Friday, June 17, 2011

LES VAMPIRES / Société des Etablissements L. Gaumont - 1915

Welcome to Friday Night Bijou with Tabonga, here at The Dungeon!.. Tonite's feature is the 400 minute silent French serial from 1915 about a secret society of criminals known as... The Vampires.

So, let's bring in our little Dungeon helper, Ralphie The Tarantula, and let's get this show on the road!.. Hit the big red 'GO' button, Ralphie, here's!.. LES VAMPIRES!

The story's about a gang of French criminals that is constantly being chased by the police... Check out the dude's part!

In old Europe, there was always something hiding behind a hanging picture!

Vampires dress in black and steal your stuff in the middle of the night.

And, they can get away by doing things you'd never do in a million years!!

Batgirl does her thang at the opera...

I think Batgirl should sue Walt Disney for copyright infringement!.. You go, girl!!

Batgirl faints at the end of her performance!

Looks like it's curtains for our hero!

The tables are turned when a Vampire is duped and replaces our tied up hero as the dude who's gonna get executed at dawn!!

Let's see... What's a six letter word for monkey bars?

Hmmm, Irma Vep... That's a weird name!

.....Oh, I get it!

Wow, a collector plate from 1915!

The copper's having a bad day, but the maid has to just keep on working and cleaning.

There's always some mysterious activity going on, it seems to never end.

The chase goes on for another 300 minutes, you get the picture...

Here's our little Vampire with her own pulp magazine!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

LAS RATAS NO DUERMEN DE NOCHE - Daniel White - "Who's Sorry Now" (1976)

The literal translation is "The Rats Don't Sleep At Night," but somewhere along the line it got changed to "Crimson, The Color Of Blood," and eventually distilled down to nothing but "CRIMSON!"

Okay!! Paul Naschy has the top billing as gang leader Jack Surnett in this story of a bank robbery gone horribly wrong!

The alarm goes off and Jack Surnett got shot in the head, so let's bring in the washed up drunken Nick Cave wanna be doctor to patch up the whole mess!

"How do you expect me to do a head transplant with these gloves on my hands? It's just not possible"

C'mon Doc, you can get him to do it, just have another drink and everything's gonna be okay!! It's just a simple head transplant!

The Boss is gonna be all right, we just have to find him a new head!! I'm sure there's a good one at one of the local bars!!

Or maybe we should check out what's happening down at the "Gigi Striperama!"

They got some smokin' hot ribs and chicken over at Leroy's Place!

It wasn't until I watched the special features that I realized that "Crimson" was just a soft-core sex romp wrapped around a third class horror script! Each and every scene that involved a woman was actually some crazed sex frolic!

That's entertainment, circa 1976!

Musically, Daniel White was at the helm, and as always does a terrific job! Mr White is one of the more amazing composers we've ever had the opportunity to write about, having scored quite a few Jess Franco flicks. Daniel White played piano in bars and cabarets after the war, wrote jingles for commercials in the 50's, and recorded a bunch of records in a number of different genres!

Here he is, the guy who is Jack Surnett's arch rival, and the most likely person to want to donate his head for a good cause, the diabolical lookin' Roberto Mauri as Le Sadique, or The Sadist!! Of course you remember Roberto from "Curse Of The Blood Ghouls," and "King Of Kong Island" which he also wrote using the name Robert Morris! In all, Roberto wrote 23 stories and screenplays, but he doesn't get the blame for this one!

What in the Hell is that you have on your head, this ain't no stinkin' "Star Trek" convention!!

Tah-Dumm!!

Let's see, by using your hands and my brain, I think we'll be able to put this head on that body over there and everything will be cool! It's easy, even my cousin Larry could do it!!

The patient seems a little hostile, maybe it wasn't a very good combination! Maybe we shouldn't have used a guy named The Sadist, might be bad karma!

It doesn't take a whole lot of imagination to comprendo what's going to happen next! The Sadist wasn't only mean as Hell, he was also a horndog with an uncontrollable libido!!

In the extra scenes, even this body falling out of the closet is completely topless!

Paul Naschy does his best impression of "Frankenstein's Daughter!"

The cops can't figure anything out, because it's really difficult to interrogate someone who is dancing the whole time you're talking to them!

I've been wrong before, but wasn't this guy the guy who played Roger Rabbit?

One of Tabonga's relatives had the role as "The Tree" along the side of the road! The Tree has 4,793 acting roles and can be seen in such classics as "The Treasure Of Sierra Madre," "Bigfoot," and any number of Al Adamson films!

They finally get Paul to settle down, but just like in real life, there's nothing on the tube!!

The King of Spanish Horror Paul Naschy died for real in 2009 at the age of 75! "Crimson" is not exactly Paul's best work, but there's a buttload of fun Zombie, Vampire, Werewolf, Frankenstein, and Mummy flicks that are fairly easy to find that Paul made with your mind in mind!

Monster Music

Monster Music
AAARRGGHHH!!!! Ya'll Come On Back Now, Y'Hear??