THE 7 BROTHERS MEET DRACULA / Hammer/Shaw Bros. - 1974

In keeping with Eegah's!! week dedicated to the vampire, here's THE 7 BROTHERS MEET DRACULA, aka THE LEGEND OF THE 7 GOLDEN VAMPIRES!

"Deadly Horrors! Dragon Thrills! The First Kung Fu Horror Spectacular!" sez the tagline... Vampires are loose in China in 1904 and Prof. Van Helsing is there to educate the population about the undead!

Considered a difficult shoot from the beginning, (the original director was replaced after a few days) this flick probably suffers the most from trying too hard to be a hit! When mixing Euro gothic horror with Asian martial arts, get ready for something weird, that's for damn sure! Still, the one falls on the plus side for pure entertainment!! It even has some nudity.

The music is by, who else, James Bernard, and you can hear that classic Hammer sound in the soundclip. A few other titles James composed for are THE QUATERMASS XPERIMENT, X: THE UNKNOWN, THE CURSE OF FRANKENSTEIN, QUATERMASS 2, HORROR OF DRACULA, THE DAMNED and more!!

Tabonga pet Ralphie the Tarantula use his small megaphone to say, well, he ready to be pushing that big red 'GO' button and start 'eariffic earclip' for everbloody' listening pleasure. So, here's... THE 7 BROTHERS MEET DRACULA!

Like Tabonga wuz sayin'... Vampire club loose in rural China!

Many years ago, curious Asian Priest go to Transylvania and is confronted by Dracula himself! Obviously, Priest dude is the Asian connection...

He go back to China and recruit new troopers!

The great Chinese chili cookoff!!

Admit it, vampire know how to have good time!

Prof. Van Helsing's lecture is poo-poo'ed by the audience...

But, after the lecture, he is shown proof of a vampire cult by a villager, who is also one of seven brothers and a sister who fight vampires themselves!

Back at Drac's castle, vampires having a great time! Wheeeee!!!....

Van Helsing and the gang show up at the castle, ready to confront evil...

As usual, Peter gets thrown around by Drac, but he always gets the last laugh!!

It must have been a real kick for the Hammer special effect guys, figuring out how to scare the living hell out of kids!!

Yeeeesh!!!..

DRACULA HAS RISEN FROM THE GRAVE - James Bernard - "Get Back Drac" (1968)

Well Hell, the way the bodies are stacking up, looks like it's going to be a Dracula Week for me, and why the Devil not? I'm walking on a thin ledge overlooking an alligator pit here, but I'd be willing to bet that as far as genres go, Vampires outnumber any other concept in the history of film making, dating all the way back to the 1922 classic "Nosferatu" and continuing right on up to the current "Twilight" series! Tonight's installment falls right in the middle of the vampire heritage of film, and is called "Dracula Has Risen From The Grave" or "Drac's Back Again!"

There's been a Helluva lot of Damned Vampire flix made, and at least two gentlemen.......

...Bela Lugosi, and Christopher Lee built solid careers on the Dracula character! As a matter of fact, the vampire concept is so popular, I'm working on a script right now for a new blockbuster feature titled "Godzilla Vs Dracula!!" set to be released sometime in 2013 after the end of the world!

Here's part of the deal, Christopher Lee has this magnetic ability to be able to go from one of the nicest and charming dudes on the planet, and then, bam, a complete 180, and he's the most cruel and sadistic bastard in the universe of the living or the dead! Both Bicuspid and Bipolar!! Bite on that!!

It's the old college drinkin' initiation involving balancing a glass of beer on the end of a broomstick! If it was me, I'll tell you one thing, Good F'n Luck!!

Man, those are some good lookin' burritos!! You know you can't have a Hammer Dracula film without a barmaid with no future, unless, of course, you include becoming a member of the "Loyal Sisterhood Of The Undead" as the future!

The musical score by James Bernard is not that exciting by Dungeon standards, but Mr. Bernard has such a rich musical horror history, he can do anything he wants, and it's all right by us! James Bernard composed the soundtracks for the classics "The Creeping Unknown," "The Curse Of Frankenstein," and "The Horror Of Dracula," and the list goes on and on through Hammer history!

