What we gots today is 13 of my favorite crappy horror and sci-fi movies from the fifties and sixties. Six of these have been great fodder for the MST guys to chew on, and boy do they! So, grab a cup of coffee for old Tabonga, sit back and enjoy the ride...
Monday, March 21, 2022
13 CRAPPY HORROR AND SCI-FI MOVIES I LOVE
Thank you Phil Tucker for putting this one together for TV in 1960, it's pretty cool and I like it a lot. Aliens Hauron and Nadja are fun to watch, his left arm missing with a blood stained sleeve, and their transmission procedure is just weird! Word is... Plastics!
The MST boys have a field day with this Coleman Francis, Tony Cardoza production, wow is it cheap and crappy, but, not without its charm. They just put layers of rubber cement on Tor's face for makeup, plain crappy. They show off Marcia (woo woo) Knight on the poster but she's only in it for a minute, and never sees the Beast! It would have been a much better movie if they filmed her just flopping around for an hour!
Oh my effing Gott!!.. This thing is such a damn mess, but the MST guys hit a home run here, saving the day, one of my favorites! The ending is the most ridiculous POS in the history of film, a Must See!
This one is on the list if for nothing else, for the mind bending séance scene put on by Dr. Acula, with a messed up voice from beyond, that swizzle stick and the pathetic trumpet sounds, holy scheiss! Tor never looked better though, he's all messed up as Lobo the enforcer. I remember seeing a full page promo shot of him in Famous Monsters, he looked creepy and cool.
This movie takes the cake!! That amateur poster there really captures the movie's quality, or lack thereof. It is so whack! The monster is indescribably ridiculous, what a piece of shit, it's slow as Hell too. Just plain amateur hour. MST saves the day again though!
Holy Crap, Holy Crap. Holy Crap!!! This movie is soooooooo BAD!! Larry Buchanan's take on INVASION OF THE SAUCER MEN is pathetic. But you can't not watch it to see if that military guy wins that five dollar bet. The nighttime scenes are filmed at like, noon, in actual dark scenes you can see the monsters are are just wearing their head pieces, things just don't match, a total mess! AARGH!! Again, MST does its job, Joel comments on the title card, he says... Who wrote Attack Of The, The Eyes Creatures?!.. Mel Tilllis??
The music alone will make you want to beat your head against a wall. The characters are a mixture of weirdos littered with spider women, male dwarfs, a giant spider, a mad scientist, a psycho and a love triangle! Rifftrax recently got their hands on this one. Love the movie and its madness.
I don't know why I like this one so much, but I do, for me it has a certain charm. Plus it has Him in it, Him likes to look at nudie magazines with pages torn out and hung on the wall. The producers were thrilled when they saw the poster for the movie, but when they finally got to see it, they were flabbergasted by the difference between the fantastic poster and the weak-ass movie!
Eegah and I saw this crazy movie when it came out, and boy did we crack up when they showed the little critters up close! They look like Brillo pads with white pipe cleaners sticking out of them, holy cow! Our band Hermanos Guzanos did a 'musical' version, "Brain Eaters," that can be found on You Tube along with lots of other HG 'tunes' there too.
Man, what can you say about this total bomb that hasn't already been said. It's a hoot to watch as they work their way through the script. Well, maybe I have something to note that hasn't been discussed before about this 3-D disaster... As Ro-Man is walking up one hill in particular, he's tippy-toeing his way up the trail (he looks so damn silly here), looks like he's a little concerned about falling down, or stumbling. seems like he's having trouble seeing what he's doing because of the stupid space helmet!
The madness never stops! This movie is just plain whack, but I love it, it delivers all the low budget monsters, props and effects you'd want for a good laugh. What's really cool is that Bob Crewe (from The Four Seasons) does a number of tunes throughout the film. What I remember most is the super-crappy makeup job on Dr. Nadir's ears, jeez!!
Here's a weird little movie with a David Hewitt tie in, also known as SPACE MONSTER, a TV movie that made it to the theater circuit. The only thing you'll probably remember are those sexy dreams of one of the spaceship crew, and that little alien (with its tongue hanging out) they found in an abandoned ship just floating around in space, but still, I like it.
I saved my favorite crappy movie for last, wow, this thing is surreal... The theme song is great, the cast is great, and it has one of the most interesting movie monster ever conceived. So, what more could you want from a crappy movie?.. Hope you enjoyed.