Wednesday, November 25, 2015

YARASA ADAM - BEDMEN - The Turkish Batman (1973)

Well, here's a titillating tale for your pre-thanks pleasure! It's called "Yarasa Adam - Bedmen" (or Betmen, one of the two) aka "Turkish Batman," and is as close to being a turkey movie as you're gonna get, on multiple layers! The biggest factor being, a decent copy is near impossible to find, and the one that's free on the internet has not only horrible video quality, but the sound is equally awful, but that's what you get for free these days! At least you can watch it if you really want to, and are looking for cheap thrills!

Where are you going to find this piece of classic trash?
Where else but at The Internet Archive!!

 That's a truly unfortunate handle for Mr. Tulgar!

Well, here they are, Batman and Robin or Bedmen and Robinmen, or Betmen and Robinmen, whatever you want to call them! They're more of a tag team circus act than superheroes, but it all works just the same! I'm not exactly sure why they wear masks, because they take them off in front of people all the time, so it's not to hide their true identities!

"Yarasa Adam - Bedmen" is essentially a soft-core movie about strippers, kidnappers, and murderers, and Batman and Robin's relentless pursuit of the evildoers!

When they are not out protecting the rights of citizens everywhere, Batman and Robin spend a lot of time in the local strip club!

The music throughout this whole thing is uncredited and is mostly a hodgepodge ripoff of whatever the makers could find! There's some John Barry in the title song, some "Time Is Tight" by Booker T., and I'm pretty sure there's some Santana in there too besides who knows what else!  Check out this couple of minutes to see what I mean! 

Bedmen and Bedrobin are very exuberant about their appreciation of all this fine talent!

There are no sub-titles, so unless you speak Turkish, you won't know exactly what's going on, but you don't have to be much of a brain bat to figure it out! There are bad guys killing nude and scantily clad women, and there's Bedmen and Robinmen taking them out one by one!

This is the Turkish version of The Batmobile!

As I stated earlier, this print is horrible, and I spent a lot of time just trying to make these pictures look somewhat presentable!

Never going to pass up a shot of a record player if I don't have to! This looks to be a classic Turkish portable model!

This is victim number 3 or 4, I can't quite remember which! She's just hanging out at home digging some uncredited Booker T. when a bunch of hooligans break in on her!

Thugs breakin' in on half-dressed chicks seems to be the basic modus operandi!

This shot of this tough guy holding this kitten cracks me up for some reason!

Batman and Robin save another fair damsel in distress, and Batman scores again, while Robin gets left holding the empty bag!

Here's the Turkish version of the Bat Phone! I guess he's called Bedmen for a reason!

Time to go back to the strip club again!

Bedmen and Robinmen continue to dig the action! These two are insatiable!

So that's pretty much the way it goes, abduction, fight scene, strip club, kidnapping, strip club, murder, fight scene, strip club, etc. etc. etc!

All the spoils go to the victor, who in this case, is Batman!
After you're full to the brim tomorrow, and if you've got nothing better to do, then check back in for our special Thanksgiving leftovers! Bring your own gravy! Cheers!

Monday, November 23, 2015

EEGAH!! & TABONGA! AT THE MOVIES 4 / The Early Sixties

The early sixties was a special time for Eegah!! and Tabonga! since we were able to see many horror and sci-fi movies at the theater when they were first released. We had Famous Monsters magazine to get us excited about upcoming productions too, but, things were starting to change. By around 1965 movies had lost a lot the magic of the fifties and their appeal for us. On top of that, we were in our mid-teens and there was those things called... Girls! The cherry on top was the British invasion and the music was irresistible, case closed.

GORGO was all over the pages of Famous Monsters and the other monster mags. We thought it was okay and enjoyed it, but, it didn't stack up against our favorites. This movie tried to capitalize on the popularity of Godzilla.

Oh, man, did we ever love this one! Blobs, we loved blobs, especially this one. It blindsides you at every turn and Max is totally creepy. Maybe our favorite part was when the doctors pulled a hunk of CALTIKI off of Max's arm, with the flesh melted away!

