DIE WEISSE SPINNE - Peter Thomas - "The White Spider" (1963)

Bug Kudos to Sinister Cinema for bringing out the series of Edgar Wallace films, "England's Master of Mystery & Horror" at a very reasonable price, and for including titles like "The White Spider" which even though it isn't an Edgar Wallace film, or English, it falls into the category of "And Others He Inspired" quite nicely!

No strangers to the strange world of Edgar Wallace, director Harold Reinl, and writer Egon Eis are able to spin this tale of a mad makeup artist as well as the master himself!! Harold Reinl also directed "Room 13" and the three best Jerry Cotton Movies! Mystery movies just don't get much better than this!!

A staple in German films of this era, Dieter Eppler shines like a bald diamond as the multi-faceted, and multi-faced Summerfield! Eye patch AND sunglasses at night, now that's a wild cat!! Summerfield is a very bad dude, and besides car crashes, he also has a penchant for cable and hangings!

Karin Dor as Muriel Irvine, the tortured widow left behind, made a successful transition from German to U.S. film, with her roles in Alfred Hitchcock's "Topaz" and Ian Fleming's James Bond vehicle, "You Only Live Twice."

Is the little white spider good luck or is it bad luck? Muriel's husband dies in a fiery car crash as he was leaving The Club, but what's really behind the whole thing?

The Germans have their own special ways of dealing with employees that they have a disagreement with!

Meet Horst Frank as Kiddie Phelips, one of the most devious henchmen you don't ever want to meet. He looks harmless enough, but he is a vicious killer! Last time we saw Horst was as crime boss Larry Link in the classic Jerry Cotton feature, "The Traps Snaps Shut At Midnight!"

The last, but definitely not least major player in "The White Spider" is yet another Dungeon iconoclast, Joachim Fuchsberger as just plain ole Ralph Hubbard!

Ralph is literally up to his ears in trouble as the smartass ex-con trying to help Muriel sort out all the problems after her husband's untimely demise!!

The music for "Die Weisse Spinne" was composed by one of the Dungeon's major musical heroes, and all around nice guy, the masestro Peter Thomas! Peter's work is always just one step above the rest, driven by boundless imagination and unpredictable jazzy scores. Besides everything else, he wrote the music for "Raumpatrouille" the German Space Patrol, The Jerry Cotton films, and a score of Edgar Wallace movies. Just a couple of titles we may have never mentioned before are "To Hell With School," "The Mysterious Magician," and "Face Of The Frog!"

Kiddie and Summerfield have a brief disagreement, and Summerfield quickly shows Kiddie who's the boss with one of his cable lasso tricks!

Ever want a cheap but very effective scary ass Halloween mask? Well, don't forget about the old silk stocking over the head routine, it always looks freaky!!

There's also a very mysterious force being emitted by the authorities, and even the local law enforcement can be subject to intense interrogation!

I can't count high enough, so I don't know exactly how many different personas Summerfield takes on during the course of the film, but I'm pretty sure it's more than Tony Randall in "7 Faces Of Dr. Lao!"

Here's even a couple more, let's hope he got paid salaries for each different character, it would only be fair!

In the film "The College Girl Murders," I wrote that Joachim Fuchsberger was chewing gum throughout the whole movie, in this one, I think he's munching on something about half the time! What a great character!

Joachim is the only one smart enough to carry wirecutters around with him!

I'm not sure exactly who to credit for set design, but isn't this a wild amalgamation of objects? There's a skeleton, a Balinese carved mask, a poster of a polka trio, and Lord only knows what else just for starters!

In The End, this whole amazing film gets a most deserved standing ovation, kinda like when CREAM reunited, it's an all-star ensemble!!

SLAVE OF THE CANNIBAL GOD / Italy - 1978

Hello everbloody, and welcome to Friday Night Drive-In, here at The Dungeon! Tonight, we gots what would be considered Euro Trash, but with nice jungle locations, Ursula Andress's boobs and plenty of animal cruelty! SLAVE is the edited print, MOUNTAIN OF THE CANNIBAL GOD is the uncut, R-Rated English version.

