Saturday, February 28, 2015

RATU SAKTI CALONARANG - "May Peace Be In Your Heart" (1985)

For the last film of Heart Month, tonight we have a tender love story straight out of Indonesia called "Ratu Sakti Calonarang!" 

"Ratu Sakti Calonarang" is brought to you courtesy of the good folks over at:
  Cult Action Films!" 
They thought it was a movie I needed to see, and you needed to know about!

This is the diminutive Suzzanna as Calonarang! There seems to be quite the controversy as to whether her name is two words Calon Arang or one word Calonarang depending on where you look! You might remember Suzzanna for her roles in "The Hungry Snake Woman," or "The White Alligator!" She is also a member of the one name celebrities club that includes Madonna, Prince, Sting, Charo, Twiggy, Cher, Coolio, and Sade, among others!

 These are her disciples! The pretty maids all in a row!

This group of witches is into all sorts of black magic and depravity like human sacrifice!

And you don't get the idea that they especially like men very much!

There's lots of song and dance numbers like this Motown tribute!

"Ratu Sakti Calonarang" enlightened me to a few things that I never had heard about before like 'Disastrous Fog!' I've seen all kinds of fog in my life, but none that attacked before! Most of the fog around these parts just sits there and waits for you to come to it!

You made big mistake! Now it's time to pay! Get the message?

To prove how tough and rugged she is, Calonarang is constantly chewing and tugging at something in her mouth that looks kind of like a stogie, but I am going to go out on a limb here and guess it's maybe a dried salt plum or something like that!

Whatever it is she's got stuck in her mouth, it makes her look like a gangster!

Suzzanna was only 5 foot 3 inches tall! She was born Suzanna Martha Frederika van Osch, and she passed away back in 2008 at the age of 66!

This dude was going to kill Calonarang, but when he saw the inside of her thigh, he got turned on and morphed into a young handsome prince. He thought he was going to make love to her, but when she awakes....................

.............She pisses all over him! (It's starting to get weird!)


Your basic storyline after that is that in order to rid themselves of Calonarang's reign of terror, they will send a young man to seek her daughter's hand in marriage, and then after he's on the inside, he can steal Calonarang's Book of Black Magic and end the madness!

 Time for the big wedding celebration "Boom Shaka Laka" song and dance number!

 This shot screams Bali!

 My, My, what language from a lady!

Calonarang goes to get her book back, and there's a big final showdown!

Home boy uses the book to defend himself, and Calonarang ends up destroying the book and herself in the process, or something along those lines

The world could use this message these days, that's for God Damn sure!

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