CAPTAIN VIDEO AND HIS VIDEO RANGERS / 1949-55

There's nothing like opening up a can of worms with some of our posts, like today's for example... First there was no title card, I would have had to read story lines from six years of episodes to try and find even the title of this episode that makes very little sense and the audio was bad. I told that idea to go to Hell! So, what we gots is this incoherent selection from that series... This was the very first kid's space adventure show ever on TV!

Here's some info on the show - "Guardian of the Safety of the World", private citizen-scientist Captain Video is assisted by his teenage helper and an army of Video Rangers. Their aim is to preserve the peace on Earth in the far-flung future, fighting the likes of evil Dr. Pauli (of the Astroidal Society) and a pile of other bad guys like Nargola, Mook, Kul, Clysmok! The show appeared nightly Mon-Fri and featured many outlandish weapons and techno-gimmicks.

Al Hodge plays Captain Video, here, he hears a strange story from I think a general, who knows? Anyway, something's rotten in Denmark, and the Rangers need to get on the stick!

Cut to this guy, he a mad scientist building some kind of super plane to screw with you know, people! He's running around his lab muttering to himself about taking over the world and all.

Then, there's this freaking weirdo, another scientist off his rocker, he's talking with some dude from France or something. He's telling him about his new device that can destroy the whole damn universe! Wait a minute, say WHUT!! Man, these guys really ham it up!

Cut to commercial!.. Time to make some money. So, here we have a Video Rangers ring that kids can send in for.

I swear, the guy says something like, kids, if you ever get in a scrape with a cop or someone of authority, well, just show them your Captain Video ring and they will know you're on the right side of crime fighting!

Just mail in two Powerhouse candy wrappers and 10 cents to get your own Video Rangers ring!

Back to the action... the Captain communicates with his Rangers in their plane. They're looking for something but can't seem to locate it... Bor-ing!

I guess this was part of the show when they hit the doldrums, the Cap goes over to his video viewer and turns it on. A western movie comes on the screen...

The star is none other than Buster Crabbe, that guy was my hero in the fifties. To start with, Buster was the 1932 Olympic 400-meter freestyle swimming champion. He played Flash Gordon, Buck Rogers, Tarzan and Billy the Kid, who I believe is him here.

Him and his pal punk the sheriff and help their other buddy escape from jail and then ditch the posse, they play another commercial and that's it. I'm guessing Eegah!! will have something cool for us tomorrow, sees you then.

THE FILM FAN - "Porky's Day Out" (1939)

Here's a great little Weird Wednesday distraction! It's a 1939 Warner Bros. cartoon titled "The Film Fan." Originally made in black and white, it was colorized once in 1968, and then again with a computer in 1992.

This one stars a very youthful Pork Pig as a boy with a short attention span!

A local movie theater is just getting ready to have their grand opening!

There are all kinds of gags of course!

And more jokes!

Porky Pig has been sent by his Mother to go to the market to get a loaf of bread, and a bottle of milk, so as he walks he's repeating her words to him......."A loaf of bread, a bottle of milk, and come home right away" over and over!

But when he walks by the theater, his brain automatically changes the verse to "A loaf of bread, a bottle of milk and kids admitted free."

At that point, he stops dead in his tracks, and makes a beeline into the theater!

Back in the day, the theaters would show cartoons, and short newsreels before the movie started!

Good time for more gags!

This scientist named Professor Widebottom is responsible for coming up with this super prismatic microscope that allows humans for the first time in scientific history to see germs in their blood stream!

Not really that funny any more!

The scientist turns out to be a big goof that you wouldn't really want to trust to do anything!

It was free, but Poky got a seat all the way in the back, but then he sees that there is a vacant seat in the front row so he bolts down the aisle!

A film teacher in college told me movies were made to be bigger than life, and you should always sit in the first 10 or 12 rows, so you won't have any distractions!

In 1978 when "Superman" came out, the show was almost sold out, and I think we got the two last tickets, because the only seats available were in the front row, and it looked exactly like this!

