METALOCALYPSE: DETH KLOK / "Dethdoubles" - 2007

Today is not just The 4th Of July here at the Dungeon, this is our post No. 3501, and we have over 5 million hits, not too bad for some old monsters kids. And, this post will have some kick ass fireworks for our enjoyment...

So, Deth Klok is at an event for Duncan Hills Coffee and a giant crowd has amassed on the street by rabid fans of the band, because, you know, they're the most popular band in the world.

The fans are waving and shouting at them, but mostly they are just staring while the boys drink coffee and eat cinnamon rolls. After awhile though, it starts getting on their nerves, and they pick people (nerds) out of the crowd and one will say... Hey, look at that guy, what do you think about him, and they all respond... Douche Bag! That's their total responses, douche bag!

After minutes of fan bashing, Murderface pulls out his custom sawed-off shotgun, thinking it would intimidate the people and they'd leave. But, he has icing from the cinnamon rolls on his face, shirt and hands. The gun slips out of his hands and hits the ground, and a round goes off...

The Deth Klok security team is there immediately after they hear the shot, and assume that it was someone  in the crowd that fires the shot!

Needless to say, this was a public relations disaster.

So, their manager hires some body doubles for the boys, they're kinda repulsed by the idea at first, each ending up becoming best friends with their double. Thing is, they had previously mentioned to each other that none of them were actual friends, so! The manager hired the doubles to do public events in their place and preventing them from facing any danger.

But as it turns out, the doubles work for The Council and they have a brilliant plan. They have already infiltrated their target, so, next step...

Okay, here we go... Deth Klok's next gig is to play a concert while 50,000 cups of coffee are being brewed at the bottom of a volcano in a hot pool!!! The doubles will then sky lift  from The Dethcopter over to Durcell's Blimp and steal the case containing his portfolios. Durcell is the owner of Duncan Hills Coffee, which this event is for, a cup of coffee for every attendee.

This is their reason for wanting those portfolios.

The boys and their doubles just hang out and enjoy themselves.

There are a series of events going on in one day, all the doubles are each doing their own event, one shows 'Murderface' punching some guy out!

The boys are all excited, watching the events on TV, and even call their pals so they can rap about all the cool things that happened.

It's time for the big event to take place, thousands of people make the trek to the volcano rim.

The Deth Klok concert is now up and running, the crowd is screaming.

The doubles swoop in and board Dulcell's blimp, they grab the case of portfolios and drop down a rope to the ground.

The coffee's brewing away, until...

Hot lava breaks through and the volcano erupts. That's Deth Klok's stage above the hot lava.

The lava coffee overflows onto the rim where everyone is watching, and they get toasted!

Now on the ground, the doubles get a dose of the burning Hell.

Of course the boys are perfectly fine, and visit their doubles in the hospital.

The boys take them all out for lunch, and have something to tell them...

Murderface explains it in simple terms, you guys don't look like us anymore, so, there's only one thing to do... He pulls out his shotgun and it slips out of his hands again, going off in the doubles' direction. Hopin' you're having a decent 4th.

LA PORTA SUL BUIO - "The Tram" (1973)

 

This week's Saturday Night Special is called "La Porto Sul Buio," and was a four episode 1973 Italian TV show that translates into "The Door Into Darkness."

Written, Produced, and Directed by Dario Argento, if nothing else, it's interesting to see what Maestro Argento can do under the restrictions involved in making a television show instead of a movie. In other words, it's very intelligent and not nearly as violent and gory as a lot of Argento's other work.

Dario even makes an appearance, and gives an introduction at the beginning.

 

This was the second of the four episodes, and it was titled "The Tram."

Dario even introduces the star of the show, Enzo (Blood And Black Lace) Cerusico.

Here comes the other the star of the show, "The Tram," coming into the station to get cleaned. There are some trams scattered across America, but it's a more popular form of transportation in Europe.

While the janitor guy is busy cleaning the tram in between stops, he stumbles onto something quite unusual! 

There's a dead young woman stuffed under one of the seats!

He did better than I did, I couldn't even find a credit for whoever played Monica Rini, but then she was only onscreen for about three seconds.

