It's the first day of October, 2016, so let's get this Halloween Countdown thing started with a public service announcement from 1977 called:
SO, this witch's costume is totally unsafe for a variety of reasons!
#01 - If you trip and fall down because your vision is obscured by some stupid mask, and you get hit by a car going 45 miles an hour.................
.............You're most likely going to spill all your candy out into the street, and that would be a real tragedy of Shakespearean proportions !
#02 - Don't carry around sharp objects, and if your costume requires something like a sword, well, then go ahead and saw it in half because getting poked in the eye with a blunt object is so much better than getting poked with a sharp object!
Her Mom hemmed up her dress so she wouldn't trip on it, and they ditched the mask so she will have full vision, but her costume is still not safe, because it is dark and hard to see after the sun goes down!
So why not have a costume that is bright and cheery with reflector tape wrapped all around it, even if it doesn't make sense any more, it's going to be a lot safer!!
#03 - Eat a big healthy meal like pizza before you head out into the night so you don't gorge yourself on all that free candy you're gonna get and end up getting sick!
Grab as much candy as you can, because you never know how much of it you're going to have to throw away because it is either poisoned or has razor blades in it!!
But always be polite and say thank-you even if you're given arsenic, oysters, or parsnips!
#04 - Have your Mom inspect each and every piece of candy, and toss out anything questionable! You might only end up with a couple of candy corns, but that's all right, it's better than dying!
#05 - Cut into all fruit and vegetables to make sure there's no broken glass or any other sharp objects inside, and make sure and wash them too in case somebody has put rat poison on them!
Now, get out there, and have a good time!!!
