Wednesday, August 22, 2012

DIARY OF A MAD HOUSEWIFE - Alice Cooper - (What's The Consequence To Be Free?) (1970)

"Diary Of A Madman" with Vincent Price came out in 1963, and was a pretty scary movie, so when "Diary Of A Mad Housewife" came out in 1970, I had high hopes for a similar viewing experience! Boy, was I wrong! Not that it's a bad movie, and even though some of these characters really deserve it, nobody gets killed or even modestly threatened, because "Diary Of A Mad Housewife" is not a horror movie, unless you count the horrors of a modern society! So why is this film on this site?

Here's the happy couple! Richard (WESTWORLD, CATCH-22) Benjamin as stick up his ass attorney Jonathan Balser, and Carrie (THE FURY, TRICK OR TREATS) Snodgress as his misunderstood wife Tina Balser!

The prefect family with the prefect spoiled and brattiest kids on the face of the planet, but there's something weird going on here, between the two of them, Frannie Michel as Liz Balser, and Lorraine Cullen as Sylvie Balser, they only have a total of 6 more acting credits! This film might have had that kind of effect!

So off the Balsers go to party with the innest of the in crowd, and it's pretty obvious who needs to smooze, and who would rather just go back home!

At the arty farty coolest of the cool party they couldn't get The Velvet Underground, so the next band of choice was none other than ALICE COOPER!!

Tina Balser is totally turned off by the sexual arrogance of Frank (DRACULA) Langella as hip author George Prager!

Alice Cooper "Pretties For You" one more time!! That pillow over there turns into one monstrous pillow fight!! The Alice Cooper band was fleshed out by Michael Bruce on guitar, Glen Buxton on guitar, Dennis Dunaway on bass, and drummer Neal Smith!

You'd have to be John Holmes to be a bigger dick that Richard Benjamin in this flick!

At the next "Be there of Be square" party they go to, Tina Balser runs in to George Prager again, and he starts really coming on strong to her! Her stupid husband is just so proud of the fact that she can hang with somebody so intellectually superior, nothing else matters!

This is what it looks like when rich dicks are sick!

I once knew a really nice older man named Richard Peters! One of the last times I saw him, he was wearing a Cox cable hat! He had no idea!

In 1970, if you were exceptionally cool, you had one of these power shoe shiners!

You know you've made it when a Nobel Prize winner steals your shit! Jonathan throws a big party to try and impress the top of the heap, but as luck would have it, everything he pays big bucks for is already passé, and the omelets by the best chef who didn't show up, are already last year's model! Who the Hell serves omelets at a party anyway? Unless they had caviar and lobster in them, I make a better one here every Sunday morning for about nine thousand dollars less!

Very simple but effective shot from Director Frank Perry and Cinematographer Gerald Hirschfeld!

Tina finally cuts loose, and lets her husband know how she really feels about all his bullshit!!

The seductively sweet and stunning Carrie Snodgress (For years I thought it was Snotgrass), undresses and gets dressed again at least 4 or 5 times in this film, and that's not such a bad thing! Carrie was rocker Neil Young's girlfriend for four years, and was the Mother of their son Zeke! She passed away in 2004 at an age of 59, which I consider very young!

The last word is that if Tina was really such a mad housewife, she would have pulled out a giant butcher knife and done away with both her annoying husband, and her eloquent and embarrassing assholish lover, and got away with it, but instead she ends up in therapy with Peter (THE DREAM TEAM, THE MONITORS) Boyle! I doubt it's a coincidence that this film is almost impossible to find!


Anonymous said...

From what I read in Alice Cooper bio the producers tried to get Steppenwolf. Alice Cooper actually plays a Steppenwolf song Mars Bonfire a composition, "Ride With Me" From Steppenwolf's 1971 album 'For Ladies Only'.

Eegah!! and Tabonga! said...

Good Info! I was just metaphorically saying that in the script the party givers wanted VU because of the coolness quotient! I had no idea any other band was actually chosen for the role! That's funny! Thanx!

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