THE BRASS BOTTLE - "Sihirli Vazo" (1964)

HO, HO, HO, and MERRY X-MAS to you all!!!

This is as close as I could come to a Christmas movie, and it's fairly similar in a few areas, like the co-star is the folk-singer/actor, Burl, "Mr. Holly Jolly Christmas" Ives himself! Burl is also known for his classic version of "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer," and he kind of looks like Santa too!

Also during one it's first appearances in the movie, "The Brass Bottle" itself looks like a Christmas gift! Actually, it's a gift that Tony Randall as Harold Ventimore is bringing to the Father of his future bride, Barbara Eden as Sylvia Kenton! Of course, Tony will always be known for his role in "The Odd Couple" as will Barbara for being Jeannie in "I Dream Of Jeannie," but they were both together in another great movie too, "The 7 Faces Of Dr. Lao!" I find it hilarious that Barbara Eden is in a movie about a genie, and it's not her!!

Richard Erdman as Seymour Jenks, and Kathie Browne as Hazel Jenks are Harold's eccentric room mates! These two combined have been in literally hundreds of TV shows! Previous to this film, Richard was in the "Twilight Zone" episode known as "A Kind Of Stopwatch!" Kathie is no longer with us, but Richard has had a lengthy career and is still working today!

Sylvia's Father refuses the gift (he had a electric table lamp that looked just like it) so Harold takes it back home and pries it open! Viola, there's a genie inside and all his problems should be behind him, but instead, all his problems just get worse!

The genie's name is Fakrash, and he is capable of doing all kinds of wondrous things!

Good shot of that classic Volkwagen bus back there!

The cops get involved when Fakrash delivers a herd of camels and their trainers to Harold's home!

Sydney Jenks tries to explain a few things to Harold in his own inimitable way!

In an effort to please him, Fakrash gives Harold a trunk full of these 10 dollar bills!

Harold has Sylvia and her parents over for dinner, but Fakrash changes the whole thing into a temple with dancing girls and all means of finery, much to Harold's chagrin!

The main course is the eyes of mountain lambs cooked in honey, of course!!

 

And then the fun begins! Pop singer Lulu Porter is the belly dancer turning all the guy's heads!

 The perfectly stuffy Edward Andrews has the role of Sylvia's Father! Edward's familiar face was all over the TV in the 60's and the 70's and he was in, not one, but two "Twilight Zone" episodes, "You Drive," and "Third From The Sun!"

Fakrash bring his old girlfriend into the scene to help poor Harold, but when Harold says "No!" she refuses to leave, and since she has genie powers too, Fakrash can't send her back! The scrumptious Kamala Devi had the role of Tezra! Kamala had a total of 13 credits to her name and was married to "The Rifleman" Chuck Connors for 9 years!

Since Tezra doesn't seem to be going anywhere, Harold gets her some modern clothes. She doesn't know what a girdle is so he has to demonstrate how it's worn for her!

I just like this shot of Burl Ives!

No, it's not a guest appearance by Francis The Talking mule! Fakrash had tried to explain to Sylvia's Father the truth of the situation, but since he was having nothing to do with it, Fakrash turned him into the pompous ass that he really is!

Well, The End isn't quite this bad for Harold, but he does have to go through a lot to get to a different ending! I don't know why this movie is so difficult to find, but all fans of 1960's pop culture will find it worth the search, so without further adieu, "to all a good night!!!"

HOT-ROD GIRL - Alexander Courage "All Hopped Up" (1956)

Welcome to the Wednesday Night Drags! Tonight's real gone flick is "Hot-Rod Girl!" I didn't realize it when I rented it from Netflix, but this film can be downloaded for free at the good ole Internet Archive! Once again,  The Archive never ceases to amaze me!!

Lori (REVENGE OF THE CREATURE, DAY THE WORLD ENDED) Nelson IS Lisa Vernon, the "Hot-Rod Girl!" The funny thing is that this movie isn't really about her that much!!

"Hot-Rod Girl" literally screams 1956, and no matter what, I still like 1950's movies the best!!

Is that an MG  she's smoking on the line? I don't think that import stood a chance in the quarter mile versus her souped up Thunderbird!

For me, it's hard to tell since it's a convertible whether this is a 1952, 53, 54, or 55 T-Bird! I'm sure one of you purists will let me know! They didn't really change much through those years! Beautiful car no matter what the year!

Chuck (THE RIFLEMAN) Connors is the local cop in charge of trying to keep the crazy kids in line!

One of the best impressionists of all time, Frank (THE RIDDLER) Gorshin is allowed to do some of his schtick in his role as Flat Top! One of the funniest things I ever saw on The Ed Sullivan Show was Frank Gorshin doing his impersonation of Frankenstein bowling!!

One of the gang, Del Erikson as Steve Northrup gets goaded into a street race! The final straw was when the guy in the white hot rod got in front of him and purposely backed his car into Steve's! Do people still do that kind of crap? I had a car full of weirdos run into me at a stoplight one time when I was in high school just looking for a fight, but that was back when we had metal bumpers!! Try that today, and you might total your car!

Steve dies in an accident and his brother Jeff is ruined since he was the mechanic responsible for hopping up his brother's rod! Jeff was played by John Smith who had a nice career in TV westerns as Deputy Lane Temple in 26 episodes of "Cimmaron City," and as Slim Sherman in 126 episodes of "Laramie!"

