MERRIE MELODIES / "The Bashful Buzzard" - 1945

After a month of battling a cold, I require humor, humor I tells ya'... So, here's a super classic WB cartoon directed by Bob Clampett, one I'm sure we all remember. It stars that goofy Beaky Buzzard and his family in this hilarious tale...

Here's Momma buzzard giving her little ones a pep talk before they head out to find something to have for supper.

Beaky is so damn bashful, he just doesn't want to join his brothers in the hunt, well, until mom boots him in the rear end and sends him on his way!

There's quite a difference between Beaky and his brothers' intensity over the hunt.

So, Beaky brings back zilch, causing mom to slap him around a little bit, trying to knock some sense into him!

After Beaky sees his bros bring back some sheep, he tries his hand at the task...

He zooms in for the kill but makes a huge mistake, and gets a bunch of bumps on top of his head for the effort.

His brothers are kicking A in the hunting department, and even bring back an elephants or two!

Beaky's bringing back a baby bumble bee! He's so proud of himself until Daddy bumble bee comes along and finds out that Beaky is responsible for the problem!

After getting stung in the rear, Beaky tries to cool things off a bit. Suddenly, Shorty shows up and laughs at Beaky, because it's funny...

After sizing things up, Beaky punches Shorty right in the mush!

Beaky tries to manhandle the dragon, well, until Shorty's had enough!!..

Mom calls out for her missing baby... Keeler, come home!!

A little beat up, Beaky shows up. Mom lectures him once again, he never, ever brings home even one morsel of food for the family. What sa'matta with my leetle-a Keeler?!

As it turns out, Beaky finally brings home something for the pot... We're back tomorrow as we wind down this decade, Lord help us all...

MAX HEADROOM - "Merry Christmas, Santa Claus" (1985)

I don't know what to say on this Christmas Day 2019, so I'll just let Max Headroom say it for me!

It was 34 years ago in 1985 when Max brought out this video as an homage to the big guy himself!

And the sentiment is still true to this day!
Now it's a staple on everybody's Christmas list!

"Ding, Dong, Ding!"

"Merry Christmas Santa Claus, you're a lovely guy!

And here's a little gift from Max and me!..."And to all a good night!"

"Merry, Merry, Merry Christmas, Santa Claus!" - Max Headroom

THE OUTER LIMITS / "Corpus Earthling" Season 1 Episode 9 - 1963

What's XMAS without some Outer Limits!.. That's what I always say. So, here is a very depressing episode from the first season, and, it goes like this... A parasitic advance guard from outer space strives to kill a physician because he's the only human who can hear them communicate because of a metal plate in his head. The physician believes he's gone insane because he first heard the aliens right after suffering a concussion in a lab explosion. His wife, the laboratory assistant, comforts him while the lab's geologist is targeted for takeover by the parasites.

This one stars Robert Culp, who played tennis bum Kelly Robinson on I SPY, a show I loved back in the day. Salome Jens plays Robert's wife, she was the crazy looking gal from the future in TERROR FROM THE YEAR 5000, what Eegah!! and I saw around 1960 at the theater. It also stars Barry (THE INVADERS) Atwater, Ken (KILLER DILLER) Renard and David (TRAUMA) Garner.

Here's Laurie Cameron in the lab, she's putting up some new rock samples for study.

After an explosion, Paul Cameron is dazed, he claims to have heard some alien voices discussing the plans for an invasion of Earth! But like, you know,.. What, The, HELL!!

The other person at the lab, Dr. Temple, and Laurie, surmise that the metal plate in Paul's head (he was wounded in WWII) could have served as a receiver (they actually believe him!).

But later, Paul starts hearing the voices again, and, he becomes hypnotized and is ordered to jump out of a third story window!! He's barely saved from the fall.

After Paul and Laurie leave, and have decided on a vacation in Mexico, one rock transforms into a slimy parasite and attacks Dr. Temple. It isn't long before the thing takes over his body.

And now, he looks like this!!.. The thing knows what it has to do.

Pant, phew... It's hot and sultry in Mexico this time of year you know... hubba hubba!

And guess who shows up to ruin all the fun while Paul's away?.. Doh! Stupid question!

Well, it's not long before Laurie becomes a victim, and, it ain't pretty! I have to tell you, this episode is a real horror fest, and, it gets worse!

So, Paul returns to his adored wife and is greeted by THIS!.. He makes a hasty retreat and disappears into the city to hide from the invaders.

