Saturday, August 1, 2015

WARTEZIMMER ZUM JENSEITS - Martin Böttcher - "Mark Of The Tortoise" (1964)

I'll probably still be doing lots of cartoons on Wednesdays for awhile, but for right now Saturday night is going to be about Sinister films and sinister people, and tonight's film "Mark Of The Tortoise" is a prefect freakin' example! 

Dingy, dark and dirty, those are three elements in film we enjoy, and that's something that German filmmakers are really good at! Oh, yeah, and dank too!

Time for a public service announcement! Drink, Drank, Drunk!  "DRINK DRIVE DEATH!" Just don't do it! Drink, stay home, and watch cool old movies instead!

So who is that reading Holiday magazine and listening to some cool tunes by the brilliant composer Martin Böttcher!?

None other than Dungeon hero Klaus Kinski again, this time as a washed up knife thrower in need of a job! If you listen to the sound clip, check out the voice they have dubbed in for Klaus, it's pretty ridiculous! Martin is not used in this film as much as I would like to hear, but what there is, is great! Here's a tasty morsel from this scene, and a bit more from the end! Do a search on the sidebar for Martin, and you can get a good handle on some of his massive library of achievements!

Here's a great twofer, Hildegard (The Lost Continent) Knef as sexy evil girlfriend Lorelli, and Carl (Death In The Red Jaguar) Lang as scarred henchman Crantor!! What a great pair! The knife in the wall was just thrown by Klaus in the dark to prove that his skills even improve a little when he's under the influence!

Hence the American title, "Mark Of The Tortoise!" Somebody had fun painting those tortoise shells!

Doing a door by door check for the killer turns out to be a pretty good gig for this bobby!

Richard Münch is The Boss! Richard had a long history of playing evil dudes, and he was in at least four Jerry Cotton flicks! He's pretty damn good at being bad!

Nice pad! This is the kind of locale that makes these type of flicks so enjoyable! If you need all kinds of CGI animation and stale gags, then this is not your kind of movie, but if you like cool pages out of history and tricky stories then this is a film you'll dig!

The Boss has a pretty damn advanced video surveillance system for back in the day!

And a herd of turtles to boot! Pretty suspicious!

Command Central!

The male lead character quasi-hero in this film is a guy named Götz (The Cat, The Swine, The Sandman) George, and I'm pleased to tell you that unlike a lot of names that come up around here, Götz is not only alive and kicking today, but is also filming a movie as we speak called "Böse Wetter!"

So when the Boss has machine guns built into his wheelchair and he kills his devoted employees without any sense of remorse, is it politically correct to call him a crippled little bitch? Personally, in this case, I think so!

Well, it was definitely The End for this poor bastard, and Sinister Cinema is the place to go if you have a hankering to know the whole story of why!

Friday, July 31, 2015

THE GATE / New Century Entertainment Corporation - 1987

Here's a flick that I saw on the USA Network back in the late eighties, it's all about two boys that accidentally release a horde of mean little pint-sized demons from a hole in their backyard and the epic battle against evil that ensues.

I've got a little sound clip for your approval, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button over by our weird hole in the ceiling, NOW, Rufus The Gnat!.. Here's a sample of... THE GATE!

Oh great!!.. These little jerks have dug a hole into the stinky old cesspool in the backyard!

Mom and dad are leaving for a few days so big sister is in charge. Mom tells them "no parties" so what's the first thing they do? Right... PAR-TEE!! Those are cans of beer, not soda!

In the meantime, the boys have found a large geode in the hole so they try and open it up to see what could possibly be inside... Whoa, purdy lites!

I just had to show this shot, the pursuit of beauty takes a lot of hard work!

Welp, the boys have unleashed the evil in the hole and one of them falls in only to be attacked by a pile of little demons from Heck!

Then, this zombo dude shows up! After he chases the boys around, he falls face first onto the floor only to break apart into many little hostile critters!

At the climax, the little things combine together to form the real evil, a giant wormish creature from Hell itself! After it grabs the boy, the boy's hand grows a cool looking eyeball... Wow, wish I had one of those!

After shaking it off, the boy figures out that his toy rocket can be used as a weapon... 3, 2, 1..

The rocket hits its mark and zing, bang, sizzle, kapow!!

Better run kid, the place is about to blow!! See you again tomorrow for more fun from the Dungeon Gang!

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

BETTY IN BLUNDERLAND - Max Fleischer - Sammy Timberg "How Do You Do?" (1934)

Trying to write something new and unusual about Betty Boop is about like trying to say something new and original about other cinematic icons like James Bond, John Wayne, Marilyn Monroe, or The Three Stooges! I just don't have it in me!

All I'm trying to do here is remind you about things you shouldn't forget about, those little things like Betty Boop that make America great, and the world a better place to live in!

So Betty's putting together a puzzle! Let's take a survey, when was the last time you put a jig-saw puzzle together?  Picking up the pieces of a broken iPhone6 doesn't count!

The Fleischer's get wacky right out of the box with some fun stuff by Sammy Timberg! "So, How do you do" anyhow? Here's another good question, who is responsible for some of the best cartoons of all time? Max Fleischer, Ub Iwerks, Walt Disney, Tex Avery, Chuck Jones, or Jay Ward? All comments will be duly appreciated!

Betty falls asleep, and the rabbit wakes up!

Into the looking glass we go!

Here's a weird deal, when Betty comes out on the other side of the mirror, her hair is longer!

"When logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead, just go ask Betty, I think she'll know!" - Jefferson Airplane (Kinda, Sort of)!

All the characters are there! Sorry about the quality of these pictures, but that's what you get for free some times!

Max Fleischer used some of Lewis Carroll's characters that were too weird for the more hallowed Disney version like The Mock Turtle, and his best pal the Gryphon!

I've got two words for you here, Basil Wolverton!

Somebody else who forgot to show up in the Disney version was the mean olde Jabberwocky!

 The Jabberwocky unceremoniously tosses Betty off the cliff!

Betty in Lemming Wonderland!

Betty makes it back home safe and sound! Vacation is over, so the cartoons will stop for a while, but right, wrong, or indifferent, they will be back, one of the few things I can guarantee! Now it's time to get back to some more Sinister features for me!

Monster Music

Monster Music
AAARRGGHHH!!!! Ya'll Come On Back Now, Y'Hear??