ZORGON THE H-BOMB BEAST FROM HELL - Kevin Fernan (1972)

We've been doing this blog for a little over eight years now, and you honestly wouldn't believe what we've had to do to track down all these movies, but thanx to great friends and associates from all over the place like Brian over at The Trash Palace, The Cult Action Team, Michael Jaffé and Darren from jolly old England, Professor Grewbeard, and Greg Goodsell, we've presented the most diverse set of hard-to-find films and TVshows ever, but yet, there are always those elusive titles that we've had on lists for years that never turn up! In fact, here's a couple of titles we're seeking that I'm not even sure exist anywhere, things like "Andy Warhol's Batman Dracula" from 1964, "Bongowolf's Revenge" from 1970, "Ugly Duckling" (an early Hammer Jekyll and Hyde), and the ever mysterious "Curse Of The Moon Child!" But the reason I'm  telling you this is because I just took one film off of the list today, and I just happened to stumble on it on YouTube of all places while looking for something else! The internet can truly be an amazing place when used improperly!

I had no idea that "Zorgon The H-Bomb Beast From Hell" was a silent (hence no sound clip), student-made, short film! All I knew before a couple of days ago was that it was a cool title, that was awfully difficult to locate!

Bam! The two slain kids were the two in the picture above! At just a little over nine minutes, there's not a lot of room for small talk here!

 The copy you'll find to watch on the internet is right about here on YouTube!

The person who posted the film named Rosebud added some music and sound effects to make it a little more watchable! They also felt a need to put on this disclaimer at the beginning, "Due to my strong personal convictions, I wish to stress that this film in no way endorses a belief in the occult!" 

Okay! Sure! No Problem!

The intertitle cards were each a stand alone shot, but I added them as captions to save some room here!

Interesting set! Money might have been a factor!

Sharp lookin' V Dub!!

Director Kevin Fernan is the first on-screen victim of the wrath of the beast!

ZORGON!!

These two action shots actually make this movie look pretty good!

Although this was a one-time outing for Director Kevin Fernan, some of these people in the monster hunting posse had and/or went on to have real careers in movie making like Jim (Outer Limits, Equinox) Danforth, and Mark Thomas (Equinox, Bad Girls From Mars) McGee!

This is Ace (The Return Of Swamp Thing, Transylvania Twist) Mask, and Susan (Conan The Barbarian, The Thing) Turner as the posse organizer and his wife!

Looks like a cowboy with elongated arms to me!

Oh, No! Zorgon has got the girl!

A massive battle ensues between Ace Mask and Zorgon!

And then Zorgon is unmasked, and it turns out that it was just one of the guys, David (Laserblast, The Stuff) Allen the whole time!

The monster is put to rest in the most appropriate way possible!

I can only assume that  since Jim Danforth, Susan Turner, and David Allen all ended up having quite respectable jobs in visual effects and animation, that maybe they all contributed to the look that can only be described as "Zorgon The H-Bomb Beast From Hell!"
Next Stop, Halloween Countdown 2015!!

TARANTULAS: The Deadly Cargo / Alan Landsburg Productions - 1977

Welp, here's a TV movie about an airplane carrying coffee beans from South America that has some creepy little stowaways, you know, the title... Tarantulas!! The plane crashes near an orange-producing town in California and the cargo of poisonous spiders escape, causing much tumult, screams and death... Like, in the poster!

I have a sound clip for your approval, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button located there by our tarantula cage, NOW, Ralphie The Tarantula!.. Here's a little sample from... TARANTULAS: The Deadly Cargo!

Here's the classic plane carrying the deadly cargo, a good old DC-3 Gooney Bird...

But, during the flight, a bunch of the tarantulas escape from their bags and bite the Hell out of all the crew members.

The plane crashes and the locals in the agricultural community go out to survey the situation.

It stars Claude Akins, owner of the local packing warehouse. He's out there with the rest of the stars milling around... Claude played a lot of sheriffs in his career, he was also General Aldo in BATTLE FOR THE PLANET OF THE APES.

Pat Hingle plays the doctor, another familiar face from the world of TV.

This dude arrives to show off his new CAT cap when one of the little critters sez, hey!

