BABY BOTTLENECK - Warner Brothers Studios (1946)

"Baby Bottleneck!" Need I say more?

The Stork Club was a nightclub in Manhattan, New York City, which during its existence from 1929 to 1965 was one of the most prestigious clubs in the world according to Wikipedia!

The combination of alcohol and the job of delivering all the babies in the world is not that great of a match!  As you can see, the stress levels are running very high!

The great thing about this cartoon is that I don't have to explain anything, it's all written out in black and white!

Welcome to the future! Incompetent help is very easy to come by these days!

 

 The temporary help can't seem to get anything right!

No shit! As you will see, the mistakes are a bit worse than slight'! (Read the fine print! "No Exchanges Will Be Made!)

A baby skunk delivered to a duck!

A baby gorilla delivered to a kangaroo!

And a baby cat delivered to it's new parent, a mouse!

Yeah, Sure, Porky will get everything straightened up all right!

Especially since he has incredibly competent help like Daffy Duck!

Here's what happens when Daffy Duck gets involved!

Porky tries to get Daffy to sit on and hatch an egg!

It doesn't go well!

For either of them!

Porky and Daffy get all wrapped up together in a diaper and delivered to a Mother in Africa! My place of employment is also almost this efficient!

That's almost all folks!

Is it just a coincidence that the babyeating festival known as Krampusfest is celebrated at The Bottleneck in Lawrence, Kansas?  Maybe not!

LOST IN SPACE: The Raft / Irwin Allen Productions - 1965

Here's my last post for the month, it comes in the form of an adventure in space, the lost kind... Enjoy kids!

This story starts with the robot ready to launch one of Will's little experiments, kind of a message in a bottle shot into space... Lame!! Great shot though.

Will and Penny watch the fun from the safety of the ship...

After the launch, bro and sis go outside to see if the little rocket made it out of the atmosphere. It comes tumbling down after it explodes and dad steps in to save them with a force field!!.. What?!!

I have a sound clip for your approval, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button located there by our rocket piggy bank, NOW, Ralphie The Tarantula!.. Here's a little sample from... THE RAFT!

You only have to watch a few of these episodes to see what a total jerk Dr. Smith is, it's always something with him.

And, here's a portrait of the selfish little doctor as he overthinks some simple problem.

Jeez guys!! Learn how to read your gauges, cripes!

Major West is putting the final touches on their 2-man space craft, aka The Raft. Gee, I wonder what Will has in mind here?..

Right, he and Dr. Smith decide to take the craft into space and look for Earth... Oh sure!

Dr. Smith thinks he's found the Earth and so they land on the planet.

This thing is just standing there watching the two wander around aimlessly. I don't think this is Earth Dr. Smith, you freakin' moron!

Of course, Professor Robinson and the gang have to track them down and dad shoots the poor bush monster in the back, bringing this adventure to an abrupt end...

But, wouldn't you know it, the crew encounters a meteor storm and sets up next week's episode. Check in Wednesday for more from... The Dungeon!!

BABY LOVE - Katch-22 (1968)

Greg Goodsell here after a lengthy absence ... What we have on deck here is BABY LOVE (1968) a slick and SICK bit of sexploitation with more than just a teaspoon of psychological horror added. It manages to cram in promiscuity, lesbianism, madness, murder and more than just a hint of incest to lather up the narrative. 

Eegah!! and Tabonga! like to keep the Dungeon squeaky clean, so be forewarned that this entry has plenty of strictly adult material!  You have been warned!

Here we go! BABY LOVE opens with a bang with the once-lovely DIANA DORS --  Britain's answer to Marilyn Monroe at one time, slits her wrists in a hot bath! The British public dearly loved Diana, and kept her around even when she packed on a few extra pounds! She's under-used here and has no lines to speak of! Dors plays the heroine's poor, working class mum -- 

 Luci, played by future Hammer horror great LINDA HAYDEN, is too busy giving her classmates lessons in French kissing that she's unaware of mom's final, fatal bubble bath!

 So, here is the situation: A former flame of Dors, wealthy doctor Robert (Keith Barron) feels a twinge of guilt after her suicide and decides to take Luci in. He vehemently denies being Luci's dad, but why do you suppose he feels all generous so long after the fact?

 

Ann Lynn, a very conflicted woman and the wife of Robert, vows to be the best stepmom to Luci imaginable, showering her with lots of love. Watch this space...

 

 Luci soon ingratiates herself into her new family's mansion, but is soon beset by all manner of night terrors! Luci is hiding a secret concerning herself, her mom and her mom's lover....

 Here is the part of the movie I don’t get: Luci takes to her stepbrother Nick (Derek Lamden) in a big way, but they appear to go on a series of what appear to be romantic “dates” that all end rather badly!

 

 For example, the two take in a movie preceded by a documentary short on Britain's meat industry. A greasy old perv fondles her in the theater! Bleah!

 

And ol' Nick likes to spy on Luci when she's naked! Is Luci the victim or the villainess?

In the meantime, Luci's stepmom makes moves on her that call to mind an ancient Greek island and a famed poetess who once wrote "A rose is a rose is a rose ..."

Luci dolls herself up for a night on the town!

 Nick and Luci take in a rather sophisticated nightclub (Luci is supposed to be only 15 at the time) with smoking, drinking, and a hot blues combo! Nick becomes infuriated when Luci talks and then sits next to a black man to stare blankly into space with him! Another sister-brother date ends terribly!

 

Luci grooves to the sounds of "Katch 22" immortalized in this sound clip here --

In a flashback, we see Luci confronting her mum and her burly lover in the sack! It appears that mom's lover took turns with daughter as well! Oh, the depravity!

Stanley Kubrick's timeless nymphet LOLITA (1962) is invoked in this sultry shot and Luci begins to make moves on the family's pathetic “Claire Quilty”-like friend.

Yes, the dusty old codger feeds Luci champagne. Liquor is quicker! Her step family expresses indifference at poolside!

All this stepmom bonding has to end sometime! Stop it at once!

In what is presumed to be the movie's climax, Nick and Luci come against a snotty rowing team whilst boating at a nearby park. Things get heated, and we think that BOTH Nick and Luci will wind up being raped  ... but nothing happens!

 Things start to go south over the course of a lazy afternoon. Stepdad attempts to rape Luci -- but she slashes his face with a fork!

 Stepbrother Nick likewise attempts some action with Luci --- but uh, winds up "all washed up."

We'll be honest with you -- BABY LOVE is a bit of a mess. One of the characters is killed at one point and the surviving characters are too wrapped up in going to a formal dinner party to pay it any mind! However, the story of an interloper breaking into a complacent middle-class family would be ridden to greater success by Pier Paolo Pasolini's TEORAMA the very same year in 1968! Hayden would later slap on some memorable eyebrows and major attitude and branch off into horror icon territory as the devil cult leader in BLOOD ON SATAN'S CLAW in 1971! This is Greg Goodsell -- over and out until next time!