More gags!

I love this shot of all the kids really enjoying the show! It reminds me a lot of going to a matinee on Saturday morning when I was about Porky's age.

I guess the reference point will be a moot point soon!

That will no longer be a problem!

The Usher gets an angry call from Porky's Mother and makes the announcement.....

"If there is a little boy in this theater that was sent to the store by his Mother, he better get home right away!" and Porky slithers out of his seat and runs away up the aisle!

The story ends with the whole theater emptying out and deflating because every kid there was doing the same thing!

THE GHOST SHIP / MYSTERY TERROR! - 1943

Here's one I recorded off TCM like 8 years ago, the story goes like this... Tom Merriam signs onto the cargo ship Altair as the third officer under Captain Stone. At first things seem normal, the Captain looks at Merriam as a younger version of himself, and the young man sees Stone as the first adult to ever treat him as a friend. But after two very strange deaths of crew members, Merriam begins to think that Stone is a psychopathic madman obsessed with authority (whoa, timely!). He tries to inform other crew members (but no one will listen to him) and this makes Captain Stone very angry..

This one stars Richard (RKO superstar, father of Robert) Dix, Russell (THE BODY SNATCHER) Wade, Ben (THE LEOPARD MAN) Bard, Edmund (THE CURSE OF THE CAT PEOPLE) Glover and Skelton (MASTER MINDS) Knaggs - Man, you gotta love Skelton, he basically replaced Dwight Frye's type character in the forties. He died at age 43.

Tom Merriam is on his way to join the crew on the Good Ship Lollipop, Err, the Altair 4... Anyway, before he boards the vessel, he has a friendly chat with a blind vendor. The man tells him that the Altair is a cursed ship, and that he should think twice before it takes off. Tom thinks the guy's a little strange and heads off to the ramp.

Before they even they shove off (you shove off!) someone is missing from the roll call. That's because he's lying there dead for some reason... Sorry dude, it's time for us to shove off now!

Out at sea, the ship encounters a storm. The huge iron hook was not tied down even though the Captain was warned of an approaching storm, so, a few men are ordered to secure it however possible! Well, the hook crashes into one of the lifeboats, knocking it off the ship, and the men barely escape injury before it's secured!

Tom and the Captain have a little chat about the incident. Tom learns that the man in charge has some issues with his authority, but he's not convinced that the Captain's a bad guy, yet.

One of the crew gets appendicitis and two of the men have to play doctor as Sparks, the radio operator, relays instructions on how to remove it from a surgeon!

Tom has a heart to heart with Sparks, and even though there's a lot of evidence the Captain may be a murderer, the third officer still doesn't want to think the Captain would ever do that.

One crewman had words with the Captain, and the Captain told him that everthing's cool, but that, you know, other captains might hold it against him. So, the guy is in the chain storage chamber with the door open so he can get out before the last of the chain is in place...

Captain Stone just happens to be wandering by, and shuts the door!!

Tom basically catches the Captain in the act and tells the sicko that he murdered the man!

Tom quits and wants the Captain to drop him off at the nearest port! Stone says sure, no problem, but remember that other captains might hold something like this against you. Of course the Captain was putting on an act and threatens Tom with a gun!

Skelton (real name) plays Finn, a mute, who's the pint sized hero in this story. He finds a telegram from the captain that states a big lie to the authorities about the deaths. Boy, this sounds sooooo damn familiar!!

Tom has it out with the Captain after Sparks is found dead. He then tries to strangle the Captain until some crewmen take him away.

In this scene, it's evident that Stone is totally insane...

Tom has been tied down, drugged and muzzled. And just as he's ready to be stabbed to death by the crazed Captain, Finn shows up, just in the nick of time!!

The little guy is wiry as Hell and gives the Captain a run for his money.

The murderer is taken out by his own blade and brings the story to a happy ending. Speaking of endings, this post ends the most insane June I've ever lived through. Join us Wednesday as we begin probably another crazy month, here at The Dungeon!!..