MARS ATTACKS! / Tim Burton Productions - 1996

It's Martian Monster Monday with Tabonga, here at The Dungeon!.. This Tim Burton production is (supposedly) based on the super classic Topps gum cards from 1962 and features a big pile of stars, many of which get killed off. This silly little movie made a staggering amount of money!

Eegah!! sent over a sound clip from this flick with some Tom Jones singing his hit "It's Not Unusual" as Rome burns, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button there by the Martian Ray Gun, NOW, Ralphie The Tarantula! Here's our audio offering for... MARS ATTACKS!

This is a good place to start... Okay, why in the Hell would you make a movie called MARS ATTACKS! and use saucers stolen from EARTH vs. THE FLYING SAUCERS??!!.. I don't get it.

The Martians were originally designed by Super Dungeon Hero and Comic God, the amazing Wally Wood! I have a little surprise at the end of the post, so, hang on to the hand rail!

I really like this shot of Michael J. Fox, just before he gets turned into a yucky green skeleton!

Gung ho private Jack Black thinks his American flag is enough to stop the devilish invaders.

Lisa Marie's the Martian bombshell that bites off horndog Martin Short's finger and spits it into the fish tank!

The Martians in the mother ship pass time by watching American TV!

Danny DeVito gets a little more than he bargained for at the craps table!!

Here, Jim Brown teaches the Martians a little bit about the sweet science of boxing!

It seems that one particular song, "Indian Love Call" by Slim Whitman, drives them absolutely mad and makes their heads explode!! A handy secret weapon played over loudspeakers worldwide, bringing the invasion to an abrupt end!

HELLO!!!... EARTH vs. THE FLYING SAUCERS!!!

Jim Brown gets the last stomp!

Now, here's a blood curdling look at three original panels done by Wally Wood for Topps. You know, I'd prefer to see a movie based on the original story and cards! So, check back Wednesday for more from the Dungeon crew!

THIS NIGHT I'LL POSSESS YOUR CORPSE -- "Your Cuppa Joe?" (1967)

Greg Goodsell strikes again! Tonight's bill of fare is THIS NIGHT I'LL POSSESS YOUR CORPSE, or in its original Brazilian Portuguese, ESTA NOITE ENCARNAREI TEU CADAVER! In spite of some naysayers who say our readership only looks at the pictures, y'all should be told that this here film is in fact a sequel to the earlier Brazilian horror hit, AT MIDNIGHT I'LL TAKE YOUR SOUL, aka A MEIA-NOITE LEVAREI SUA ALMA in 1964.

All  righty then, our main man here is Zé do Caixão, or as he translates from Portuguese, "Joseph of the Coffin," or more appropriately, COFFIN JOE! As played by multi-hyphenate star-director-producer José Mojica Marins, Coffin Joe is a satanic undertaker who terrorizes a backwaters  Brazilian town, flouting convention by wearing way-long fingernails --  which translates as, "Ha, ha, I don't have to sully my lovely hands with manual labor like you do, you sweat hogs!" He both physically and  philosophically bludgeons passersby with his fierce, existential line of patter -- like this!

Marins' films are either lauded or attacked for their kooky, unexpected touches, such as having the film's credits being handwritten directly on the film. Is this avant-garde -- or just rampant cheapness? You decide!

Here's something that many will point out -- Coffin Joe has got himself a hunchbacked, deformed henchman for this outing -- and yet he stands so tall and erect the hump on his back juts out like a woman's pregnant  belly! Avant-garde -- or inept? You decide!

Now, Coffin Joe may be the embodiment of evil -- but he loves children. Children are our future, as Whitney Houston used to sing. Here he gives a reckless motorcyclist the what for after narrowly running over some kiddies in the street.

To this end, Coffin Joe abducts a bevy of bimbos in order for him to sire offspring. But in order for these gals to pass muster, they must undergo a series of tests!

SO -- as the lovelies slumber, he dispatches some spiders on their sleeping forms! I figure this spider is happy where he's at right now.

This has the gals giving Coffin Joe major attitude, but as he ably points out -- we don't run a Democracy in this house!

As a reward for his years of servitude, Coffin Joe gives one of the gals to his oatmeal-faced employee!

As there can be only one mom for his kid -- Coffin Joe loves kids and IS NO POLYGAMIST -- he picks one gal and throws the rest in a snake pit!