Speaking of hopped up, the killer music in "Hot-Rod Girl" was played by an all-star band of L.A. jazz and studio musicians that included names like Bud Shank, Dave Pell, Pete Candoli, Maynard Ferguson, Frank Rosolino, Barney Kessel, and Milt Holland!!! And speaking of stars, the music in "Hot-Rod Girl" was composed by the none other than Alexander Courage, the man who composed the theme for "Star Trek!!!"

And while we're on the subject of music, this gal was known as L.P. as in long-playing record, because every time she says something, she totally runs off at the mouth! The lovely L.P. was played by Roxanne (SON OF SINBAD, THE LOVED ONE) Arlen!

Every time L.P. comes up with some brilliant statement, it has this kind of effect on the other kids!

The new kid in town, Mark (CAPTAIN MIDNIGHT) Andrews as Bronc Talbott is a troublemaker! What is he, like 24?

Bronc immediately tries to make a play for Lisa, but she's holding out for Jeff to pull out of his blue funk!

So when Flat Top tries to tell Bronc to cool down, Bronc challenges him to a game of 'Chicken!'

Tough guy Bronc prevails and Flat Top gets the crap scared out of him, and swears he'll never play 'chicken' again, but the local authorities find out about the game and start putting pressure on the kids again!

In a fit of jealousy, Bronc runs Jeff and Lisa off the road, and a kid on a bicycle gets hit, and the blame goes on Jeff even though he's innocent!

When Chuck Connors presses Bronc for the truth after finding some paint off the kid's bicycle on Bronc's bumper, Bronc conks him on the head with a bottle and tries to escape, but Jeff shows up and kicks Bronc's ass, and saves his own in the process!! It's the perfect ending for a perfect movie!!

SOYLENT GREEN - Fred Myrow - "First Stage Removal" (1973)

As a public service, and in an an effort to get everybody to better appreciate the life we have today, here's another dreary vision of the future with no vampire bats, but just a whole lot of harsh reality!

It's 2022, and the future has not gone far enough, or yet fully degraded to Judge Dredd(2079-2132)standards, but it isn't quite the garden of paradise it used to be, that's for sure, and food seems to be a real problem! "SOYLENT GREEN" as it is seen here, is the main staple, and/or the only staple, depending how how much wealth and power you don't have!

"Soylent Green" had an all-star cast that included Whit(Teenage Frankenstein)Bissell as the Big Cheese, Governor Santini, in one of the smaller roles!

I'm sure you've probably seen this classic buddy movie starring Charlton Heston as Detective Thorn, and Edward G. Robinson as his best friend, Sol Roth, and if not, why not?? It's like mandatory!!

This vision of the future is very overpopulated, do the math, how far off could they be? You gotta go through this just to get out of your apartment!

The music for "Soylent Green" was created by a wonderful composer named Fred Myrow! Fred had classical roots and training, and not only wrote the music for this movie, and the "Phantasm" flicks, he also orchestrated music for the likes of Jim Morrison, Van Dyke Parks, and Brian Wilson!

Just like today, some peoples have got it better than others, there is no middle class, just the godforsaken poor, and what's left of the rich! These rather wealthy folks are Joseph Cotten as William R. Simonson, the man with the most, and the lovely Leigh Taylor-Young as his companion Shirl! Check it out, they still have video games in the future!

This IS a movie about food! The affluent can afford the finer things in life, and even though it might not look like much to you, compare it to a steady diet of nothing but "Soylent Green" biscuits, and see what you got!!

This is an excellent shot of where all the high rollers dwell, but security is not as tight as it should be!!

There's been a murder!!!

Detective Thorn is assigned to the case, where he is introduced to Chuck"The Mad Bomber"Connors as the quite unsavory Tab Fielding! Even as a cop, he's poor as Hell, so he gladly takes advantage of the situation, and helps himself to some booze, and another super luxury, a hot shower!!

There's only one person that Thorn would share with, and that's his pal Sol!

And when he shows him the meat, onions, and apples he scored, it makes Sol cry! Meat, of all things was the rarest of them all!

The guys take their time to truly savor the moment!

Shirl and all her good lookin' girlfriends are considered to be nothing more than furniture!

The only thing that could possibly be better than eating was to be able to take another hot shower, but this time with a woman. The future is so miserable, the most common things you would take for granted today, are elevated to the level of Nirvana! Not to say that taking a shower with Leigh Taylor-Young was a common task! That face will be forever embedded in my mind, if for nothing else than her role in "I Love You, Alice B. Toklas!" She had a look that was just captivating!

Hey, good inspiration for a band name!!

"Step out of the line, the man comes and takes you away!" - Buffalo Springfield

In the kind and greener future, the government offers euthanasia to it's citizens! You don't even have to be sick, if you're just tired of living, that's good enough. Dick "Eight Is Enough" Van Patten ushers Sol to his final destination, and they make it seem like it's going to be the most beautiful moment ever! The weird thing is that notorious tough guy Edgar G. Robinson actually did pass away before "Soylent Green" was ever released!

There are no winners in this movie, the future is uglier than sin, and what exactly is Thorn going to be able to do about it? Not a whole lot! Now go do what the government wants you to, even though it makes no sense at all, go change the time on your clock!