Wednesday, October 13, 2010

LA MANO CHE NUTRE LA MORTE - Stefano Liberati and Elio Maestosi - "The Hand That Feeds The Evil Dead Face" (1974)

All Right!! It's a WTF?! Wednesday the 13th, almost right smack dab in the middle of this Halloween Countdown, and what a "fill in the blank" it is for me to regurgatate this particular flick for you on this dark and lonely night. It's also known as "The Hand That Feeds The Dead," so you figure it out. It's not really that great a movie, but it does exist, and it's gross and disgusting with some extended flesh removal scenes, so at least that's something!

Anyway, it's pretty obvious I didn't really like this "Evil Face" movie all that much, even though it did have Dungeon Fave Klaus Kinski in it. There was a new era of Goth, Gore, and Sex in the movies, and this one is a perfect example of why we like the 50's and 60's movies! This film is also devoid of any cool music, so on the rubber monster and Rock 'n Roll scale, it rats, not rates, about one falling star! The music was composed by the tag team of Stefano Liberati and Elio Maestosi, who between the two of them have 13 composing credits. They must have been pals, because most of their credits are shared with each other, including these titles, "Lo Stallone," "Lover Of The Monster," "La Prova D'Amore," and "Sixteen!"

Unless you want to count this big slow moving, but lethal, 'I've got a plate in my head, and every time you pluck that silly tuning fork, it makes me go into a mad rant' guy! He damn near makes it as a rubber monster, or at least a blubber monster anyway! I'd be ashamed to be killed by this guy!

One minute you're having a good time stupping your girlfriend out in the open air of the countryside, and the next thing you know you're getting punched in the face, and possibly killed or raped by the blubber monster! It's that kind of a movie!!

Nice gauge..., 15 PSI, are you kidding? Everything else blows, the lab might as well go too!

Wow, did you see the set of beakers in that lab?

That would be my freakin' sentiment too! Directly, and take your blasted moving picture with you!

Klaus?? What are you doing, man? We need to talk, and I mean NOW!!!

Don't worry, you'll figure it out!!

Right Klaus, I'm sure it was a regular fortune cookie!!

No Shit??!! Me Too!! What a coincidence!!! Maybe it has something to do with that coffin over there with your wife in it!

Here he comes!!! You better run, because in about five minutes or so, he's gonna get to you!!

AAaaahhhh!! WTF???!!!

Girls just wanna have fun, and while, that's all right with us, it's just not enough to save this film!!

That would be an understatement lady! What's the problem? Nobody wants to play with you??

If this guy is the hero, nobody in this movie stands a chance!! The Blubber Monster strikes again!!

Glory Hallelujah, Thank the Lord!! But wait, there's something different about you, although I can't quite figure it out..........

There are still questions that remain unanswered, but in this period piece, one thing remains without a doubt, the blood flows freely, and it's a raw deal you probably won't forget any time soon! Yes?


prof. grewbeard said...

hilarious review, you're cute when you're angry! glad i don't have to actually watch the damn thing!

Eegah!! and Tabonga! said...

I gotta work on that 'cute' thing! It's difficult to be not nice and not mean spirited at the same time!

Monster Music

Monster Music
AAARRGGHHH!!!! Ya'll Come On Back Now, Y'Hear??