AMAZING STORIES - "Secret Cinema" (1986)

 Okay, tonight's Saturday Night Special is just what you'd expect it to be, a follow up to last Wednesday's "Secret Cinema," show and the remake they did in 1986 for the "Amazing Stories" TV show, Season one, Episode number 20.

 IF I ever had a chance to plan something, I would have done this one first and saved the original for the "Saturday Night Special," because as KD so succinctly commented:

"While the re-do was very slick thanks to the big Universal TV budget, alas, it lost most of its charm in the process." 

And that pretty much sums it up, except it lost it's darkness too!

 

 Paul Bartel still gets credit for the story, but the changes were written by other people. Paul also direceted this episode. Here's the new 1980's Jane, as portrayed by Penny Peyser! At the same time, she was one of the stars of an ongoing TV show called "Crazy Like A Fox."

 This Dick was played by Griffin (An American Werewolf In London) Dunne!

 The setup for this story is not nearly as dark and mysterious as the original, instead, Jane's life is more like one big "live" sit-com, with real Three Stooges action like an overflowing refrigerator, and lots of pies to the face!

 The adorable Eve Arden gets the role of Jane's Mother. Eve was Connie Brooks on the very popular 1950's TV show, "Our Miss Brooks," that ran for two years, and 130 episodes, and that was followed by "The Eve Arden Show," for the next two years and 26 more episodes!

 I love Mary Woronov!
She was in ten movies with Paul Bartel, and my favorite of them all is "Get Crazy!"
For some unexplainable reason, IMDB only credits Mary Woronov with being the nurse in this show!

 But just like Mimi Randolph, Mary not only plays the nurse, she plays the waiter who was a waitress in the original........

.......And the cashier..........

 .......And Dick's lover!!

 

 Jane once again makes her way to the theatre that doesn't exist!

 Do you ever feel like you're living your life one episode to the next? 

Well, for Jane, it was true!

 Who knew Executive Producer Steven Spielberg liked pie so much?

Certainly not Sweet Jane!

 It's fascinating how they decide to use the exact same shot, but reverse it for some reason!

 In this version, Jane's show has a real producer, and he's ready for it to be over, and he wants blood, so Jane's Doctor tells her she needs to act out on her anger and shoot Dick, and so she does!

 Here's an extra role for Mary Woronov that Mimi Randolph didn't have, she and Paul show up at the crime scene as cops!

 All right everybody, that's a wrap, and they start taking down and changing out the set immediately, and Jane is like just WTF!? is going on around here. In a matter of seconds she's shot her ex but he's okay, and finds out that the last six months of her life was all fake, and filmed!

 Since this is a big and bright 1986 success story instead of a 1968 cheapass indie production, it was deemed that there should be a happy ending I guess!

 Paul and Mary end up with a Caddy full of garbage!

You know if I didn't know the 1968 version existed, I would probably have been perfectly fine with this version, just because it's Paul and Mary, but really, this version is lacking Peter and balls by comparison!
The original "Secret Cinema" kind of reminded me of "Daughter Of Horror" the movie onscreen in "The Blob," and the difference between this one and the 60's version, is kind of like comparing "The Blob," to the 1972 version "Beware! The Blob." It doesn't work, so just enjoy them each for what they are, and you'll have a good time!

CAVEMAN COMEDY / Richard Olson: Monster Kid Home Movies - 1962

Welp, today we gots another installment of Monster Kid Home Movies, this time it's a 3 minute flick from 1962. What could be more fun than to dress up as cave kids and run around like maniacs on a warm summer afternoon, with your 8mm camera in tow...

I had to make these little knuckle draggers a title card for this one.

Here we come.. Walking down the street.. We wanna stomp.. Every monster we meet!.. Hey, hey, were The Cavies!

This little buck toothed guy has a freakin' sledge hammer!! That looks like Fred Flintstone there in the background.

Anyway, they love to jump around in the tall grass and pound dinosaurs!!

OH NO!.. It's the dreaded Tiger Kid!

So, they beat the crap outta Tiger Kid and drag him away! In the top photo, it looks like some neighbor kid got in the shot by mistake because that's definitely not official cave kid attire.

I guess Tiger Kid ist kaput? But, a cute lil' kitty makes a cameo appearance!