I'm sure we laughed a few times because these little BRAIN EATERS were nothing more than lint balls pulled by string and pipe cleaners for antennae... Wow, scary!

Also, there were these crazy shots with the camera set at weird angles, making us dizzy.

I have a rowdy little sound clip from 1987 of a tune by our garage band, Hermanos Guzanos, we all had Casio samplers at that time, what would you expect from artists? Here's some fun... BRAIN EATERS!

DOCTOR BLOOD'S COFFIN is a real weirdie, shots of the zombie in the monster magazines made him look very cool in the shadows. But, the flick was a little boring for us.

We really liked this one! THE MANSTER had tons of weird moments and kept us entertained from start to finish! See you again on Wednesday when Eegah!! invades The Dungeon!

Saturday, November 21, 2015

HONEYMOON OF HORROR - "Would You Turn That Music Off? I Can't Stand It" (1964)

Last Wednesday, I told you about one uncomfortable marriage, and now I've got another one for you! Tonight's Saturday Night Special is called "Honeymoon Of Horror," and I'm sorry, but the sequels weren't called "Marriage Of Terror," and "Children From Hell," but they very well could have been if this couple had just been able to stick it out more than a couple of days!

There are credits for the fancy car they're driving, there are credits for his clothes, and there are credits for the pad this film was made at, but there are no credits for the music, which is too bad, because a lot of the music in "Honeymoon Of Horror" is pretty damn cool, and undoubtedly one of the highlights of the movie!

Nothing like showing up at a romantic and secluded honeymoon shack, only to find out it's full of  your new husband's drunken and freaky artiste friends!

The new bride is Abbey Heller as Lilli Duvre! It's hard to believe, but just like in a lot of these 60's Southern movies, this is Abbey's only film performance! Her Husband Emile Duvre was played by Robert Parsons! 10 years later, Robert made one more appearance in a film about the amazing comedian Lenny Bruce called "Lenny," as a plainclothes detective!

Now this is a truly Arty Farty Florida Party circa 1964!

Your party wasn't hip enough unless you had a belly dancer!

Capris and berets, the hipster version of the Hokey Pokey!
A little later, the guy in the beret stops reading and starts kissing the woman's foot instead!

After the party is over, Lilli is confronted by her husband's loyal manservant Hajmir!
Vincent Petti is Hajmir in his only film appearance ever!

Lilli receives some weird calls in the middle of the night, freaks out, and has to run around in her underwear a little bit until she faints!

The loving couple are caught staring into a circular sculpture suspended over the pool! Later in the movie, the same sculpture would be used to intimidate the new bride!

Emile's sick brother Max makes a pass at Lilli in no time at all! Max was played by Alexander Panas who unlike most of the cast actually has seven other acting credits!

Lilli is pursued by some unknown person into the woods!

When everything isn't going all topsy turvy round and round, Lilli and Emile still find time to be madly in love!

"Honeymoon Of Horror" is a crappy movie no doubt, but I love these two postcard perfect shots a lot! The telephone booth in the middle of nowhere is classic!

Pursued once again, Lilli finds herself in this almost deserted diner with a waitress who just wants to dance and not listen to her horror story! You'll get a good glimpse of this scene in the sound clip as the waitress puts another coin in the jukebox! 

While she's only on the screen for a couple of minutes before her untimely demise, the waitress is probably the brightest star in the whole production! He name is Yanka Mann, and she was also in "Flesh Feast," and "Sometimes Aunt Martha Does Dreadful Things!"

Beverly Lane was poster girl blonde bimbo Helene Russel, one of Emile's olde flames!

I'll leave it up to your imagination who the psycho is, and who the hero is!

Four faces of Lilli! Horror, Deceit, Confusion, and are you freakin' kidding me!
If you're interested in what this film is really about, I'm sure they have lots of copies at 

Monster Music

Monster Music
AAARRGGHHH!!!! Ya'll Come On Back Now, Y'Hear??