A 001: OPERAZIONE GIAMAICA - Marcello Giombini - "Our Man In Jamaica" (1965)

No more dealing with impostors or impersonators, tonight's Dungeon Spy Feature is about Agent Double 01 and is appropriately titled "A 001: Operazione Giamaica" or "Our Man In Jamaica!" This poster kills, and it has nothing to do with the movie at all! Fantastico!!

So first things first, our man hasn't even got there yet, so let's try and find out why he's going! I don't usually spend a lot of time talking about directors, but I think it's worth noting something that might make "Our Man In Jamaica" just a little bit different from your standard Eurospy flick, and that is the fact that Mr. Mel Welles was the predominant director for the movie!  Mel of course, is a major Dungeon hero for his work on and in "Attack Of The Crab Monsters," "The Undead," "Rock All Night," "The Little Shop Of Horrors," and "She Beast" etc!

Our man who hasn't gone to Jamaica yet, is Larry Pennell as Agent 001 Alessandro Pennelli, or in the English version, Ken Stewart Agent 001! Larry Pennell was the character called Dash Riprock on "The Beverly Hillbillies," a suave movie actor who was quite attracted to Elly May! He was also in the "Outer Limits" episode called "The Mutant," and was Kemosabe in "Bubba Ho-Tep!" Larry just passed away a little less than a year ago!

"So what do you mean, you have a job? Last night you said you were a secret agent, and we were supposed to get married today!"

So Agent 001 has been called into the office to be given his new assignment, but he's still daydreaming about the action from the night before! Next stop............

....JAMAICA!!

I don't know who is singing that wild and fairly horrendous theme song, but the music credits go out to Marcello Giombini of "War Of The Planets," "Battle Of The Stars," and "War Of The Robots" fame and fortune!

This creepster dude is very intent on this dancer! In fact he's down right delusional!

So when 001 waltzes up to the bar, and the dancer ask him to buy her a drink, it really pisses off the creep because he thinks she's his girlfriend, and then all Hell breaks out!

Bad Brad Harris gives 001 a muchly unappreciated assist, because 001 prefers to fight his own fights!

By the luck of the draw, it just so turns out that I've ended up with two copies of "Our Man In Jamaica" so I'm going to give away one copy free, courtesy of  The Cult Action Team to the first person who leaves a comment with the correct answer to this question! Not in this movie, but in real life, what number 8 is Brad Harris quoted as saying that he believes is essential to good health?

The boss played by Wolfgang Kieling shows up, and tell his thugs to take the troublemaker into his office! Behind closed doors, it's now revealed that Wolfgang's character is indeed a special operative himself, and the whole thing was just a ruse, so the two could meet together and not cause suspicion! Wolfgang was in Hitchcock's "Torn Curtain," and I love this fact, on German "Sesame Street," Wolfgang was the voice of Bert!

001 is searching everywhere to try and catch up with his old pal Larry Peacock who has suddenly mysteriously disappeared!  Linda (The 1000 Eyes Of Dr. Mabuse) Sini is Signora Cervantes, an art collector and a known associate of Larrys, and she has a real cool pad, but she doesn't have any real answers!

I love this very short scene where these two streetwalkers come up and ask Mr. Bigshot for a ride in his fancy car, and 001 politely tells them that it's a rental!

Heading over to Larry Peacock's office, 001 finds a strange woman in his ransacked office, but it turns out to be Larry's sister, who is also looking for him! Marvelous Margitta (Zimmer 13) Scherr is Lana Peacock!

Lana finds what appear to be some doodles by Larry, but when it's turned upside down, it points at nothing but trouble at some place called Flamingo Bay!

A pensive 001 gazes out over the pool!

It's a fact that Brad Harris does all his own stunts!

