Monday, July 20, 2020

ULTRAMAN / "5 Seconds Before The Big Explosion" - 1966

Have you guys noticed that Eegah!! basically enjoys highbrow stuff whereas I like lowbrow crap! That's what makes us a great team!.. In today's little whacked out episode, a rocket accidentally loses its cargo and the Science Patrol is sent to investigate when one of the nuclear bombs goes missing. They find it attached to a giant sea creature rampaging near a seaside resort and Ultraman faces off against the unwelcome varmint!

Wow, that's one colorful rocket! It has six nuclear bombs on board that're on their way to Jupiter for some freaking experiment there!.. GFL!

Of course the rocket crashes into the sea and one of the bombs goes off and causes a tsunami in that area...

The Science Patrol's commander shows his guys how to locate and recover the missing bomb, four were found already but that fifth one must be accounted for!

Then, a big old sea monster shows up, apparently mutated to giant size from the radiation of the bomb that went off... How ridiculous, it's just been a few days since the explosion!!

The damn thing creeps around and finds one of kids being watched by the female Science Patrol member. The monster sticks its hand into the room and tries to get the girl, but the boy (also being watched by the Science Patrol lady) grabs a butter knife and stabs the monster's finger, causing it to pull its arm out of the room. It tends to its boo boo, and the wound seems to hurt like Hell, and now it's very, very angry! How stupid! The freaking thing is a hundred feet tall, how bad could a stab from a butter knife be to something that size?!! Just plain stupid!

The Science Patrol sends in it's jet plane to mess with the monster. Love the look on it's face!! Anyway, it blows the plane out of the sky with like I guess, it's bad breath. The second still shows the thing watching the pilot parachute to the ground! Cracks me up, man!

Now, this blew my mind... Brainiac tells the commander to have some music played because monsters ALWAYS either like to dance or become catatonic when it's played! Wow, bold claim! The commander agrees and tells whoever's in charge to play some music very loud to pacify the intruder.

Well, a military vessel is brought in to play music over a loud speaker... As the boat gets closer to the over sized mud skipper, we hear the music... Oh my god, it is the most insane, grating, horrible combination of Dixieland and honky-tonk I've EVER heard!!! It felt surreal.. Hey, do yourself a favor and go watch this episode on You Tube and check it out! What's even cooler is, leave a comment after viewing, that way, I'll know if I'm crazy or not...

So, what do you think the monster does?.. Right, it goes insane and starts tearing the crap out of stuff. And that's how I reacted too, go check it out, it's unbelievable!!

It's time to put the gloves on, robo contra monster!.. Okay, now what?

It's a little embarrassing to see our hero Ultraman eating a lot of dirt!

The bomb falls off the monster and rolls down the hill. Mr. Knucklehead there goes chasing after it, better hope it doesn't blow up in your face, what's wrong with you!!

Ultraman takes the brunt of the thing's toxic breath, right in the mush!

Butt in the end, Ultraman uses his secret weapon to deep six the monster, it plummets about 300 feet off a cliff and into the sea...

Then, Ultraman takes the nuclear bomb into space where it blows the Hell up, with just 5 seconds to spare!! So like, Eegah!! will be here Wednesday to give us more of the stuff, here at The Dungeon!

1 comment:

Grant said...

ULTRAMAN (at least this original series; I don't know the others) has a habit of giving you sympathy for so many of them and THEN getting them killed.
There's a semi-comical one one called "Gift From The Sky," with a semi-comical monster. They keep trying to get rid of him non-fatally, THEN they get him killed, almost accidentally! Which is a little jarring.

Monster Music

Monster Music
AAARRGGHHH!!!! Ya'll Come On Back Now, Y'Hear??