DOOMWATCH - John Scott - "Island Of The Ghouls" (1972)

It's called "DOOMWATCH" and with an uplifting title like that, what are you going to expect out of the UK in 1972! If it's doom and gloom you want, you got it here! Great title card!!

It's not like the people in charge didn't also cause the problem, No, nothing like that! "Doomwatch" addresses the problem, and it's not exactly a barrel of laffs, in fact, it's just no fun at all, dismal, and horribly depressing!

A remote island can create an isolated environment that is not subject to normal rules or society! Therein lies the problem!!

Swiss Toggenburg goats are simply the best! They produce a lot more milk, and have more personality than Nubians! A good milker will give you around three gallons a day, and their personalities will rival that of the best dog you ever had! High quality fresh goat milk tastes like melted Häagen-Dazs ice cream if it's handled properly, it's that sweet! I honestly believe that goats are the most maligned and misunderstood domestic animals on the planet! They do have horns, and the males do smell like the Devil in season, but it's almost kriminal how all the other myths about them have been exaggerated for decades!

This island has a very distinctive problem, and there ain't nothing funny or tropical about it!

Although he wasn't in many horror films, Ian Bannen, here as Dr. Del Shaw, was also in another film we'll be doing soon, "From Beyond The Grave." Dr. Shaw has been sent to the island, because all the reports say something strange is going on there!

The nearest thing to a female romantic interest is played by Judy Geeson as the seasonal teacher Victoria Brown! Judy was Pamela Dare in "To Sir With Love," Mary Gloucester in "Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush," and Jacki in "Goodbye Gemini." This is as close as Del and Victoria are going to get to a roll in the hay!!

The square shooter who has now lost his aim is George Sanders in the role of the "The Admiral!" He should have been a Rear Admiral, because he's a pretty big ass!!

The island people are being poisoned by chemicals and leaking radioactive material dumped off their coastline, but they attribute their mutating society to inbreeding, so they are very wary of any outside intervention, so it's that old basic premise, they're damned if they do, and damned if they don't!!

Public relations, lies and deceit, there ain't nothing like it!

Not only is the local population becoming horribly disfigured, they are also very standoffish, and have a penchant towards violence!

"Doomwatch" was based on a UK TV show that ran for three seasons from 1970 to 1972, and starred John Paul as Dr. Spencer Quist, and Simon Oates as Dr. John Ridge. "Doomwatch" the TV series's first episode was called "The Plastic Eaters" and the last show, entitled "Sex and Violence," explored 'Moral Pollution' and was never aired! Neither Ian Bannen or Judy Geeson were ever on the TV show!

In the meantime, the locals keep dropping like flies!

NO!! Everything's NOT all right!!

The serious music for "Doomwatch" was composed by the brilliant John Scott. We've written about Mr. Scott before if you feel like searching. He was the composer of the music in such films as "The Million Eyes of Sumuru," "Berserk," "Trog," and "Hexen Geschändet Und Zu Tode Gequält," or a literal translation of "Disgraced Witches And Tortured To Death!" As far as we know, the amazing John Scott is still going strong today!

There are some frights and scares, but mostly "Doomwatch" is a film about confusion and misunderstanding!

"Doomwatch" was directed by Peter "Taste The Blood Of Dracula" Sasdy, written by Clive "The Crezz" Exton, and the outstanding makeup was by Tom "The Shining" Smith!

"Doomwatch" would be a great film to watch on any cold and rainy Sunday morning with some Mimosas, some shots of Cabrito, some barbecued Portabellos, and somebody you really dislike, like your cousin or any politician, and can be found on Netflix!

WHAT’S GOOD FOR THE GOOSE (1969) – Well, is it?

 

Greg Goodsell here -- what we have in the Dungeon tonight is a vintage British sex farce that seems a tad too naughty for these here parts.  WHAT'S GOOD FOR THE GOOSE also went under the title GIRL TROUBLE in the States or NORMAN - GIR DEN GAS in foreign territories!

Yes, our man Norman Wisdom plays banker Timothy Bartlett ruled by his humdrum, workaday routine. For a British sex quickie, however, WHAT’S GOOD FOR THE GOOSE has quite a pedigree! It’s produced by horror film producer extraordinaire Tony Tenser, released by his Tigon Studios. Tenser had a hand in such classics as WITCHFINDER GENERAL (1968) and BLOOD ON SATAN’S CLAW (1971)! Director Menachem Golan would later join forces with his cousin Yorum Globus to forge the incredible bomb factory known as Cannon Pictures in the 1970s! He died on August 8 at the ripe old age of 85 this very year! But we’re getting ahead of ourselves -
 

 To borrow a phrase from an old Kinks ditty, “What are we living for? Two-roomed apartment on the second floor.” Norman’s three adorable kids ignore and don’t appreciate all of his hard work -- can you feel a mid-life crisis coming on?

Sent to a conference by his ailing boss at the coastal town of Southport, trouble comes quickly! These two British lolly birds are about to get our friend Norman into all kinds of trouble! LET THE CARTOON BEGIN!

Adjusting their sunglasses, Nikki (Sally Geeson) and Meg (Sarah Atkinson) size our Norman up as a repressed old prude! That’s about to change in a very big way –

Yup, a little bit of leg will get any girl far in this world. Norman here feigns disapproval –

Geeson, the lovely brunette in this shot is the younger sister of distinguished British actress Judy Geeson of HORROR PLANET/INSEMINOID (1980) infamy! She would only appear in a few more pictures until she chucked acting all together in 1972 to pursue a teaching career!