"I  don't like spiders and snakes, and that's not what it takes to love me,  you fool, you fool!” screams one of the girls -- probably hired for her willingness to hold a boa constrictor, and she lays a curse on Coffin Joe. She reappears later on -- wait for it --

 A strongman is thrown into the mix for the ladies. He's one of the townspeople who dares to stand up to Coffin Joe's reign of terror!

There he goes again, screaming atheism into the face of some poor put-upon believer as he lowers a rock inches away from the victim's face. Marins is still very much alive and still very much at it with his Coffin Joe character -- his last film was EMBODIMENT OF EVIL in 2008!

 Sleaze, cheese and tease, Brazilian style!

 

Now, THIS is what this particular film is remembered for -- Coffin Joe goes to hell and it's in ghastly COLOR! Sort of a reverse on THE WIZARD OF OZ, eh?

Hell is full of perverse eye candy, such as these heads in ceilings that scream nonstop. According to Marins, the residents of hell in this picture were recruited from some of Sao Paolo's highest members of society -- bankers, lawyers and politicians -- who were all too ready and willing to work for free in a Coffin Joe film!

In direct contrast to a fiery afterlife, Hell here is depicted as a snowy, frozen place where snow perpetually falls calmly from the sky -- brrrrr. It's like when Christian missionaries discovered the Eskimos and they warned them of the fires of Hell -- unintentionally making the Eskimos look forward and wish for a place that was toasty warm!

Far out, maaaaaan! I'm diggin' all these lighting gels and rampant nudity!

Marins appears as Satan himself to question Coffin Joe -- "How do you know there's no Lake of fire awaiting such miscreants as yourself?"

There's that gal again -- telling ol' Joe I told you so!

HA! It was just a dream! Just in time for some good news!

Yes, his female partner in crime is going to bear a child! Hurray!

A moment of tenderness -- Coffin Joe may be a torturer and a mass murderer -- but he loves kids, babies -- just like Mussolini!

NOT SO FAST, the disgruntled townspeople say -- you must be brought to justice for all of your rampant killings! Man up, dude!

The townspeople have ganged up on him -- and now Coffin Joe has a moment of conscience! Seems like Joe is just a big ol' paper tiger, much in the manner of that blustery philosopher Ayn Rand who went on to collect Social Security benefits towards the end of her life!

One last moment before ol' Joe is tossed into the lake with his other victims!

Burble, burble, burble, as Marins throws in one last bit of Catholic morality to appease the Brazilian censors of the time. Full of windy speeches and loving close-ups of the film's auteur, Coffin Joe is, ahem, an acquired taste! Greg Goodsell signing off now --

THE HOBO HERO with Piccolo Pete / Les Elton - 1935

It's Freeloader Friday with Tabonga, here at The Dungeon!.. We gots a GAG Film from 1935 produced by amazing early NY animator, Les Elton, using a method called rotomation or rotoscoping, where, the artists draw over live action film frames, giving characters a realistic look in the scene.

Eegah!! sent over a lil' sound clip for our earjoyment, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button next to the magic piccolo, NOW, Rufus The Gnat! Here's a taste of... THE HOBO HERO!

Back in the early days of movies and cartoons, everything was fun and crazy! Nowadays, everything's just the opposite.

Here's a good example of rotomation, Piccolo Pete looks like a real person!

Pete stands on the front of the train and saves Tillie's little doggie from being run over, so, she invites him to stay awhile at her parent's farm, down the road. The PDQ on the train stands for Pretty Damn Quick.

Pete plays his piccolo for this happy little moo cow as she dances for him... Surrealistic City!

Pete milks the cow and follows Tillie and her mom to the house...

Well, it's 9 pm and time for all good little girls to go beddy-bye and get their beauty sleep!

Pete finds out that Tillie's attracted by music and walks in her sleep if she hears it, that's why no saxophone playing is allowed at night (there are other male boarders)! So, Pete gets an idea, he waits until the parents are fast asleep, and...

Pulls out his trusty piccolo!

Tillie gets out of bed and heads towards where the music is coming from.

You can figure out this last picture for yerself... You can watch this classic cartoon on YouTube if you get the hankering... Tomorrow's Saturday, which means, Virus Man will be back in town!