Wednesday, March 28, 2012

HOW AWFUL ABOUT ALLAN - "Wouldn't You Be Better Off Dead?" (1970)

"How Awful About Allan" is not really that exciting of a movie, but it just might be the only thriller with three consecutive 'A' words in the title, and that counts for something, doesn't it? Director Curtis Harrington was the man responsible for bringing us such classics as "Night Tide," "Voyage to the Prehistoric Planet," and "Queen Of Blood," and statement and question titles like "How Awful About Allan," "What's The Matter With Helen?" and "Who Slew Auntie Roo?" before drifting off into a long career in television!

Jeez, for a moment there, I thought that was the "Psycho" house burning!

Basic premise: The family house burns up, and Allan feels responsible for not saving his Father and his sister. His Dad died in the fire, and his sister was horribly disfigured, at least for a TV movie anyway!

8 months later, Allan is scheduled to get out of the mental hospital, and go home, but there's just one problem..........

..........Even though there's nothing wrong with his eyes, Allan can't see!

Allan is kinda welcomed back home by his scarred sister Katherine played by Julie (East Of Eden) Harris! Katherine has all kinds of problems, the least of which is probably her brother!

Allan's fiancee before his big burnout was Joan Hackett as Olive! Joan had the role of Esther Fortune in the "Twilight Zone" episode entitled "A Piano In The House!" Most of Joan's career was on TV, and she left us way too early at the age of 49 back in 1983!

He might not be able to see, but Allan's Spidey senses tell him something is not right! It's hard to believe that Anthony Perkins has been gone since 1992! One of my favourites of his many crazy guys roles was that of the great baseball player Jimmy Piersall who suffered mental problems in "Fear Strikes Out!" Almost a documentary, I always remember the scene where Jimmy's on first, and he picks up sand, and puts it in the first baseman's pocket! The first baseman had no clue on how to react. Jimmy Piersall was a regular Till Eulenspiegel, and Anthony Perkins was cast perfectly for the role!

The music in "How Awful About Allan" isn't anything that special! Allan's tastes ran towards classical not rock or jazz, after all it was a TV movie!

Olive convinces Allan to get out of the house, but when she leaves him alone for a little bit, he freaks out and tries to drive away despite his vision problems! As would be expected, it doesn't work out very well!!

Allan is haunted by dreams and visions of his sister and his overbearing father, or as Tom Smothers would be expected to tell his brother Dick, "Dad always liked you best!"

Here's a great example of the genius of Curtis Harrington, out of the 73 minutes of runtime for "How Awful About Allan," I'm guessing 20 minutes is seen through Allan's blind eyes! Roll camera, shoot anything, it doesn't matter, he's blind, who cares if the boom mike is in the shot?

Allan spends another 15 minutes of so of the movie, hanging out dazed and confused!

Even though he's blind, Allan sees what's going on all around him, that nobody else seems to notice! The truth is that his sister is really a vindictive lying bitch! She was burned, but she had it fixed a long time ago, and wears the fake scar strictly for sympathy!

After the truth is finally told, Allan's vision is returned, and him and Olive get married, and live happily ever after!

Well, almost, after it's all said and done, there's no time for a happy ending here, as there are still more ghosts in the closet, and Allan's vision leaves him once again!

It truly is sad, "How Awful About Allan!" How awful that it was released as "Psycho 2" in Italy! Pass me another Giallo Shot, per favore!

Monday, March 26, 2012

THE DAY TIME ENDED / Vortex Productions - 1980

It's Monster Monday with Tabonga, here at The Dungeon!.. Here's a little weirdie from the Charles Band gang, directed by the multi-talented B-movie maestro, John 'Bud' Cardos, Bud's first acting role was in Arch Hall's DEADWOOD '76. Jim (MONSTER FROM GREEN HELL) Davis (in his last feature film), Christopher (BIGFOOT) Mitchum and Dorothy (THE BEING) Malone star in this sci-fi adventure about a time warp.

Eegah!! gave us a soundclip for this flick, sooo, push the big red 'GO' button over there next to the hot pink whatchamacallit, now, Ralphie The Tarantula! Here're some sounds from... THE DAY TIME ENDED!

