Saturday, December 17, 2016

TALES OF THE UNEXPECTED - Roald Dahl - Season 01, Episode 08 - "Neck" (1979)

As much as I'd like to do all 112 episodes of "Tales Of The Unexpected" one by one in order, unfortunately I still have some semblance of a life, so I'm jumping from Season One, Episode One, to Season One, Episode Eight for this evening's Saturday Night Special in The Dungeon!
It's a simple tale with a simple title about some very complicated people, and it's simply called

I find it amusing that Mr. Dahl also wrote children's books! "James and the Giant Peach" was another one of his creations!

This is Somerleyton Hall in Somerleyton, Suffolk, England!
Somerleyton Hall dates back to 1240, but this version of the estate was built in the mid 1800's, and is open to the public for tour at a meager price if you're ever in the area!

In this story, Michael Aldridge is the lord of the manor as Sir Basil Turton! Sir Basil likes to collect very large scultures and put them in his garden! Michael was a staple on British TV for four decades or more!

Paul Herzberg is John Bannister, an art associate of Sir Basil's that he has brought home for the weekend! Paul was also in another "Tales Of The Unexpected" titled "A Time To Die," 9 years later!

The always lovely and fun to watch Joan Collins is Sir Basil's wife Natalia. She is a slut!!
You gotta love Joan Collins. She was "The Siren" in the "Batman" TV show, she has been on "Star Trek," "Space:1999," and two other "Tales Of The Unexpected!" She was also in "Empire Of The Ants" before going on to be in 209 episodes of "Dynasty" from 1981 to 1989! If she was making around $120,000.00 per episode as I have read, then that means she made a little over 24 million dollars for that gig, and she's still active! What an amazing woman!

Peter (Blow-Up, The Legend Of Hell House) Bowles is Major Haddock, Natalia's secret lover! Peter was on almost every cool 60's British TV show, like f'rinstance, "The Protectors," "Secet Agent," "The Avengers," and "The Prisoner!" Like Joan Collins, Peter is still working today!

These two are not very good about hiding what's going on!

 You'd never see a painting on the wall like that in a 1979 American TV show, I guarantee!
Classic Shakespearean actor John (The Elephant Man) Gielgud is mafnificent as Jelks the butler!

 Playin' footsies at dinner with the young new guest, and then when the lights go out, she sneaks up to his room!

 B U S T E D!!!

 After a night of infidelity, what else would you want to do than walk through this garden of very large sculptures with the man whose wife you were screwing?

 See, it wasn't even what you thought!

 But it could have belonged to this guy, Mr. Cool!

The next day, Major Haddock and Natalia go horseback riding and a romp in the hay, and then decide to have some fun with Sir Basil's new acquisition!

But all the fun comes to a screeching halt when Natalia gets her head stuck in the sculpture!

For a couple of minutes, it turns into a "Three Stooges" episode!

Sir Basil had caught sight of the happy couple kissing and carrying on through a window, so he let it go on for a while before coming out with some bag balm or something to smear all over Natalia like the greased pig that she is!

When that didn't work, Sir Basil decides to chop the sculpture in two, but he just might have missed!
Well, now you know why it was called "Neck!"


TC said...

Nobody played a seductive femme fatale or a conniving gold-digger better than Joan.

EEGAH!! said...

That's right TC, Joan was very good at being bad!!

Monster Music

Monster Music
AAARRGGHHH!!!! Ya'll Come On Back Now, Y'Hear??