The tarantulas are loose in the countryside and trying to get friendly with some of the girls!

Here's a shot for Eegah!! His first job back in the early sixties was working at a potato packing house... Looks like it's break time!!

Anywho, the guys risk their lives to get rid of the tarantulas from the warehouse. Get this, apparently, the little pests are rendered motionless by the transmitted sound of buzzing bees!

WILL IT WORK??!.. Tune in again on Wednesday when we submit our last post for September!

I CLOWNS - Federico Fellini (1970)

 I first saw "The Clowns" in an art theatre back in the 70's, and many years later I bought a VHS copy of it, but I never had any way to share it until now. After I got about half way through thinking about writing this, I found out that these days it streams on Amazon Prime!

 Go figure!

It's so weird what streams on Amazon and Netflix and what doesn't! Just when I think everything is out there, I look for something mainstream that I want to watch, and nobody streams it, and then I'll find movies like this that I thought nobody knows about, and it's readily available! Whatever, either way, if you've got a Prime account, and you want to watch something really interesting, then I do suggest you go and check out "The Clowns!!"

"The Clowns" was a TV movie made by Federico Fellini, and might just be the first film I ever saw that was a movie about making a movie, a film inside a film!

 Pretty hard to ignore the fact that the circus is in town when they pitch the tent right outside your front door!

 The circus was full of an odd manner of freaks!

 And then there were "The Clowns!!"

 The boy at the beginning of the film was Federico Fellini, and his Mom had to take him back home from the circus because the clowns scared him. What he didn't like the most was that they looked like all the weirdos of many ilks that inhabited his village, the freaks, the drunks, the homeless, and the military!

 So Fellini decides to make a documentary about clowns!

Did I tell you this movie was insane? Here's the beautiful starlet Anita Ekberg in a cameo as a rich woman who wants to buy a panther!

I'm assuming it's a statement of some kind!

 Tristan Remy was an actual authority on clowns, and the author of a book entitled "Clown Scenes!"

 The white hat is what distinguishes this style of clowns from all the others! This type of clown was called the white clown! The rest of their outfit could be almost anything, but they always wore the white hat!

When Fellini gathers a group of white clowns together to discuss the roots and history of their act, the first thing they do, is get into a big argument! These clowns take their clownmanship very seriously!

In the not too distant future, clowns will probably end up to be a totally forgotten commodity! They are violent, and there is almost nothing sacred to them! Clowns make fun of everybody and everything, and that is just not going to be acceptable in the modern PC world! The clown lawsuits will be endless, because nobody can take a joke anymore without being offended!

Beautiful! The circus has it's own building! In Bakersfield, there's a round building like this called The Dome that has concerts in it these days, but it was originally called "Strongbow Stadium," and was built in the 50's specifically to host another set of professional clowns, big time wrasslers! They were that popular!

Charlie Chaplin's daughter Victoria makes a brief cameo appearance as herself, and why not?

Real clowns decorate their homes with more clown stuff!

The mockumentary parts of the film are quite enlightening!

Real clowns chose to perform for anybody and everybody............

.............including Prisons, Madhouses, and Mental Hospitals!

The interviews with all the clowns are brilliant!

The movie ends with one big crazy clown funeral to celebrate the death of the clown!
Here's just a partial list of some of the many real clowns that grace this film with their presence!
BILLI, SCOTTI, FANFULLA, RIZZO, FURIA, REDER, VALENTINI, MERLI, COLOMBAIONI, MARTANA, MAGGIO, SBARRA, CARINI, TERZO, VINGELLI, FUMAGALLI, ZERBINATI, JANIGRO, MAUNSELL, PEVERELLO, SORRENTINO, VALDEMARO, and BEVILACQUA!

One of my favourite parts is toward the end, when this interviewer asks Fellini this poignant question!! "What is the message?"

In true clown style, the answer is a bucket that comes down out of nowhere and lands squarely on Fellini's head!

 If you'd like to see the biggest collection of creepy clown posters that I've ever seen, then go right here to this website called "Why I Fear Clowns!" 
Wow!
The circus music and the beautiful trumpet duet from the end credits were written by the prolific Nino Roto who was a frequent contributor to Fellini's film works! Here's but a small taste of the man's talents!