Monday, September 19, 2011

TEENAGE CAVE MAN / Malibu Productions - 1958

Welcome to Monster Monday with Tabonga, here at The Dungeon!.. Our offering tonite is one unbelievable 65 minute flick that had the working title of PREHISTORIC WORLD!

Roger Corman is a weirdo!! I guess if I had to describe this movie, I'd say it's a Mickey Mouse Frankenstein Monster! Man, that guy could get away with murder... And, he'd just turn right back around and do it again!! Get this, Corman denies that he ever directed a film called TEENAGE CAVE MAN! An alternate title is I WAS A TEENAGE CAVEMAN.

And, a voice said... "Let there be light!"

The animals were created and they were fruitful... And, multiplied!

The music is by, who else, Albert Glasser! You can definitely identify some of his familiar imposing musical strains in the soundclip. We love Albert here at The Dungeon, he's responsible for scaring our pants off in flicks like PORT SINISTER, BEGINNING OF THE END, THE CYCLOPS, THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN, WAR OF THE COLOSSAL BEAST, EARTH vs THE SPIDER and MONSTER FROM GREEN HELL!

The atomic clock on the wall sez it's time to bring in our fuzzy lil' Dungeon helper and button pusher, Ralphie The Tarantula! He's joined us here for one reason, yes, to start our Eariffic Soundclip! Push the big red 'GO' button, now, Ralphie! Here's... TEENAGE CAVEMAN!

Good old Bronson Canyon!..

Son, mom said to tell you that you need to take out the trash...

Tell mom, I don't wanna!..

Nice cut from another movie, Roger!.. You're a real genius!.. You and Jerry!

You can tell that the boys really are not enjoying their little trek through the swamp water at the arboritum! Beautiful shot, though!

Robert Vaughn tells the other teens a joke to liven their spirits! There's Jonathan Haze and Beach Dickerson. In an interview, Robert said this was the worst movie he'd ever been in!

How ta meat'cha!!..

Beach Dickerson's character is killed off early (cavemen can't swim) because he also has to play the stranger riding in from the burning plains, the bear that attacks the hunting party, and even the drummer during a funeral for his own character here! Incidently, Beach made the monster for CREATURE FROM THE HAUNTED SEA. Whoa, this just popped into my head, I wonder if he reused the monster prop from PHANTOM FROM 10,000 LEAGUES to create his? Interesting...

Everbloody assembles on the mountainside to greet the returning teenagers as they bring back their dead classmate.

Oh... She'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes...
She'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes...
She'll be comin' round the mountain...

She'll be...

What the Hell!!..

Having to play the fruiti-flute was probably the main reason that Robert detested this flick. It would be mine!

When the shaman's forced to reveal the proof of the word, this is what they find!

Ready for this?!.. Here's Ed Nelson as one of the blondies. Check out the stylish headband he got at the local head shop! All he's missing is shades!!

You better stick 'em up mister monster, or else I'll shoot you with my little bow and arrow, I will!

Robert tries to make friends with the odd looking thing, but, caveman Frank DeKova drops a 60 lb. rock on it's skull! What I want to know is, how in the heck did he get that thing up there??!!..

The head comes off to reveal an old, old man was inside the costume. Before he dies, he hands them a book he's kept in his possession.

It shows pictures of a different, modern looking world.

This is one tired old monster suit. First, it was CURUCU, BEAST OF THE AMAZON, then it was the BLOOD BEAST FROM OUTER SPACE, and finally... This!

My dad took me to see CURUCU in '56!

The last thing he tells them is that man had created weapons that had destroyed the world and man reverted back to cavemen again!..

There's even a shot of THE SHE-CREATURE as a mutant being created by radiation from the destruction. Paul Blaisdell will live forever!!


D. McEwan said...

"In an interview, Robert said this was the worst movie he'd ever been in!"

Without disputing the truth of Vaughn's statement, I will merely say that is something, given he was also in Superman III.

My, didn't Jonathon Haze have a nice bod back then. I ran into Haze about two years ago, and he volunteered the info that he had read my first book, and told me he really enjoyed it. Too cool for school that day was.

I do love Robert Vaughn's prehistoric hairstyle in this always hilariously awful movie.

zillagord said...

Just for the record, I read this. And just made the lobby card my wallpaper.

Anonymous said...

I'd still watch it, even if it turns out to be a bad movie lol

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