The story has many of the same elements as Mr. Big's THE CYCLOPS! It's about a scientist who has gone missing in the New Guinea jungle, his wife and her brother mount an expedition with the help of another scientist, and uranium is involved!!

The music is by composing heavyweight tag-team brothers, Guido and Maurizio De Angelis, who worked almost exclusively in Italy and are still working today!!

Okay, Ralphie The Tarantula is all set and ready to push the big red 'GO' button and start our Eariffic Earclip! So, here's... SLAVE OF THE CANNIBAL GOD!

'Nuf said?..

Well, they're off to New Guinea, guess they ignored the above warning. Look at Ursula's wild hair from the helicopter's wind draft!

Stacy Keach meets the notorious Manolo...

Then, Stacy meets up with another snake!

Time out for an important message...

Owie, owie!.. Leg cramp!!

The flick definitely gets some kudos for convincing cave cannibals!

Hey, here's one for the ladies!

This is Ursula's long lost hubby, yuck-o!!

They rub his decomposing ooze all over themselves, barfaroni!!

The cannibals believe Ursula to be a Goddess, so tie her up and... Hold on a sec... Hey pal!! Watch the hands!!

...Lunch is served!!

You just have to love those primitive alter pieces, and the dude's geiger counter looks very cool!

Ursula and one lucky guy get a break and hightail it the Hell outta Hell!!.. Ghoulnight Everbloody!

MENG LONG ZHENG DONG - Yung-Yu Chen - "Bruce Lee Against Supermen" (1975)

When we first starting thinking about what to do on Wedensday, it was like WTF?!, and it was a joke, but now it's gotten serious, and tonight's feature is seriously a WTF?! flick entitled "Bruce Lee Against Supermen," and if you want to talk about a movie that has it all, then this is your movie, because it has absolutely everything, and the only thing original about any of it, is the way it's all thrown together without regard for anything! Let me show you what I'm talkin' about cause it's a hoot!!

The prefect movie made in Hong Kong has got to have all the essential elements, starting with best buddies during happier times!!

A perverted twit spying on a naked bathing beauty!

The kidnapping of the Doctor scientist and his daughter by a gang of nefarious bad guys!!!

Okay, Sure, WTF?!

Yi Tao Chang or as he is better known, Bruce Lai, is probably one of the few guys in the world that can look cool in what appears to be a madras jacket! He made 4 of these movies in 1979 alone, and has been in titles like "The Clones Of Bruce Lee," "The Inheritor Of Kung Fu," and "Dragon On Fire."

The Hong Kong version of the vision of the future!!

The ultimate international headquarters of the bad guys, no expenses spared!!

Cross-cultural diversity that includes Chinese Arabs!

Crossing diagonals like there's no tomorrow without any regard for taste!

A CAT FIGHT!!!

The patented WARP-O-VISION!!!

Not a mere Rolex watch, No, not these guys, they've got a Rolex wall clock!!! Damn!!

A guy with a slingshot!!

A gang of Monkey-Boys!!!

Bruce as Farmer John, the body building rickshaw driver, and part-time exotic dancer!

Bruce Lai channeling Bruce Lee channeling Elvis!!!

A killer knockout punch is provided in the form of music from the likes of Yung-Yu Chen, who composed an average of 14 soundtracks a year for 12 years running from 1970 to 1982! Good titles too, like "The Oily Maniac," "The Mighty Peking Man," "Dirty Kung Fu," and "Mantis Fists And Tiger Claws Of Shaolin."

Finally Superman shows up, and he might not be much to look at, but he's a real devious sumbitch, and it's not good enough to just be Superman, he also has to cheat!!!

Green Hornet is in the mix too, which kind of ties things together cohesively, and makes the whole concept of this film easier to follow. Kato was Green Hornet's sidekick, and on the TV series, Kato was played by the real Bruce Lee! See, it all makes sense now!!

After cutting Bruce up with his cheap gauntlet spiked armbands, Superman is forced into the final ultimate tapout after Bruce applies a vicious figure 4 leglock, and believe or don't, I left out a whole bunch of stuff!!! Thanx to PGB for the wild ride!!