Friday, November 3, 2017

PREHISTORIC WOMEN / Seven Arts Productions, Hammer Films - 1967

Here's a little tale about David, a jungle guide that's kidnapped by a tribe of natives who want to sacrifice him to their white rhino god. Just as he's about to be killed he's thrown back in time to a kingdom of brunette women who have blonde slaves! David rejects the advances of Queen Kari and sides with the blondes, which leads to him being imprisoned.

This thing stars Martine (DR. JEKYLL & SISTER HYDE) Beswick as Queen Kari, Edina (THE BLACK TORMENT) Ronay as Saria and Michael (HAMMER HOUSE OF HORROR) Latimer as David.

David is out exploring an area he's not familiar with and comes across this carving of a white rhino on the ground! But, what does it mean, George?!..

It's not long before some natives show up and David becomes their prisoner, now what?!

He's taken into a cave where he's ready to face death. Inside, he notices a large carved white stone rhino confronting him.

David's ass is saved when Queen Kari shows up and claims him for herself! She's especially attracted to him because of his dark hair, I'd say!

Kari gets first place with this move in the yearly Cave Girl Dance Off spectacular!

But, wouldn't you know it, David falls for blonde slave girl, Saria! So, what do you think might happen if Kari discovered the love triangle?.. Exac-tik-takily!!

We're sick of being freakin' slave girls!!

Anyway, the girls get to ride the white rhino, but, will David get back to the modern world, or, will he end up trapped in the past? Watch the movie to find out...

Last thing up is a lobby card from the original movie with that title, this one's from 1951 and was filmed in vibrant Cinecolor! Tune in tomorrow for more cool junk for your measly soul...

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