MURDER AT THE VANITIES - "Show Girls On Parade and Murder Set To Music" (1934)

It's time for another Saturday Night Special, and this time it's a film called "Murder At The Vanities" from 1934! It might have been 86 years ago, but it's still as fresh as the year it was made!

"Murder At The Vanities" was one of the last films made before the The Motion Picture Production Code was enacted!

This was the code that governed the film making business until freakin' 1968, when the ratings system they still use today kicked in. I.E........G, PG, R, X.

I'd love to list all the rules for you, but here are just a couple that would have made this film be banned if it had been made the following year.  VI.4 "Dancing costumes intended to permit undue exposure of indecent movements in the dance are forbidden." or VII.2 "Dances which emphasize indecent movements are to be regarded as obscene!"

From 1957 to 1968, Kitty Carlisle was a panelist on the TV show called "To Tell The Truth" for an unbelievable 389 episodes and I never ever thought she was sexy once, but "Murder At The Vanities" changed my mind completely!

"Murder At The Vanities" is for all rights and purposes, a musical and has a huge cast that includes "The Most Beautiful Girls In The World."

This was a tough film to limit to a handful of pictures. The insanely gorgeous imagery just goes on forever!

Girls, girls, girls, girls, and then.............................

...............There's more girls.

The Vanities was one heckuva extraganza, and it's no wonder it was sold out!

Wow! Sexy but can kick your butt!!

Over the course of the film, a couple of people do get murdered, but it's incidental to the real story, which is what you see here!

Two of the main players are Victor McLaglen on the left as the Detective more interested in the ladies than the murders, and on the right is Jack Oakie, the guy trying to put on this show. Victor McLaglen was a boxer who would take on all comers at circuses and wild west shows. He fought World Heavyweight Champion Jack Johnson in a 1909 exibition match! Funny guy Jack Oakie was functionally deaf, and worked by reading lips, but you would never know it by watching him perform!

All that, and I haven't even got around to the good stuff yet!!

If you've never seen "Murder At The Vanities," this song and dance number will literally blow your mind! Gertrude (Flamingo Road) Michael as Rita Ross belts out a little ditty called "Sweet Marijuana."

Although it doesn't have anything to do with dealing drugs, they might have just stepped over the code line one more time, and you can check it out for yourself right HERE!

This is just one of the seven cute little Mary Jane blossoms!

At this point, they've completely lost their minds and the black cast members take over the whole show, and the man in charge is one of the most phenomenal and extraordinary musicians of any time, Mr. Duke Ellington!

The high energy of the black performers totally rocks the place, and takes the whole show to a higher level, especially in the sexy beautiful women department!

This is just a fantastic shot!

Amongst all this beauty, believe it or not, the real star of the show is the smaltzy Eric Lander as played by Danish actor Carl Brisson, who doubly believe it or not, was also a professional boxer, and starred in a movie called "The Ring" in 1927!

Carl delivers a very suave version of the classic "Cocktails For Two"............. 

 

...........But my favorite version of this song will always be the high energy one delivered by

 Spike Jones!

 

So how the Hell do you cram almost thirty people into one tight shot and make it work? well, it's just like everything else in "Murder At The Vanities," Sheer genius!

Just in case you'd like to know more about the code, Wikipedia does a good job of explaining the whole thing!

TALES OF TOMORROW / "Appointment On Mars" - 1952

Here's a wild one from the TOT gang. In this episode, three men man a rocket and go to Mars where they will mine for rare minerals and ore to take back to Earth to cash in. But, things don't go as planned...

It stars Leslie (FORBIDDEN PLANET) Nielsen, William (CONQUEST OF SPACE) Redfield and Brian (METEOR) Keith.

So, three explorers from Earth, Robbie, Bart and Jack, land on Mars in their shiny spaceship. Mars is a very strange place. This is a pretty cool set for such a low budget production.

The boys celebrate by bringing out a cooler with cans of beer inside, and they chug them down. Robbie opens them up with a for real church-key!

But, Bart is having weird. ominous feelings about the place. He wants to know why there's plant life but no animal life, it's not adding up...

But, they have a job to do, so they head out to search for the things they came here for. I showed this still because they are wearing freaking bowling shoes! But, you gotta remember that they are just three regular guys (that built a spaceship?) from Earth.

Oh, I got it, they met at a bowling alley!

Bart strikes gold as they say, he's found a huge uranium deposit, I mean huge! Robbie's already counting his cut of the fortune...

They even stake a claim! Like, in case some other earthlings show up? What?!!

Robbie goes off to check something out but returns when he hears Bart and Jack arguing. Jack has a horrible headache and has to deal with Bart who claims that Jack took his lucky rabbit's foot after he laid it down. Robbie tells them to calm down and he leaves again.

