PAPERHOUSE - "Is Anybody There?" (1988)

This week's Saturday Night Special is a strange British film from 1988 called "Paperhouse," and if I had to guess, a lot of people in the year 2020 should be able to identify with it since it makes about as much sense as anything else!

I don't know quite what to make of this movie, I think I liked it, but I can't be quite sure about it. It's really well done, and raises a lot of questions, I'm just not exactly sure what they are, but probably something elementary, like the meaning of life!

An eleven year old girl makes a simple line drawing of a house in class.

Some hi jinks ensue in the classroom, and the young lady finds herself out in the hall.

The girl's name is Anna Madden, and she is played by Charlotte Burke.

Anna has some extra things going on inside her head.

Her teacher's not much help!

Anna has a tendency to just blank out.

And when she does, she goes to a place in her head, the house that she has drawn!

Her Mother doesn't get it, and her Father is gone all the time because of his job!

This is Anna's sketch book that has her drawing of the house in her dreams in it.

Anna is eleven in the movie, but Charlotte Burke was born in 1974, so that would have made her fourteen. In "Paperhouse," the role of Anna takes up probably 80% of the screen time, which is pretty incredible for such a young lady, and I was quite surprised when I found out that this was the only appearance Charlotte ever made.

 

 For the last nine years, Charlotte has run a successful family online business called "Lottie Nottie" that sells hand made bows and hair clips for kids

In the house in her dreams, there dwells a young man named Marc who has no use of his legs. Marc was played by Elliott Spiers, who sadly only lived to the age of twenty because he suffered a negative reaction to an anti-malaria medication that left him gravely ill.

Anna realizes that basically whatever she draws also appears in her dreams, so she attempts to provide Marc with some functional legs, and it kind of works, but not really!

Anna freaks when she finds out her Mom threw her drawing away while she was sleeping, and they have to go dig through the garbage with some impatient trash men!

Anna is very sick now, and is spending more time in her dreams. It does turn into a bit of a horror story when her Father shows up in the dream, and is apparently intent on trying to kill her and Marc.

 

Dream sequence no doubt!

 

The persecution by her Father in the dreams becomes more and more violent!

Anna's sub-conscious mind reaches out for the drawing while she is under attack in the dream, and she tears a part out of the drawing that represents her Dad.

When Marc and Anna escape the clutches of the evil man, they find an abandoned light house where they can stay.

 

The dreams have now basically stopped. Marc was a real person, a sick boy that she had never met in person, and now he has died, and Anna's parents take her on a little vacation. In the coastal town where they are staying, Anna sees the light house for real for the first time, and runs to it hoping to find Marc, but the light house door is locked and there's nobody inside leaving her lost and alone.

There is a happy ending of sorts, but you just need to see it for yourself.

I woke up to a rainbow this morning, I hope you did too!

BEANY AND CECIL In "Malice In Blunder-Land" - 1962

In today's little tale, Cecil heads out to Jollywood to try and become the next biggest thing in movies. And you probably already know how that will turn out!

Here's our hero outside the studio, checking out the fancy cars leaving the lot. The car shown is like a stylized '61 Chrysler.

Cecil is just minding his own business, when, he's grabbed by a Vaudeville hook! As it turns out, it's DJ, that dirty guy! He's a Jollywood talent agent, working out of a phone booth, and wants to represent the sea serpent! Love Cecil's hat, real hip!

To soften Cecil up, DJ shows him a map with all the hot spots, I already like Bustle Beach, there's also the Dizzy Loot Studio and the Jollywood Soup Bowl!

Since Cecil always wanted to see the stars, well, DJ hits him in the head with a huge mallet...

Next, DJ convinces our star that he needs a makeover. He starts by trimming Cecil's nose off, then he trims his mane.

And viola, the makeover is complete, he even got his teeth capped with kids' caps.

DJ gets lucky with a call, they're casting a sea serpent for a horror movie!

DJ thinks Cecil will easily get the part, it's in the bag...

The dirty guy butters up the boss before Cecil comes in, telling him that he's got exactly what Jollywood's looking for...

Once Hamhock gets a gander of the new Cecil (all he wanted was a normal looking sea serpent), it's the door in the floor to oblivion for Ceec. And, oblivion in Jollywood means.. You'll never work in this town again!!

Of course, DJ's next!

So, Cecil can't wait to get back to his pals on the Leakin' Lena after an experience like that.

We end on a happy note as things get halfway back to normal... Join us again tomorrow as we continue down that dusty Dungeon trail...

THE PROFESSIONALS - "Stakeout" (1978)

 

"The Professionals" was a super cool British TV show that was on for five seasons from 1977 to 1983, and the Weird Wednesday part is unless you live in Europe, you most likely know nothing about it, and the only DVDs available are expensive and in a mode that you need an all-regions DVD player if you want to watch them.

CI5 were a group of highly trained individuals who worked on assignments so special, they answered to no one, hence the name "The Professionals."

"Stake Out" was episode number 10, and it aired March 3, 1978.

It's kind of funny that what was considered professional in 1978 would be viewed more as totally politically incorrect by today's standards! That's a big part of what makes it so much fun to watch!

Lewis Collins as Bodie was the one who had advanced military training and fighting skills. In 1964, Lewis was the drummer in a band called The Mojos, who released a song called "Everything's All Right," a song good enough that nine years later, it was covered by David Bowie!

Sadly, Lewis Collins passed away in 2013 at the age of 67 from cancer.

 

Martin (The Golden Voyage Of Sinbad) Shaw was Doyle, the ex-policeman and the one with the street sense of this real dynamic duo.

Gordon (The Quatermass Xperiment) Jackson is George Cowley, the only person Bodie and Doyle have to answer to.

The very swingin' soundtrack was created by Laurie Johnson, the man also responsible for the music in "The Avengers," "Thriller," and much more.

In "Stakeout," the boys are sent to a bowling alley to investigate some drug dealers, but stumble onto a much bigger and more deadly scheme.

 

Most episodes of "The Professionals" include a bevy of British birds, and this one is no exception!

Believe it or don't, but references to bowling have been found in ancient Egyptian diggings dating back five thousand years. The age of modern bowling dates back to 300 AD in Germany, and speaking of Germany, it's time for another shout out to Lord Litter for this marvelous discovery!

Despite being completely out of their element, Bodie and Doyle do their best to blend in!

If you take it seriously enough, bowling can be a very frustrating and challenging game!

In all the episodes I've seen so far, it's not often you find these two in an uncompromising situation like this!

And of course there is always a colorful cast of evildoers like these two characters!

Still trying to blend in, and still failing to do so!

Luckily, the boys get a break when they confiscate the camera of some perv in the bowling alley taking random pictures like this.

Okay, this has got to be one of the greatest story lines of all time, a miniature but very powerful atomic bomb hidden in a bowling ball bag!

 

There still might be hope, if we can just get the right wire clipped!

You're Welcome!!