After an explosion of three stars in space, strange things start happening on Earth. This array of swirling lights reminds me of CLOSE ENCOUNTERS from three years earlier.

Then, at the Mojave desert home of the Williams family, this large neon green pyramid appears in the back yard! Natasha Ryan plays the small daughter, Jenny. Before this, Natasha was in KINGDOM OF THE SPIDERS, THE AMITYVILLE HORROR and FATSO.

Later that night, this little space sprite appears in Jenny's bedroom and does some tricks for her. Apparently, because she hugged the pyramid!

Chris Mitchum plays concerned family friend, Richard. Chris and brother James are the acting sons of the iconic Robert Mitchum. And, by the way... It's Miller Time!

Something's preventing the Williams family from leaving their home, what could it be?!

From nowhere, this infernal machine appears. First, it threatningly chases the family around...

Then, it materializes some dinosaur-like beasts in the yard!

After one of the beasts kills the other, it turns it's attention to the house!

Just like in 20 MILLION MILES TO EARTH and PUMPKINHEAD, this thing gets stuck with a pitchfork!

A yellow sphere comes down from the sky and attaches itself to the monster, then, sprinkles some cosmic pixie dust around and disappears the mean old thing!

The time warp seems to be slipping into the future, now, their land is part of a graveyard for machines from the past. Notice the futuristic buildings in the background. They did a crappy job of matching the shadow with the Phantom jet they pasted into the scene, on the right side of the top still.

So, at the end, things have settled down and they all look forward to living in the future...

Saturday, March 24, 2012

UNA LUCERTOLA CON LA PELLE DI DONNA - Ennio Morricone - "Lizard In A Woman's Skin" (1971)

Welcome to Surreal Saturday, and a flick tonight that was musically highly recommended to me by a guy who knows a lot about this kinds of stuff, Brian Horrorwitz over at The Trash Palace! It's called "Una Lucertola Con La Pelle Di Donna," or "Lizard In A Woman's Skin," and I found it to be available over at the Netflix!

Okay, so let's get this train of consciousness rolling! The very original music for "Lizard In A Woman's Skin" was composed by the incredible Ennio Morricone....

....and I've only got one thing to say: "Bitch's Brew!"

A Woman with nightmares, and...

...an indifferent husband...

....and what's it all add up to?

More bad dreams!!

Dreams of death, but are they really dreams?

A woman's been brutally murdered, and the prime suspect is too insane to have been able to do it! What's a detective supposed to do?

All the fine camera work was done by Luigi Kuveiller, who has lent his eye to 101 titles including "Investigation Of A Citizen Above Suspicion," "Andy Warhol's Dracula," "Andy Warhol's Frankenstein, and Dario Argento's "Deep Red."

Here's more of that indifferent husband action!

The very tense and uptight Carol Hammond is played by Brazilian born Florinda Bolkan!

If you're going to have a long chase scene, it should be someplace as cool as this!

Time to turn on the giant dildo!

Florinda Bolkan made quite a killing in Italian cinema with films like "Non Si Sevizia Un Paperino" (Don't Torture A Duckling) and "La Settima Donna" (Last House on The Beach).

They spend the whole movie trying to convince the viewer not to believe what they showed you at the beginning!

One more great shot, and we're almost to the end of this trip!

It's pretty difficult to pursue a murder charge when your star witnesses are this stoned! The actress Penny Brown was in the 1966 ultimate hippie flick "Chappaqua," that featured Ravi Shankar, Allen Ginsberg, William S. Burroughs, Ornette Coleman, Swami Satchidananda, Moondog, and The Fugs! The hippie guy is Mike Kennedy or Michael Volker Kogel, depending on how you want to look at it! Mike has only three total acting gigs, but he was in 28 different movies and TV shows as himself, the lead singer of the very famous 60's Spanish rock band Los Bravos! Los Bravos had the monster top 10 hit "Black Is Black" in 1966!

No surprise ending here!!! Follow your heart, follow your head, sometimes dreams do come true!

Hard to believe, but this actually a poster for a re-titled version of the same movie!!

Monster Music

Monster Music
AAARRGGHHH!!!! Ya'll Come On Back Now, Y'Hear??