W!.. T!!.. F!!!..

Blind shadows is one of my fondest memories from the fifties!

Now back at the ranch, Paul has to fend off the thing's attack and ends up stabbing it with a scalpel, killing Dr. Temple and releasing the parasite. That second still is pretty damn freaky!

Anyway, here's the deal... Paul ends up shooting his 'wife' to destroy both parasites with fire. He carries his dead wife to the car as the narrator bids us adieu with a dire warning, watch out for monsters!! Happy Holidays Ever'bloody! Later!..

DAS RASTHAUS DER GRAUSAMEN PUPPEN - "Inn Of The Gruesome Dolls" (1967)

 If there is such a thing as an Über-clusterfuck, then this Saturday Night Special is one of the leader's in it's class!

  Auf Deutsch es ist "Das Rasthaus Der Grausamen Puppen," or as you see it translated here, "The Roadhouse Of The Violent Dolls," aka "The Inn Of Gruesome Dolls," and it was even released as "The Devil's Girls" at one point.

The basic story line is pretty simple! It's about a Bonnie and Clyde type botched robbery! It's after this that it gets out of control!

 The Bonnie in question is Essy Persson as Betty Williams, a woman caught up in a world she didn't create. Her boyfriend just ran over a cop, crashed the car, and took off running, leaving Betty behind to take the rap! The big problem is that despite it all, she still loves him!

 Betty gets sentenced to ten years in the Pen, when all she was doing was waiting in the car for her boyfriend!

 The seductive Ellen (The Invisible Terror, The Brain) Schwiers is the Superintendent at the prison with the unfortunate name of Francis Nipple.

 Superintendent Nipple has Betty Williams brought to her room for some fun and games, but Betty doesn't swing that way, and ends up shanking her instead!

Betty's whole life just took an even bigger turn for the würst!

 Betty now has to escape, and a handful of other girls go with her!

 Karin (Night Of The Vampires, Web Of The Spider, The Demons) Field has the role of the hot sexpot!! The rest of the girls are Dominique (The Unnaturals, Argoman) Boschero as Sylvia, Gabriella (Transplant, Seven Blood-Stained Orchids) Giorgelli as Esther, and Helga (Murderers Club Of Brooklyn) Anders as the innocent one, Linda.

Still not realizing what a scumbag he is, Betty tracks down her former flame who is totally aghast to see her. She is now going to proceed to totally destroy his life with her undying love.

Erik Schumann is big loser Bob Fishman. Erik was very popular in Germany during the 50's and 60's but barely even heard of in the U.S.

As I watched "Das Rasthaus Der Grausamen Puppen," I couldn't help but think about another German film with a bunch of half dressed women running around in it, "Ein Toter Hing Im Netz," better known as "The Horrors Of Spider Island."

Betty's got more problems than drinking too much wine will fix!

Bob Fishman is such a horndog, that even after telling Betty he loves her, he's caught in the sack with one of the girls in just a few hours after they first meet!

Bob apologizes and they go to bed to make up, but for some reason, Betty just cannot get into the mood! Go figure! At this point, she's already killed two or three people to get to this lovely place in her life!

Besides all the wanton tragedy, there are also a few scenes of comedy relief, as they try and hide all the dead bodies!

Essy Ingeborg Vilhelmina Persson was born in Sweden. In the 1980's she quit acting and went to art school, and became a visual artist! Essy had a very distinctive look, and is well known for her work as Siv in "I, A Woman," and "Cry Of The Banshee" with Vincent Price.

One year later after "Das Rasthaus Der Grausamen Puppen," was made, Essy was Thora in "Mission Stardust."

What a difference a year makes!!

That is a real good question! By this point, besides Inspector Nipple, Betty has shot the old Funeral Director who was nice enough to give them a lift, and she's shot the innkeeper who was nice enough to let them stay, and the local gossip fell out of a second story window, trying to get away from her.

And this guy, who has been in the middle of the whole mess, and not noticed a thing is a real fine example of how this film rolls!

 That was the big problem throughout the whole thing. Nobody really cared that the girls were escaped convicts, and everybody tried to help them, but they end up killing them all anyway!

This guy got lucky, and it's only a flesh wound!

Betty never gets it right from start to finish. The only time she was innocent was at the beginning of the film, but it's never too late. Eventually, Bob Fishman and her will spend eternity together.....
in Hell!