Saturday, June 16, 2012

CONQUEST - Claudio Simonetti - "A Terrifying Challenge Beyond Imagination!" (1983)

"CONQUEST!" Is it the past or is it the future? "CONQUEST" is goremeister director Lucio Fulci's foray from Giallo into supernatural splatter sword and sandaltry! So what would you expect, it's a mess in more ways than one, and I can't think of a better film to do on the night of our pal Zillagord's graduation! It's prefect on multiple levels!!

Andrea (Augh! Augh!) Occhipinti is Ilias, the future King of the world or something like that! It's really not all that important! Andrea turned his hand to producing in the mid 90's to the present day! His last production was on a Sean Penn vehicle last year titled "This Must Be The Place!"

This is Ilias's most formidable foe, an evil witch of a woman also with her own plans for the remainder of civilization! It doesn't really look like there's that much left except a few smoke machines, so I'm not sure what the big deal is! Sabrina (White Cannibal Queen - Daughter Of The Jungle) Siani has the role of witchy bitch queen Ocron!

This dream sequence of the man with no face and a magic electronic bow is as good a place as any to tell you that the Goblinesque music for this film was created by a cat named Claudio Simonetti, the former keyboardist for none other than Goblin, who of course worked on Dario Argento's "Deep Red," "Suspiria," and "Phenomena!" Here's a good one, Simonetti originally wanted to name the band 'Oliver!' This stuff is not anything you'd ever hear in any Hercules movie, that's for sure, and the second part of this little clip sounds like "Guzanos!" The music is great and creates even that much more confusion of where and what the Hell is going on!

If I'm not mistaken, break dancing was quite popular in 1983!

This is Mace! Mace is anti-social, and likes animals more than he likes humans! Mace is played by Mexican strongman Jorge Rivero whose first film in 1965 was called "Neutron Traps The Invisible Killers," where he had the masked role of El Enmascarado de Oro! Jorge also had one of the co-starring roles in John Wayne's "Rio Lobo!"

"CONQUEST" is kind of a buddy movie, they don't really seem to know where they are going or what they are doing, but they both really like Ilias's magic bow!

There are lots of freaky otherworld creatures.......

....frozen fuggin' mummies, and giant turtles are just some of the things they must endure on their journey!

These guys get attacked numerous times by the minions of whatever is deeper than Hell, but their new found friendship somehow allows them to continue onward in search of a dream!

As seen here, you can tell the bow is pretty cool and also very effective. There's only one problem, it does run out of arrows after a while, and there always seems to be more bad guys around the next corner!

Everybody has a favorite movie, and I'm sure "CONQUEST" is on somebody's list for shots like this if nothing else!

There's a buttload of violence, gore and nudity in "CONQUEST" and it does carry an 'R' rating! In this scene, supreme bad thing Zora, delivers Ilias's head to Ocron!!

Now you know why she wears a mask!

After inheriting the bow, Mace takes care of business....

.......And walks off into the sunset ready to face the next challenge!

Ask yourself, do you really want to see these gals naked? And look at the size of the thighs on Mace, and No, there are no motorcycles in this film! See, now you agree, it all makes sense!

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