Barbara Valentin is Signora Cervantes' secretary Gloria! "Yeah, she makes me feel all right, G L O R I I I I A!" -  Them. Barbara's first role ever was in 1959 as the dancing girl in "The Head!" She kept working right up to the time of her death in 2002! "Somebody's ringing the bell, open the door and let 'em in!"- Paul McCartney

Larry Peacock finally shows up, but he's in no condition to answer any questions, in fact, he's not even breathing, and it turns out that he has been electrocuted and was just left leaning up against the door bell!

It seems it would be almost inhumanly impossible to have a 60's spy movie without a miniature tape recorder of some sort!

In the end they try to pry more information out of 001 by hooking him up to some electric dreadlocks, but just like every time before, 001 is just too tough to give it up!

 Just so that you know he lived through the whole ordeal, here's a final shot of 001 and Lana together safe and sound and riding off into the sunset. "Our Man In Jamaica" is just one more movie in a long line of 60's spy flicks worth checking out, and speaking of checking out, I'm outta here!

MARS ATTACKS! / Tim Burton Productions - 1996

It's Martian Monster Monday with Tabonga, here at The Dungeon!.. This Tim Burton production is (supposedly) based on the super classic Topps gum cards from 1962 and features a big pile of stars, many of which get killed off. This silly little movie made a staggering amount of money!

Eegah!! sent over a sound clip from this flick with some Tom Jones singing his hit "It's Not Unusual" as Rome burns, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button there by the Martian Ray Gun, NOW, Ralphie The Tarantula! Here's our audio offering for... MARS ATTACKS!

This is a good place to start... Okay, why in the Hell would you make a movie called MARS ATTACKS! and use saucers stolen from EARTH vs. THE FLYING SAUCERS??!!.. I don't get it.

The Martians were originally designed by Super Dungeon Hero and Comic God, the amazing Wally Wood! I have a little surprise at the end of the post, so, hang on to the hand rail!

I really like this shot of Michael J. Fox, just before he gets turned into a yucky green skeleton!

Gung ho private Jack Black thinks his American flag is enough to stop the devilish invaders.

Lisa Marie's the Martian bombshell that bites off horndog Martin Short's finger and spits it into the fish tank!

The Martians in the mother ship pass time by watching American TV!

Danny DeVito gets a little more than he bargained for at the craps table!!

Here, Jim Brown teaches the Martians a little bit about the sweet science of boxing!

It seems that one particular song, "Indian Love Call" by Slim Whitman, drives them absolutely mad and makes their heads explode!! A handy secret weapon played over loudspeakers worldwide, bringing the invasion to an abrupt end!

HELLO!!!... EARTH vs. THE FLYING SAUCERS!!!

Jim Brown gets the last stomp!

Now, here's a blood curdling look at three original panels done by Wally Wood for Topps. You know, I'd prefer to see a movie based on the original story and cards! So, check back Wednesday for more from the Dungeon crew!

THIS NIGHT I'LL POSSESS YOUR CORPSE -- "Your Cuppa Joe?" (1967)

Greg Goodsell strikes again! Tonight's bill of fare is THIS NIGHT I'LL POSSESS YOUR CORPSE, or in its original Brazilian Portuguese, ESTA NOITE ENCARNAREI TEU CADAVER! In spite of some naysayers who say our readership only looks at the pictures, y'all should be told that this here film is in fact a sequel to the earlier Brazilian horror hit, AT MIDNIGHT I'LL TAKE YOUR SOUL, aka A MEIA-NOITE LEVAREI SUA ALMA in 1964.

All  righty then, our main man here is Zé do Caixão, or as he translates from Portuguese, "Joseph of the Coffin," or more appropriately, COFFIN JOE! As played by multi-hyphenate star-director-producer José Mojica Marins, Coffin Joe is a satanic undertaker who terrorizes a backwaters  Brazilian town, flouting convention by wearing way-long fingernails --  which translates as, "Ha, ha, I don't have to sully my lovely hands with manual labor like you do, you sweat hogs!" He both physically and  philosophically bludgeons passersby with his fierce, existential line of patter -- like this!