Honestly, this isn't the greatest film in the world, but it's directed by Freddie Francis, and so you're going to get a different take, which means it's worth watching, and no matter what, there's going to be some great shots, or something that makes it worthwhile!

Personally, I could sit here and watch Hammer films stunning or mediocre, all day long, if I didn't have to join the ranks of the living dead on the day shift! AAaaahhh!!!

Ewan Hooper as the "Priest" is irritating as all Hell fire, but would have been a shoo-in as Larry if they had ever done a "Three Stooges" bio back in the day!

Think about it! How many times have you seen a vampire appear in some innocent person's bedroom window??

Religious icons in a vampire flick, what the heck?

The David Bowie character meets the Larry Fine character with predictable results!

"On the roof, it's peaceful as can be, and there the world below can't bother me!" - Carole King of the Vampires!

Damn, Chris, WTF, man, Hey, man, you're really choking me.......Can somebody plese help me, this method acting is killing me!!

Right about here you start to get the vibe that Chris is getting really Pissed!!

Have a nice forever, and just to prove it's hard to keep a good man down, I'll be back on Friday with even more of Dracula's madness!!

HORROR HOUSE ON HIGHWAY 5 / NoCo - 1985

Welcome everbloody, to Saturday afternoon at the Dungeon! Today we gots a total WTF!!! flick to educate you on, and, a little whiff for PG, recipient of this obscure disc in eventuallity! (You'll need decoder ring to figure out last part of that statement, nark, nark!)...

Filmed in LA by no company, Tabonga convinced that you had to be on LSD to work on it, so, maybe they just forgot to make a company!!

Here's the deal, a Nazi doctor is living in Littletown, USA, has a fetish for our pal Richard Nixon, and so, he commits acts of senseless violence while wearing a Tricky Dick mask, and, just for the hell of it, even. He's a freakin' Nazi! Also, he has two sons (?) that are faithful followers, Dr. Marbuse and Gary!

There was some actual original music in the movie, even though they stole some other tunes you'll easily recognize in the soundclip.

So, here we go!.. Lil' Piff the Gnat ready to fly across room and smack big old red 'GO' button to start our 'eariffic earclip' by Eegah!!..

Piff start off slow... Okay, he going a little faster!.. More, more... Now, even more!.. Faster... An' faster! (Phew!) Closer and faster he go, on merry way to start the show!.. And!!.. He dood it!! Enter the HORROR HOUSE ON HIGHWAY 5!!

Here's Phil Therrien as the nutty Dr. Marbuse, teaching his idiot brother, Gary, to learn the meanings of the different tarot cards! Writer/producer Richard Casey must be a big Edgar Wallace fan! Phil Therrien went on to do one other part as a delivery guy on CHEERS...

And, here's Max Manthey as idiot boy, Gary, in all his spectacular glory! This was Max's first, last, and only acting job!

Richard Nixon is played by Ronald Reagan in this flick, no kidding!..

No, I'm not on anything, what makes you think that?!

Okay, okay, I'm on something!!

Well, son of a... Just one of them days, I reckon!!

Here's Mr. Hambone at the college as he instructs students to go to Littletown and do some reseach on the weird Nazi family that lives there. **Person that designed this classroom is goddamn hack!!

Wow, that's one ominous LA smog landscape going on there!

One of the students scores an interview with the oddball brothers, lucky her...

So, if you're a real Nazi, first, you drug the interviewer...

Then, you chain her up! What else?!!

Get this... Dude just run over Nixon and he get a bloody nose!.. Go figure!!

Gary trying to see the brain worms inside bro's head!!

Nowadays, they use Tricky Dick Cheney mask!!

This is pretty cool, garden rake forks stuck into dude's skull... Gimme a 'Oh, hell yeah!'

Tabonga like this pic!

Gary tries to 'dance.'

Here's Dr. Marbuse as he tries to conjure up something, wearing his special Nazi occult beanie.

The 'doc' goes totally whacko at the end and causes more terror with his ratchet brace drill!! But, six years earlier DRILLER KILLER had a battery pack for his power drill!!