Pierluigi (Machine Gun McCain) Aprà is Roberto Magli, the guy who is the Collector on the tram, and should have seen what happened, but he's clueless.

Detective, also known as Commisario Giordani is beside himself! How could a girl get killed on a tram car full of people, and nobody saw or heard anything?

 

Detective Giordani gets this brilliant idea. He contacts all the people that were on the tram, and gets them to go along with recreating what happened that fateful night, right up to where they got on and off, as the jazzy music composed by Giorgio (Deep Red) Gaslini, swings hard!

Unfortunately, the plan doesn't yield any more information, and the Detective is back to square one, but you have to give him credit for a valiant effort!

I was going to make a joke about Pierluigi Aprà channeling his inner Ringo Starr, but then I found out he committed suicide at the age of 36, and it didn't seem funny anymore.

There's no other conclusion that Detective Giordani can come up with, it had to be Magli. 

Corrado (Wake Up And Die) Olmi is Officer Morini, Detective Giordani's partner. Morini tells Magli that his knife is just like that one that killed the girl.

Magli is either innocent or in complete denial, but either way, he's about to get sent up the river for what probably will be the rest of his life!

Detective Giordani can't get this case off his mind, and no matter how he looks at it, it still doesn't add up or make sense to him!

The Detective decides to give it one more shot before they send Magli off forever, and he contacts everyone that was on the tram, in an effort to recreate the scene once more, but unfortunately for Magli, everybody is busy or has some kind of excuse as to why they can't make the reunion!

Excuses, excuses, excuses! It's old news, and nobody cares!

The totally gorgeous Paola (Battle Of The Amazons) Tedesco is the Detective's girlfriend Giulia. Sometime in the sub-titles they also call her Gillian.

Giulia volunteers to help flush out the killer since none of the passengers were willing to be of any assistance, but it turns out to be a bad idea after the killer seemingly kills the Detective, and she's next!

Well, at least they know for sure now that the killer wasn't Magli since he's in jail, but was it worth it?

 

Indeed it was, but it was fun to watch!

13 GREAT VINTAGE BRITISH HORROR POSTERS

 So, here are 13 great British posters for us to feast our eyes on, on a Friday! Boy, I had to do a lot of cleanup on these suckers, but I think they'll pass muster for this post.

First up is this very nice Corman double bill from 1959. You can tell if it's a British poster because they usually have a cert. X on them, like the one at the center there.

Here a terrific double bill of THE FLY and THE WASP WOMAN, in this one you can see that they came up with a freakier version of The Wasp Woman. I would love to have this poster, wow!

Then there's this chilling alternative poster for THE FLY! Wild and Weird!

Here's another double bill with THE CURSE OF THE FLY and DUEL OF THE SPACE MONSTERS, aka, FRANKENSTEIN MEETS THE SPACE MONSTER.

Here's a total freak poster, in Britain INVASION OF THE SAUCER MEN became INVASION OF THE HELL CREATURES. This is another poster I wish I had.

The title ATTACK OF THE GIANT LEECHES was changed to DEMONS OF THE SWAMP for the British audience, the movie was directed by Dungeon Pal, Bernie Kowalski! 

Okay, here's a wildcard for you, this rare poster is from that very freaky, ISLAND OF TERROR. This scene doesn't exist as far as I know. I tried to find out if there was a Euro version but found nothing, so, enjoy it for what it is, a real teaser!!

Herman Cohen movies were obviously popular with the British audience, the poster was retitled from BLOOD OF DRACULA to BLOOD IS MY HERITAGE. Seems like they didn't want to confuse the original title with Hammer productions.

They dropped the 'I was a' so the title is just TEENAGE FRANKENSTEIN, really great poster that is eye catching as Hell!

They didn't change this title for I WAS A TEENAGE WEREWOLF, another blood curdling poster to attract the viewing audience.

I really had to work on this poster image to get it to get it to look this good. MONSTER ON THE CAMPUS, another great movie from Universal Studios.

The original British title for CURSE OF THE DEMON was called, NIGHT OF THE DEMON, either way, a great movie!

We'll end the show with this nice black and white British lobby card from THE SHE-CREATURE... Well, hope your enjoyed the post, I enjoyed bringing it to you.