The girls ply their wares and let slip that they will be partying in town that weekend. You can see the bug slip into Norman’s ear at this point!

There’s a lot more from where that came from?

Out and about to pick up a pack of fags -- that’s CIGARETTES, for you yanks, Norman stumbles into a -- literally -- underground nightclub called the Screaming Apple!

As you can see, poor Norman is a real fish out of water in this kooky comedy as he takes to a psychedelic hippie joint in black bowtie and tuxedo!

As plainly evident, there are a lot of British hippies who were having FUN FUN FUN in this nightspot where patrons can swing on inner tubes! Looks unsafe …

The enthusiastic British hipsters welcome Norman with open arms, because -- HE HAS MONEY! YAY!

Here is why this film is remembered, if at all -- it features the noted and celebrated psychedelic and blues rock group the Pretty Things! The Things contribute four songs to this film’s soundtrack. As you can see, these Things aren’t particularly “pretty” -- but neither is rock and roll!

What is good for the goose REALLY is good for the gander, as this male waiter, in the manner of other swingin’ female birds of the time, goes “topless. “

Why, even a member of the house band also goes the Tarzan route!

And here’s our fave “it” girl again, trying to convince Norman to stop being such an old fuddy-duddy!

Bedding down with his lovely for a night of extramarital sex, a lock of her hair strategically placed foresees the macho street clone look that would become popular in the following decade!

Norman afterwards embraces the youth counter-culture. A bit of booze and some Carnaby Street clothes make the man!

Yours truly is ashamed to say that he, at one point, wore vests like that -- as late as 1976!

Feeling remorseful, Norman drags his wife (Sally Bazely) to Southport for some hippie clothes and free-wheeling fun, but as she slathers on some cold cream, our hero realizes -- you can’t go home again! Is what’s good for the goose REALLY good for the gander? You’ll have to see the movie to find out! This is Greg Goodsell – over and out!

GOODBYE GEMINI - Christopher Gunning/The Peddlers - "Twinsanity" (1970)

Tonight's WTF!? Feature is brought to you courtesy of Greg Goodsell, who recently turned me on to this flick. So, let's see, Greg Goodsell/Goodbye Gemini and it's #999, ....Uummm? Without a doubt a Triple F Flick! Stay tuned...I think you'll know what I mean!

So here they are, Martin Potter as Julian, and Judy Geeson as Jacki, twin brother and sister, happy team extraordinaire! Pretty easy to picture Martin in some of his later roles as Paolo Orsini, Robin Hood, or Gaius Calpernius Piso, and Judy Judy as Caroline Penvenen Enysm, Becky Royce, or Pookie!

Where do we start? Such happy go lucky unidentical brother and sister moving to the city! Life is just freakin' fantastic! The instrumental music for this film was composed by Christopher Gunning in his first outing. Christopher is still working today, and has composed the music for a host of Brit TV shows like "Intimate Strangers," "Day Of The Triffids," "Knights Of God" and "Rosemary & Thyme" just to name a few. Roy Phillips, Tab Martin, and Trevor Morais better know as The Peddlers perform the raw and extra funky "Tell The World We're Not In" in their only film music appearance, which is really astounding when you realize that their first incarnation as a band was called, what else, The Soundtracks!!!

For me personally, it gets real freaky real fast, not that I didn't have any stuffed animals as a kid, but when an adult cannot detatch themselves from their toy bear, there is bound to be some psychological trauma involved, combined with the fact this film is 1970 UK, can you spell C R E E P Y?

In no time at all the Happy kids are up to their keisters in swingin' London, and hanging out in places plum full of sexual ambiguities, and.......

....meeting weird blokes like the late Alexis Kanner as Clive Landseer, a bisexual dude with the worst John Lennon wannabee freakin' sideburns in the world. Somebody please tell me why they think this is a cool look cause I have never got it!! Not nearly as bad as full blown lambchops, but in reality, a style only Lemmy can embrace successfully!

The kids are best friends, but Julian is having difficulty, I mean, okay, he wants to do his sister! Another new meaning for the term family values!!

I have not read it yet, but there is a review of this film in SCREEM #20, one of the only few real monster magazines that still exist in print! Go grab yerself a copy, if for no other reason, there's an amazing article written by the aforementioned Greg Goodsell about the wonderful actress Mary Woronov, amongst a hoarde of other killer info!!

Okay, where was I, what's on TV anyway?? That's the arm of Michael Redgrave as James Harrington-Smith, who gets third billing in this movie, but I'm not going to tell you why!

Now I'm no teetotaler, but there is no way I could keep up with this group, they would drink me under the table, where I wouldn't mind meeting Judy, but that's another story!

I'm pretty sure "that's what it said, the letter that Johnny Walker Red!! After the bear, there are more shots of whiskey than anything else!!

Once again Julian's love is spurned by Jacki!!

Back in the good old days, they called it intermission!

After the pot and even more whiskey, Clive takes Julian to a sleazy Hotel to have a threesome with a couple of super hot chicks!!

Well, if he can't have his sister, the booze tells him that this looks like a pretty good deal!

Whoops! More trouble in paradise!! This gal needs a shave!!

Shit! Clive! Whiskey! Pushin' too hard, pushin' his luck!!

It took the whole movie, but fed up with Clive's crapola, Julian and Jacki have moved to the dark side!

It's another happy ending as the kids escape off into the sunset to fulfill their love for each other! NOT!!!

There was a lot of whiskey drinking, but in the end, the bears win the psycho contest by a landslide!! Twinsanity indeed!!!