GOTHIC / Virgin Vision - 1986

Thanks for checking in... We have a story about the night that Mary Shelley conceived her horror classic, FRANKENSTEIN, during drug induced games with her friends on a rainy night at Lord Byron's country estate. Ghost stories are told, personal horrors are revealed and the madness of the evening runs from sexual fantasy to nightmare.

I've got a little sound clip from this movie for your approval, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button over by our story telling pit, NOW, Rufus The Gnat!.. Here's a tangy taste of... GOTHIC!

To me, the story is about rich people having too much money and time on their hands.

This is Lord Byron's roomy mansion in England where friends gather for a night of debauchery.

After a nice meal, it's time to start the fun and games with Lord Byron getting things going.

I swear, if The Dungeon had a staircase like this, it would really increase its real estate value!

Once upon a time there was a stinky antisocial dude that lived in a small cave outside of town, his name was The Creep... He only came out at night, dressed in black with shades... His only friends were two rotting decapitated heads from his victims he kept as trophies near his bed in the cave. He named them Shorty and Lil' Buddy for laffs... One night, he was in a foul mood...

The night wouldn't be complete without a séance, now, would it?! Nice shots.

It wouldn't be much of a horror flick without this token skull, I'm thinking.

Looks like poor Mary is not having a such a great time giving birth to Frankenstein!

Lookit here, now!.. That Lord Freakin' Byron guy is totally out of control!!

There's lots of fun stuff going on after they move the party to the nether regions of the cellar. There's this nude spider girl running around scaring the kids!

I threw in this shot because it just looks wild 'n' weird.

The night ends with a thrilling lighting storm and attempted suicide.

So, whose up for some fresh baked ham?.. Eegah!! invades the place again tomorrow, so, if I were you, I'd be there or be a square! That's what I always say...

ONE GIRL'S CONFESSION - Hugo Haas - "The Kind Of Girl Every Man Wants" (1953)

1953 was a simpler time, and tonight's feature titled "One Girl's Confession" is a simple movie I have to confess, and I'm not even a girl! Welcome to the midweek 'It's Time To Pay' version of The Dungeon!

I bought this DVD to see Cleo Moore, and instead I ended up finding out everything there was about Hugo Haas instead, who was a most interesting character! Hugo wrote, acted in, directed, and produced "One Girl's Confession!" The man had cajones!

What can I say? This is such a classic woman on a beach shot, even if it is phoney as Hell!

The fantasy is over and now it's time to get to work!

The music in this movie was written by Václav Divina, and if you listen to this clip, you'll hear all the guys whistling and catcallin' when Cleo enters the scene! She's a waitress in this dump! Her name is Mary Adams, and she's late for work!

The boorish local patrons just can't seem to keep their hands off of her, but Mary is a good gal, and she just takes it all in stride!

Mary's employer (Leonid Snegoff) is an ass, but he's been taking care of her for a long time, ever since her Dad died, but she also knows that he responsible for robbing her Father of a great deal of money!

This is the way we're all gonna be taking baths in the near future in California unless something happens pretty damn quick!

Then one night Mary decides to take things into her own hands, and she steals the cash box from the old man, and the twenty-five thousand dollars inside it!

Mary hides the money, and when she is confronted by the police, she confesses to the whole thing, except, she won't tell them where she hid the money! She's sentenced to something like ten years, but she's so damn cheerful and nice, she gets out in just a couple of years!

The old place is gone, so Mary spots a 'waitress wanted' sign in another dive, and asks the owner, an obsessive gambler, for a job!! The owner's name is Dragomie Damitrof, and he's played by the man of the hour, Hugo Haas!

In the 'Life's Just Not Fair' department, Cleouna Moore died of a heart attack at the age of 48!

Hugo was a comedic character actor who decided he wanted to be calling all the shots later in his career, and he's pretty damn good at it!

