ILYA MUROMETS - "The Sword And The Dragon" (1956)

 

Tonight's Wednesday Weirdness is a Russian movie made in 1956 titled "The Sword And The Dragon."  The original title was "Ilya Muromets." I thought we had done pretty much every movie from the 50's and 60's that had a monster in it, then this thing reared up it's s ugly little head, and not just one, but three of them!

Here's one of the tag lines..."Eye-Filling Spectacle! Man Against Monsters!"

 

I'm sure if you were able to see a pristine copy of this film on the big screen, it would be absolutely captivating!

Here's yet another one of the tag lines....."The Largest Cast Ever Used in a Motion Picture!" 

 

Crowd favourite Shukur (Dalyokie Blizkie Gody) Burkhanov has the role of Tsar Kalin.

Beautiful shot of the village.

Equally gorgeous shot of complete and utter despair!

This cat looks straight out of Tod Browning's "Freaks."

Do you suppose that's a real bird that they just happened to capture a shot of, or a stuffed bird perfectly placed in position by the crew? Either way, it's a cool shot!

Here's another good shot of Tsar Kalin. What a smirk!

The Slavic Dragon seen in this film is known as Zmey Goronych, or Zuma the Fire Dragon, a mythical multi-headed serpent creature. 

These types of creatures can go by many names like Zmey, Zmei, Zmaya, Zmeu, Zmiy, Zmaj, Zmij.

To read more about Zmey Gorynych, try this monstrously amazing Gojipedia Site, which will tell you the whole story!

The fire-breathing Slavic Dragon is so popular in Russia, there's a giant statue of one at a Russian theme park named Safari Park Kudykin Mountain. Did you even know there were Russian theme parks? I really never thought about it before.

 

This 50 Ft. high fire-breathing sculpture/statue is one of the main features of the park that is located in  Kamenka of Zadonsk in Russia.

 

 

 This Park is legit. This is how far you have to walk just to get to it!

 For a very interesting tour of the Park, you can watch this short video, and the one that follows it!

This picture from the Park's website shows you they also like to have some fun with their dragons!

 

Unfortunately for this Dragon.........................

 

........................The Sword got top billing!

Reminds me, I haven't had shish kebob in quite a while!

AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE / Space Conflict From Beyond Pluto - 2002

Here's one from season one, in this episode Frylock and Shake meet up with their new 'space buddies'  from beyond Pluto! As in every ATHF story, it doesn't go well.

We see a disc on the roof of the Hunger Force's house, looks like something Frylock would cook up for some scientific experiment.

Like in CLOSE ENCOUNTERS, Frylock is sending out a few choice notes into space on his keyboard (La Cucaracha) hoping for a response from an alien life form.

OMG!!.. He gets a response!!

Oglethorpe (orange) and Emory invite Frylock up to their ship on a beam, they had requested that he bring a six-pack to make it a party.

Unauthorized to use the beam, freakin' Shake shows up. Frylock says he's outta there and beams himself back to Earth, he knows what a drag Shake is and wants nothing to do with him being there on the aliens' ship, bye!

Shake's relaxing in a room so Oglethorpe and Emory ready themselves to take over planet Earth. As we find out, they got nothing! They're total bumble heads.

Shake's taking a nap in a room that looks like it was designed for children! The aliens already hate Shake's guts and won't let him out.

Oglethorpe even offers him a few women's magazines to kill some time while he's in there.

They feed Shake, who's hungry, some virtual pizza in a fish tank. Then there's a phone call for Shake, brought to him by a little telephone robot!

The call is from Frylock... Carl wants to know why he paid Shake to mow the lawn and now it's burned to a crisp and his house is melted!... Well!

Shake tells Carl that he warned him that there would be risks involved. Oh, and he farmed the job out to Meatwad. Carl tells him that they'll settle it when he gets back... With his tire iron!!

Even Carl's precious car gets burned up while Meatwad explains his reasons for doing what he did to the lawn. Carl can't win, and he already paid Shake $20 for the job!

The aliens finally let Shake out of the room, only to be further repulsed by the cup's actions and rambling, and he wants to be their best friend! Gasp!!

Oglethorpe comes up with a plan to get rid of Shake, he tells Shake that there's a hundred dollar bill on the wing of the ship. Even though nothing's there, the lure of a hundred dollars is too much for the money grubbing Shake.

Shake gets in a pod and searches for the illusive bill, then Oglethorpe yells to Emory... GUN IT!!! Shake just spins around and around.

Things get under control and Shake finally comes in for a landing...

And, Carl's waiting for him, with his tire iron in hand.

Shake tells Carl all about the wonderful time he had with his pals Oglethorpe and Emory on their ship in space...

Shake wants to know what's new with Carl, so, Carl gets into the pod with the creep and shows him the finish on his tire iron, up close and personal!

LE PROCÉS - "The Trial" (1962)

 

I don't even know what to say about this week's Saturday Night Special, but I can tell you that it was written and directed by Orson Welles, based on a novel by Franz Kafka, and is called "Le Procès," or "The Trial." Other than that, you're mostly on your own!

I could sum it all up in one word, Orson Welles, but since that's two words, we'll just have to settle on weird!

"Le Procès" stars Anthony Perkins as Josef K. It was made two years after "Psycho," so Anthony was already used to acting strange!

This is where Josef K. works.

It's 1962, and you could have taken your girlfriend to see "The Brain That Wouldn't Die," or "Invasion Of The Star Creatures," but no, you had to choose "The Trial," and now she never wants to speak to you again! Nice job Chucko!

"Le Procès," is a very paranoid minute shy of being two hours long!

I think it's quite possible that a person could go insane trying to figure it all out!

Josef K. is on trial for something he doesn't even know about, but he's not taking it lying down!

He is determined to not get eaten up by the system!

There are a bevy of beauties to entice and enthrall Josef K, like Jeanne Moreau as Marika, Romy Schneider as Leni, and Elsa Martinelli as Hilda, and apparently, they are all crazier than Hell!

Josef finds some dusty old law books, and remarks about how dirty they are!

A quick peek inside reveals how really dirty they were!

Angles and bi-angles abound!

Persecution, prosecution, perversion, and paranoia! Josef K. is surrounded by it all!

Most of the film was shot in Zagreb, Croatia, but some of the scenery is from France and Italy, like this scene that was shot at the Palazzo di Giustizia, or The Palace of Justice in Rome. If you go to Zagreb today, don't forget to visit "The Museum Of Broken Relationships" which opened in 2006!

 

Orson Welles assigned himself the role of the useless but very powerful Advocate!

The artiste who paints portraits of the judges is named Titorelli, and he resides in possibly the strangest place you'll ever see. As Josef K. ascends the stairs to Titorelli's loft, he's pursed by a gaggle of presumably mad young ladies who want to get their hands on him oh so badly, but Titorelli has them all locked out!

Is any of this making any sense? I sure hope not!

 Look at the composition of this room where Titorelli lives, it would be almost impossible to be any busier!

The safe exit that avoids the girls goes right back into Josef K.'s office!

Two hours of sheer madness and you don't know why it all started, and when it's over, you're not sure where you've been!

I'm not about to go toe to toe with Franz Kafka or Orson Welles, but I will suggest that when you watch "The Trial," do not be under the influence of anything, or you just might fall down the rabbit hole and never make it back!