So, Bart and Jack get right back into it. Bart attacks Jack with that rock hammer and they tussle until Robbie comes back to break up the fight. Bart says he's going to shoot Jack!

Robbie's in a real pickle, Bart will not give him his gun because he's paranoid of Martians attacking him!! And Jack won't give him his gun because Bart won't give his up!!

That night, something wakes up Bart. He starts shooting into the dark and wakes the others up. He keeps firing away and Robbie tries to stop him.

But, Bart ends up with a bullet in the gut, he's dead! Bart cannot believe what has just happened and is a little in shock. Then it happens... Jack accuses Robbie of murdering Bart for his share of the money from the uranium. Which of course is not true, it was an accident. 

Jack demands that Robbie show him how to use the controls of the spaceship but Robbie tells him that, oh, I see, you're planning on leaving me on Mars, aren't you?!

Robbie makes a break and at a distance they start firing at each other. Robbie takes a bullet and charges at Jack.

After taking another hit, he gets to Jack and chokes him out before dying himself.

Finally, two Martians appear (in voice only) and say that it was so easy to create paranoia in the earthlings, leading to their demise. And... It would be interesting to check out their spaceship, which I took for, lets go to Earth and mess with the people there!! Join us again tomorrow as we'll try and give you what you want, here at The Dungeon!!..

THE GEORGE BURNS & GRACIE ALLEN SHOW - "Thanksgiving" (1951)

 

The Festive but Wild Wednesday offering this week is Season 02, Episode 05 of the 1951 hilarious TV show "The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show."

 This episode was appropriately named "Thanksgiving."

This episode starts with George and Gracie coming home from the grocery store, and George questioning why they had to go to the store on Thanksgiving, and Gracie explains that their neighbor Blanche went to the store for her the day before, so she's repaying the favor. Out of the two bags, Gracie only bought butter for herself, and that's how this show rolls. It's just one running gag to the next, tied together loosely as a story!

Before George could get into the house, Blanche's husband Harry shows up and tries to convince George to bet on a horse with 60 to1 odds named Linda Lee. Harry just knows it's going to win because his business partner has a girlfriend named Linda Lee. George tells Harry that he only bets on long shots, and an episode long gag ensues. Harry Morton was played by Fred (Zotz!, Visit To A Small Planet) Clark. Fred was also in "The Twilight Zone" episode "A Most Unusual Camera," and was Dr. Roy Clyburn on five episodes of "The Beverly Hillbillies."

The set for the show was unique with George being able to step right out of the room to talk to the audience! George Burns' delivery is always classic!

Gracie Allen is funnier than Hell, and is so ditzy, she makes Lucille Ball look like a Rocket Surgeon! A master of one-liners, you never have a clue what she's going to say. Here she's talking to her Mom. Her Mother and her put their turkeys in the oven at the same time, and then the Mother calls Gracie and lets her know when the bird is ready!

Charles Lane as Joe Crawford comes to deliver George a box of cigars, and while he's waiting for the cup of coffee Gracie offers him, she puts him to work peeling potatoes.

Charles Lane had 374 credits to his name, and acted from 1930 to 1995. Just a couple of roles he had were Mr. Bevis in "The Twilight Zone" episode called "Mr. Peckinpaugh," and he was also the Doctor in one of my favourite films, "Kiss Me Deadly." 

Charles lived to be 102 years old! What a guy!

Blanche Morton was played by Bea Benaderet. After Gracie gets involved, there's a big mix-up between Linda Lee the horse and Linda Lee the person, and Blanche is led to believe that Harry is having an affair, but it all gets straightened out! Bea was originally asked to play Ethel Mertz but had to decline because she was already doing this show. Bea started in radio, and ended up doing a lot of voice over work for Warner Brothers cartoons. She did female voices that Mel Blanc couldn't do like Granny and Witch Hazel. She was also the voice of Betty Rumble on "The Flinstones." If that wasn't enough, Bea also played Kate Bradley on 174 episodes of "Petticoat Junction."

 Also invited to Thanksgiving dinner are James (Port Sinister) Warren as Casey, and Gerry Cameron as the racy Linda Lee in her only appearance ever.

The announcer on the show was also a friend of the family named Harry von Zell. As a radio announcer, Harry made one of the greatest bloopers of all time calling President Herbert Hoover, "Hoobert Heever."

The sponsor of the show was Carnation evaporated milk, and instead of breaking to commercial, they brilliantly work it into the story of the show in between jokes!

 

So give thanks that we have access to such great entertainment since a lot of people can't celebrate Thanksgiving properly this year, but you can still watch this and some other Thanksgiving specials for free like "Edgar Bergen with Charlie McCarthy and Mortimer Snerd," and the great Tex Avery cartoon "Jerky Turkey" right  HERE!