Now get ready for this!.. There's a kid inside that box, making for the weirdest dinosaur I've seen in quite a while! What a hoot!..

Wow, what a mess this shot is!

So, the big cave kid goes up against the little cave kid and knocks him on his keister! I just cannot stop laughing at that second photo!

OOPSIES!!..

Poor little guy never even got to see a dentist before he died in the line of cave duty!

So, a real snake makes its way onto the set, and like a bunch of stupid kids, they just head for the hills! After all, this is supposed to be a comedy!

At least I didn't have to make this for them!.. Tune in tomorrow for something Eegah!! will have for us, here, at The Dungeon!..

THE SECRET CINEMA - Paul Bartel (1968)

I've got a real special Weirdo Wednesday feature for you tonight, a movie I knew nothing about until yesterday, and I think it is one of the most interesting movies I've seen lately! "The Secret Cinema" was written, directed, and produced by funny guy Paul Bartel in 1968, and if I was teaching a film class, this would be mandatory viewing!

To start off with, "The Secret Cinema" is only 30 minutes long, which I think is a perfect length for a film since I have a short attention span! Get in there, don't waste any time, and get it done! IMDB says the estimated budget was only $5000.00. Today, people can't even make a 30 second commercial for that amount of money!

The star of the show is Amy Vane as Jane in her only acting credit ever, and she does a freaking amazing job!

Jane's beau is obviously named Dick, and of course, he is one too!

Dick is played by Paul ( Fall To Rise) Carlson.

Hard to imagine, but this was all that you needed in 1968, a radio, a phone (Not a mini-computer, but a phone) and something to drink!

Connie Ellison as Helen is Jane's best friend. This was also Connie's only credit!

1968 with a black woman in a strong lead role, Paul Bartel was an innovator no doubt!

I sure wish Paul hadn't passed away 20 years ago so I could ask him some questions about how and where he came up with these women.

In a nutshell, here's the deal! 

Jane is in a movie of her daily life that she doesn't know anything about, but all the other characters in the movie do. They film her every move, and then screen the movies at a local theatre and have a good laugh, all at Jane's expense. In this scene, Jane's Mom spills the beans that she can't wait to see the next episode and find out what happens to her daughter, but it goes right over Jane's head! In the meantime, the krazy waitress brings her a meal she didn't order!

Jane is in the lady's room when she hears a couple of girls talking about her life! At this point she's really starting to wonder what is going on!

Helen talks Jane into going out with her repugnant boss, and gets her all dolled up for the occasion!

They go out to a dance club where the music is being played by The Rusty Nails.

Jane finally finds the theatre where her life is on display, but they won't let her in because she is not a member and doesn't have a ticket!

A truly marvelous Mimi Randolph plays the cashier, the waitress, and the nurse!!!

Mimi showed back up in 1994 to be on one episode of "Law And Order."

The next showing will be the last!

Jane runs away from the theatre in terror after seeing all her friends and family leaving the movie!

She sleeps out on the sidewalk that night, and when she comes to, the theatre apparently is now a super market, and Jane thinks she's losing her mind, so she heads on over to talk to the only person she trusts, her Psychiatrist !

Barry Dennen as Jane's shrink was the most experienced actor on the set. He was Fred in the "Batman" TV show, and among other things was doing cartoon voices since the 80's. From about 1995 until 2016, Barry did tons and tons of voices for video games like "Infinity Blade III," and "Heavenly Sword."

In 1986, the TV show "Amazing Stories" did a remake of "The Secret Cinema" and Paul Bartel played the role of the Psychiatrist. To make it even better, Barry Dennen was in that episode too, but in a different role, and Mary Woronov had the role of the nurse!

The jig is up. The Doctor is running the whole show!

I still can't hardly believe this was Amy Vane's only role ever, because she was just really good!

Poor Jane! There's no happy ending for her!

Jane ends up in straitjacket city, and Helen starts demanding that she needs a bigger piece of the action because she played such a large role in Jane's demise!

As the camera backs out and we see the theatre audience, we now know that Helen is getting played, and is unknowingly the star of the next movie!!

What a great little film, and guess what, you can watch it for free at

The Internet Archive!
And I suggest that you do!