THE THING WITH TWO HEADS / Saber Productions - 1972

Welcome to Friday Night Drive-In with Tabonga, here at The Dungeon!.. Tonite's offering is a weird one starring Dungeon legend, Ray Milland, and former LA Ram, Roosevelt 'Rosey' Grier! Here's some of the plot keywords for this flick... African American, head transplant, prejudice, disembodied head, police, experiment, gorilla, motorcycle, Blaxploitation, bigot, racism and independent film.

Ray plays filthy rich Maxwell Kirshner, a racist bigot who's dying from a heart condition, and who comes up with a plan for transplanting his head onto another man's body. As his health deteriorates, the doctors are forced to transplant his head onto the only available candidate: a black man on death row. Then, watch the fireworks!

The seventies style music is by Robert O. Ragland, who has 56 composing credits that include titles like THE BABYSITTER, THE YIN AND YANG OF MR. GO, ABBY, GRIZZLY, MANSION OF THE DOOMED, Q, 10 TO MIDNIGHT, THE SUPERNATURALS, DEEP SPACE and WARHEAD. He also has 13 soundtrack credits...

Lettuce bring in our little Friday Night helper and button pusher, of course, Rufus The Gnat!! We love our lil' Rufus!.. Through telepathy, Rufus informs me that he's ready to start the show, so, push the big red 'GO' button now, Rufus!! Here's... THE THING WITH TWO HEADS!

The movie begins with this 2-headed gorilla, an experiment to prove Maxwell Kirshner's theory that his head could be successfully transplanted onto another body when the time comes. The thing then escapes... It's almost certain that the gorilla there is none other than an updated version of KONGA!

The freak gorilla is played by, who else, Rick Baker. Speaking of Rick, we'll be reviewing OCTAMAN in the next couple of weeks, here at The Dungeon, so, look for that one!!

They finally find the big ape at the corner market, scarfing down bananas!

Maxwell is on his death bed and the end is near unless they can get a body for him...

Rosey plays Jack Moss, a guy who's on death row but is actually innocent of the crime he was convicted of. His life is spared at the last second as he agrees to be a guinea pig for a medical experiment! There's a musical part in the soundclip where he's walking to the execution chamber.

Jack gets a little more than he bargained for!.. Hey, I'm a poet and don't know it!

Jack, meet Maxwell... Maxwell, meet Jack!.. Now, let's get the Hell out of here!!

I'm wit' you, bro!

They stop to rest and are fired upon by some dudes in helicopters... Exit stage right!

A rider falls off his bike at the race, so, the guys commandeer some wheels!

The entire police force is out trying to chase down the 2-headed thing!

Did I mention this is a comedy?.. Poster fodder.

They crash every single cop car!! Watching this trooper try and scamper up this incline is a real hoot!

Yeah, I know!..

State of the art communications in 1972!

Maxwell knocks out Jack and drives back to his laboratory, now what is he going to do?..

Maxwell has his head removed from Jack's body. He explains his reasons for doing the right thing to his colleagues, something to do with 'having walked in the shoes of a black man.'

Everything turns out fine as Jack, Lila and Fred all begin to get their lives back to normal.

DEADLIER THAN THE MALE - Malcolm Lockyer/John Franz/Scott Engel "Beware My Brother, Beware" (1967)

I dig Spy, Secret Agent and Detective flicks, it's just that simple! Beautiful women and locations, fancy weapons and the latest inventions, and needless to say, there's most likely going to be a cool soundtrack, and tonight's feature, "Deadlier Than The Male", is no exception! The main score was created by a man who died way back in 1976, Malcolm Lockyer. Malcolm has some fine titles to his name, some we've done, some coming up in the future, like "Dr. Who And The Daleks," "Agatha Christie's Ten Little Indians," "The Vengeance Of Fu Manchu," and "Island Of The Burning Damned!"

