Saturday, January 29, 2011

TURIST ÖMER UZAY YOLUNDA aka "The Turkish Star Trek" (1973)

Well, the way things were going, Shock just wasn't working out, so with the line up we've got planned, I was going to change it to Silly Saturday, then I considered Schizoid Saturday, maybe Sardonic Saturday, or we could get really interactive and go for Suggestion Saturday, but I think I've settled on Sarcastic Saturday for a week or two!

It really doesn't matter much right now, because any kind of logic you try and use will be thrown out with the Saturday Suds when you're dealing with something like what we've got tonight! I was blind, and it took the wisdom of Professor Grewbeard to open my eyes, so I could see, and share it with you, so here you go...without further's the "Turkish Star Trek!"

"Turkish Star Trek," those are words that are just not meant to be used together, and make for an Experience I'm pretty sure even Jimi wouldn't have been ready for! Wow, man, what the F was that??

Okay, let's roll, here's Erol Amaç as the notorious Mr. Spak!! Well, it's kinda close, at least he can lift one eyebrow!

Cemil Sahbaz is Kaptan Kirk!

The theme music in "Turist Ömer Uzay Yolunda" is uncredited, and in typical form, is an over modulated ripoff of the "Star Trek" theme with a big chunk of The Marketts' "Out Of Limits" sloppily injected into the middle of it! What a pack of cards!!

In typical fashion, the boys beam down to some enigmatic planet, replete with a mad scientist, and an army of android robots wearing nothing but faux animal fur briefs!

Pretty cool place to shoot a movie for probably nothing!

Most people agree that the plot seems to be based on the "Man-Trap" episode of "Star Trek!"

In order to add some local colour, they write the whole story around Sadri Alisik as the ever annoying Turist Ömer in the title! Check out Ömer's best man, he's holding Ömer at gunpoint!! Ömer's bride must be his sister! This would be the 8th movie Sadri Alisik would make as the character Ömer The Turist, finishing up a run that started in 1964 with, what else but "Ömer the Tourist!"

Right about the time he was about to take the vow, Ömer is saved from the shotgun wedding by being mysteriously whisked away into this "Star Trek" episode, and on to the same planet as the crew, where he is immediately picked up by one of the Androids!

A big scary monster attacks Kaptan Kirk!!!

The main story line centers around a changeling monster that sucks in more than one way! The creature goes from taking over one human form to the next, so they never know which person he's in, except if they would notice, every time he takes over somebody, that person starts fiddling with and sucking their hands a lot! The creature craves salt!! Right now the creature is inside Ferdi Merter, as Doktor McCoy! Unlike a lot of the others, Ferdi continued working, and was in 23 episodes of the Turkish TV show, "Aci Hayat" as Sefa Kervancioglu in 2005-06!

Sabotage is afoot and Ömer is transfixed by the phantom girl of his dreams!!

Mr. Spak too is taken in by the ruse, and falls in love instantly with his own personal type of Turkish Vulcan dream girl!!

Kaptan Kirk can't get through Dr. Spak's thick skull what the heck is going on, so a battle between to two men ensues, because Spak really wants this gal!!

Mr. Spak attempts to deliver the final blow!!

Take that, Mofo!!

After they snap out of it, a ferocious battle takes place between the guys and the android army!

In classic form, Ömer saves the day!!!

And of course, the mad scientist is stopped dead in his tracks!!

The salt sucking monster is finally exposed in it's true body form, and viciously attacks Kaptan Kirk!!

After it all gets sorted out, they return Ömer back to where he came from.....

......and The Enterprise and it's krew shove off back into space with a bunch of smug looks on their face because they all know how cool they are!!


Prof. Grewbeard said...

i also love how every time a door opens on the "Enterprise" you can someone going "Whooossssssssh!"...

zillagord said...

I feel as if I have been whisked into an alternate dimension ala the "Mirror, Mirror" episode-- better check to see if I am now sporting a beard. Weirdsville!

Gotta see this, it looks truly awful. Thanks for enduring it for our benefit.

TABONGA! said...

Eye love those Bellies on them Bikini Babes!

Greg Goodsell said...

The Turkish film you have to see is TURKISH STAR WARS!

Jonas 'Reptilicus' said...

More film people should use tracks from "Ventures In Space", the "Out Of Limits" is their version, also the touching "feeding the flesh-eating flowers" scene uses "Fear (Theme From One Step Beyond)". Thanks for this great tip and for your lovely of course!

Texas Dervish said...

Music for the early scenes on the planet is stolen shamelessly from Pink Floyd's album _Echoes_.

Eegah!! said...

That's funny, it just so happens that I have a Hong Kong copy of Pink Floyd's "Meddle" on sale on Ebay right now that has the song "Echoes" on it!

Monster Music

Monster Music
AAARRGGHHH!!!! Ya'll Come On Back Now, Y'Hear??