Dragomie's main squeeze is a gal called Smooch! Smooch is played by Helene Stanton in her first big screen role! She went on to be in "Jungle Moon Men," and "The Phantom From 10,000 Leagues!" While she pretends to doze off here, when Dragomie's not looking, she's grabbing bills, and stuffing them in her top!

Mary's frustrated suitor is a fisherman named Johnny played by Glenn (HANGOVER SQUARE,  THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN, MUTINY IN OUTER SPACE) Langan! Glenn didn't just have a bit part in "The Amazing Colossal Man," he was "The Amazing Colossal Man!"

So Dragomie lost all his money and the bar in a card game, vaguely reminiscent of "Carnival Rock, so Mary, being the nice person that she is, tells him where she buried the money! He comes back all frustrated and tells her that he couldn't find it! A couple of days later, he's back in business, partying in the penthouse, and Mary is like WTF!? I liked this guy, I tried to help him because he helped me, and now he's ripped me off!

Mary sits outside of Dragomie's apartment and watches all the partying silhouettes on the shade!

Hugo's like Hell Yeah, I wrote, directed, and produced this film, and I'm going to enjoy myself!

This shot is just so silly I had to use it! When all the partygoers are gone, Mary goes into Drag's room to confront him, but he's so drunk, he's barely conscious! He grabs onto her, and in an attempt to get away, she clocks him in the head with an empty champagne bottle, and as far as she can tell, he's dead!

I'd have a cool lamp like that in my home, but my wife would divorce me!

As it turns out, Drag wasn't dead, and he also didn't steal Mary's money! He had won it all back the following night in another card game, so it's pretty much a happy ending for everybody, except that Mary gave her money away to an orphanage by mistake, but at least she's still got Johnny!

"One Girl's Confession" is just one of four films on this two DVD set called "Bad Girls Of Film Noir Volume 2!" I swear I got a copy for under ten bucks a couple of months ago on Amazon, and now it's $22.00, but I see they have used copies for under $10.00 in case you're interested!

EVIL DEAD II / Renaissance Pictures - 1987

Okay, we've already reviewed THE EVIL DEAD and will review ARMY OF DARKNESS somewhere down the line, so, here's part two! This time, Ash takes his girlfriend to that cabin in the woods where he plays back a professor's tape recorded recitation of passages from the Book of the Dead, and, all HELL breaks out! When the professor's daughter and others show up at the cabin it turns into an all night bloody comic battle against a big pile of grotesque monsters.

We have a sound clip from this insanity, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button located there by our bloody bilge pump, NOW, Ralphie The Tarantula!.. Here's... EVIL DEAD II!

Here's a nice miniature of the creepy bridge Ash and his girlfriend have to cross to get to the cabin. Later, when Ash tries to escape from the deadly force, the bridge is destroyed and a big metal and wood monster hand forces him to... GO BACK TO THE CABIN!!

After being killed, his girlfriend returns as a head on the body of a moldy old corpse!

Ash has to fight off his evil double but ends up choking himself instead!

The professor's daughter shows up with her boyfriend and others, she's so pissed about some missing pages of the book that they all throw Ash into the cellar!

But, it isn't long until boyfriend becomes a boyfiend needing to see a dentist and dermatologist!

Nice shot showing one of the pages of illustrations in the Book Of The Dead!

The fun and laffs just never stop, it doesn't matter if you're outside or if you're inside.

Wow, this shot is just awesome! Bruce has an impressive 116 acting credits with 5 new movies or TV series currently in production. Get this, just announced, a new TV series starring Bruce named... ASH vs. EVIL DEAD!! Can't wait!

It's always something, jeez, take a look at this thing he has to go up against next!

Two great shots, first, the monster trees close in on the cabin, then, a time vortex appears!

With all the crazy things going on, Ash has to also fend off this giant killer tree demon!

Eventually, Ash gets pulled into the vortex and goes on a wild 'n' weird rollercoaster ride.

So, Ash is dropped off in 1300 A.D and becomes the leader of a group of fighters who must battle the.. ARMY OF DARKNESS! We're back on Wednesday with another wild flick for you...