What's really interesting about the music is that one of the coolest main themes you're ever going to hear, was written by Scott Engel and John Franz, and sung by The Walker Brothers, and for some reason, it's clear as a bell in the credits, but oddly is not mentioned at all on IMDB. That's just weird!! Here's a picture of a 45 I sold on Ebay before I even realized that a young kinda rockabilly Scott Engel was indeed the same guy as Scott Walker after he packed up and left Ohio and headed over to the UK where he scored some big hits with that rich deep baritone, and songs like "The Sun Ain't Gonna Shine Anymore!" At one point in the 60's, The Walker Brothers were actually more popular than The Beatles in Europe!

The always stunning Elke Sommer has the role of the badass Irma Eckman, a gal who is indeed, "Deadlier Than The Male!"

That stogie had what we used to call a load in it, but the loads we used to put in other peoples cigarettes only blew off the tip, unlike this one that shoots a bullet right through the back of your neck!! Irma looks quite smitten with herself!

I'm not really sure why Irma went to all the trouble except to fill her not so well hidden sadomasochistic desires, since she ends up blowing the whole plane to kingdom come anyway!

Sylva Koscina is the more than interesting Penelope, Irma Eckman's sidekick! Smart and beautiful, Sylvia was 5'10½" and 39-25-37, and studied Physics at Naples University before becoming an actress!

So much for racial profiling, these two are every airport security worker's dream come true!! Sorry ladies, we're going to have to pat you down!

After the two dolls harpoon this cat, they abscond with a tape off a good old fashioned tape recorder that is going to lead to some reel important information!

As The Coasters would so succinctly put it in their hit song "Searchin" it's time to bring in one of the big guns of the genre, Mr. Bulldog Drummond!

Sylva Koscina passed away back in 1994, but left a legacy of 119 appearances in mostly Italian films ranging from "Hercules Unchained" to "Lisa And The Devil!"

Besides all her obvious talents, Elke Sommer is also an accomplished artist, and you can actually buy her original art for a pittance at This Place!

In the meantime, these two have been given another assignment by The Boss!

Pretty cute, huh?

That has got to be the biggest phone I have ever seen in my life!

The legendary Bulldog Drummond was played by Richard Johnson! Richard would reprise the role of Bulldog Drummond in 1969, in the impossible to find, "Good Girls Do!" Richard has worked steadily since 1950, was also in "The Haunting," and "Zombie" among others, and believe it or don't, he's filming a TV movie this year called "The Other Child!"

They make it seem like you're suddenly on some tropical island, but it's just a framed moving background in this stool pigeon's pad! Bulldog is able to obtain some pertinent information!

All you clothes designers take notice, open back, very sexy, or does she just have her blouse on backwards?

Bulldog Drummond is pretty laid back most of the time, but when it comes time to take care of business, he's all over it!!

I never was cool enough to have one of these kinds of pedestal phones with the dial on the bottom!

"Did somebody order a pizza?"

You Fool! I specifically said, "No Anchovies!"

It's really hard to capture good action shots in any movie, but here's a good example of how to deal with bad guys like Milton Reid as Chang! Milton has an unforgettable mug that you've seen in "Blood Of The Vampire," "Terror Of The Tongs," "Night Creatures," and "Dr. No." Just like all our favourite characters, Milton was also a professional wrassler! He started in 1952 as Jungle Boy, and as his career progressed, he became best known as The Mighty Chang! After his career fell apart, Milton went to India to act, and sometime in the late 80's, he mysteriously disappeared, and they still haven't figured out what happened to him!

If you want to live, never drive somebody to the edge, unless you plan on pushing them over! The Bulldog's about to snap!

Nigel Green had the role of the Big Bad Boss Carl Petersen! Nigel had a great career that ran the gamut from playing Hercules in "Jason And The Argonauts," to being Nayland Smith in "The Face of Fu Manchu!" Nigel also had good roles in "The Skull," "The Masque Of The Red Death," and Dean Martin's "The Wrecking Crew," before 'accidently' overdosing on sleeping pills in 1972 at the age of 47!

For the grand finale, Carl Petersen challenges Bulldog Drummond to a 'killer' game of chess in his specially prepared game room!

C H E C K M A T E! ! !