Marins' films are either lauded or attacked for their kooky, unexpected touches, such as having the film's credits being handwritten directly on the film. Is this avant-garde -- or just rampant cheapness? You decide!

Here's something that many will point out -- Coffin Joe has got himself a hunchbacked, deformed henchman for this outing -- and yet he stands so tall and erect the hump on his back juts out like a woman's pregnant  belly! Avant-garde -- or inept? You decide!

Now, Coffin Joe may be the embodiment of evil -- but he loves children. Children are our future, as Whitney Houston used to sing. Here he gives a reckless motorcyclist the what for after narrowly running over some kiddies in the street.

To this end, Coffin Joe abducts a bevy of bimbos in order for him to sire offspring. But in order for these gals to pass muster, they must undergo a series of tests!

SO -- as the lovelies slumber, he dispatches some spiders on their sleeping forms! I figure this spider is happy where he's at right now.

This has the gals giving Coffin Joe major attitude, but as he ably points out -- we don't run a Democracy in this house!

As a reward for his years of servitude, Coffin Joe gives one of the gals to his oatmeal-faced employee!

As there can be only one mom for his kid -- Coffin Joe loves kids and IS NO POLYGAMIST -- he picks one gal and throws the rest in a snake pit!

"I  don't like spiders and snakes, and that's not what it takes to love me,  you fool, you fool!” screams one of the girls -- probably hired for her willingness to hold a boa constrictor, and she lays a curse on Coffin Joe. She reappears later on -- wait for it --

 A strongman is thrown into the mix for the ladies. He's one of the townspeople who dares to stand up to Coffin Joe's reign of terror!

There he goes again, screaming atheism into the face of some poor put-upon believer as he lowers a rock inches away from the victim's face. Marins is still very much alive and still very much at it with his Coffin Joe character -- his last film was EMBODIMENT OF EVIL in 2008!

 Sleaze, cheese and tease, Brazilian style!

 

Now, THIS is what this particular film is remembered for -- Coffin Joe goes to hell and it's in ghastly COLOR! Sort of a reverse on THE WIZARD OF OZ, eh?

Hell is full of perverse eye candy, such as these heads in ceilings that scream nonstop. According to Marins, the residents of hell in this picture were recruited from some of Sao Paolo's highest members of society -- bankers, lawyers and politicians -- who were all too ready and willing to work for free in a Coffin Joe film!

In direct contrast to a fiery afterlife, Hell here is depicted as a snowy, frozen place where snow perpetually falls calmly from the sky -- brrrrr. It's like when Christian missionaries discovered the Eskimos and they warned them of the fires of Hell -- unintentionally making the Eskimos look forward and wish for a place that was toasty warm!

Far out, maaaaaan! I'm diggin' all these lighting gels and rampant nudity!

Marins appears as Satan himself to question Coffin Joe -- "How do you know there's no Lake of fire awaiting such miscreants as yourself?"

There's that gal again -- telling ol' Joe I told you so!

HA! It was just a dream! Just in time for some good news!

Yes, his female partner in crime is going to bear a child! Hurray!

A moment of tenderness -- Coffin Joe may be a torturer and a mass murderer -- but he loves kids, babies -- just like Mussolini!

NOT SO FAST, the disgruntled townspeople say -- you must be brought to justice for all of your rampant killings! Man up, dude!

The townspeople have ganged up on him -- and now Coffin Joe has a moment of conscience! Seems like Joe is just a big ol' paper tiger, much in the manner of that blustery philosopher Ayn Rand who went on to collect Social Security benefits towards the end of her life!

One last moment before ol' Joe is tossed into the lake with his other victims!

Burble, burble, burble, as Marins throws in one last bit of Catholic morality to appease the Brazilian censors of the time. Full of windy speeches and loving close-ups of the film's auteur, Coffin Joe is, ahem, an acquired taste! Greg Goodsell signing off now --