Friday, March 18, 2022

COMICOLOR / "Jack And The Beanstalk" - 1933

Here's an oldie from the Ub Iwerks studios, and it's a little different from the original story. Also, it's kind of an opera with everyone singing and rhyming their lines.

So, Jack's mother is distraught, they have no money for food...

Even the pet goldfish is in need of some nourishment!

Jack takes their cow to the butcher shop, and the butcher offers him some gold coins for her.

But this strange character appears and offers Jack three 'magic' beans for the cow.

The deal is made, Jack decides to trade the cow for the beans!

Needless to say, mom is NOT HAPPY about the trade, and throws the beans out the window into the yard.

After it rains that night, Jack wakes up to a giant bean stalk that has grown outside his bedroom window!

He climbs the beanstalk and finds a big castle in the clouds...

Jack rings the doorbell and a giant woman comes to the door, she sees him and is surprised to say the least! The little guy runs through her legs and goes inside.

She grabs him, dips him in mustard, puts him in a bun and starts to gobble him down.

But she gets interrupted when the boss man comes home.

The giant pulls out his magical harp and orders the little nymph to play for him. Well, at least he's a music lover!

Then he has his hen lay some golden eggs. He cracks them open and gold coins fall out into his money pouch!

The harp grabs Jack, Jack grabs the pouch, and they make their escape.

Back at home, Jack grabs an ax and starts chopping away on the stalk.

This shot of the giant coming down the vine upside down is just plain crazy!

The giant ends up falling to the ground and basically buries himself!

All is good in the end, Jack and his mom are now wealthy and have everything they could ever want, bringing our tale to a happy ending...

Wednesday, March 16, 2022

BURKE'S LAW - "Who Killed Purity Mather?" (1963)

 
Tonight's Wild and Wacky Wednesday presentation is another episode of "Burke's Law." This one was Episode 11, from Season 01, and it's a fun one!
Click HERE, and you can get a good feel for how good just one element, the music, was on this show!

 
This episode was titled "Who Killed Purity Mather?" and was once again, suggested by my good friend Lord Litter in Berlin, and the coolest thing is, you can watch right it here for free courtesy of the Internet Archive. Now if you just happen to want to throw them five or ten bucks, it's always greatly appreciated, and officially a donation to charity, so feel free to do so!

 
This is the aforementioned Purity Mather as played by Enid Jaynes. Most of Enid's 18 credits were in TV westerns like "Johnny Ringo" "The Rifleman," and "Have Gun - Will Travel."
Purity Mather is a witch, and apparently there are a lot of people who wish she was dead!

 
Like this person who shows up in the middle of Purity's ceremony, throws acid in her face, and sets the place on fire!

 
Amos Burke is in the middle of nice evening with a beautiful woman named Sugar, which brings me to the main thing about this show. It's just chock full of wacky characters played by a grand assortment of actors and actresses. Sugar was played by the marvelous Mary Ann Mobley, in one of her first appearances anywhere. Mary Ann would go on to be in four more episodes of "Burke's Law" as four different characters.

 
Burke's main man, sidekick, and driver Henry, delivers a special delivery record that just arrived. Leon (City Beneath The Sea) Lontoc played Henry in 64 of the 81 episodes of "Burke's Law."

 
Everybody should know what a record player is, but probably most people under the age of 40 don't know why this record player has an extended spindle on it. That was so you could put a stack of records on, and they would drop one at a time after they each played. While it might of seemed like a good idea at the time, this concept is probably responsible for the devastation of more records than anything, especially on the outer ring that was constantly in contact with the record above it and the record below it. Add a little dust, and it's every record collector's nightmare.

 
The record came from Purity Mather, and explains that she is going to be murdered. It's accompanied by a short list of people who she claims might be responsible for her untimely death, and instantly gives Burke a list of suspects. Too bad, but Burke has to say good night to Sugar!

 
The only recognizable thing on Purity's badly scarred and burnt body is this mark!

 
Now it's time to bring in this phenomenal cast of characters, start with Telly (Kojak) Savalas with hair, as Fakir George O'Shea. Sorry, but I can't talk about Telly Savalas without at least mentioning his daughter Ariana, who performs with Post Modern Jukebox on a regular basis, because for as cool as Telly is, that's how Hot Ariana is!!

 
Next up is Charlie (Bringing Up Baby) Ruggles as slightly weird creeper I.A. Bugg, and his lady of the night friend named Girl Girl, as played by Nancy (Jason And The Argonauts) Kovack. From 1949 to 1952, Charlie had his own TV show called what else but "The Ruggles." Mr. Bugg hires Girl Girl to scream as he chases her around, so she lets out a little scream every time he says anything. They are quite the couple!

 
For obvious reasons, Nancy was featured in one of my posts titled "25 Good Reasons To Watch Olde Movies." She is hilarious in this role as Girl Girl.

 
Couldn't leave out this marquee shot of the Studio City Theatre. Too bad that there's not really a movie called "The Creature That Ate NY," but I guess we just have to be happy with "The Eggplant That Ate Chicago!"

 
The next suspect on the list is Count Carlo Szipesti, a real life vampire making an appearance at the opening of the movie. The Count is played by Marlon Brando's best buddy, the always funny Wally Cox!
 
 
Just using Wally Cox as a vampire is hilarious unto itself, but then have him be parked in front of the threatre in his hearse/camper home, and there's no way you're going to go wrong!

 
As the patrons of the theatre stare in his window, the Count makes menacing faces at them, before offering Burke, what else but a Bloody Mary of course. Burke declines for some reason!

 
Next stop is a nudist colony. It might not seem that risky or risque by today's standards, but to imply that people were naked on a 1963 TV show was almost unheard of. For goodness sake, Dick Van Dyke and Mary Tyler Moore were still sleeping in separate beds on The "Dick Van Dyke" TV show!

 
Rina Jacobs is yet another suspect as played by Janet Blair. Janet was Lynn Arthur in "The Outer Limits" episode "Tourist Attraction."

 
Last but not least on the list of wild and wacky suspects The Captain and Detective Tilson have to interview, is glorious Gloria (Sunset Blvd) Swanson, as a totally nutty woman named Venus Hekate Walsh, who envisions herself to really be Venus, The Goddess Of Love.

 
In the end, Sugar breaks the bad news to Amos Burke that she's getting married to an Orthodontist the upcoming Wednesday, so she has to break their date on Thursday, and he responds with "How about Saturday?" and she says "Okay."
  "Burke's Law" is almost the perfect program. It has all the campy humor and all-star casts like the "Batman" TV series, but it's serious enough to take real, and it's a marriage made in heaven for lovers of 60's pop culture.

Monday, March 14, 2022

MONSTROSITY In Color - 1963

Here's a recently colorized sci-fi flick, originally filmed in 1958, it wasn't released until 1963 because the money ran out before production was finished, followed by years of re-editing until the producers were ready to release it. Alternate title is THE ATOMIC BRAIN.

The story's about a wealthy old woman who plots with a scientist to have her brain transplanted into a sexy young woman. It stars Marjorie Eaton as Mrs. March, Frank Gerstle as Dr. Frank, Frank Fowler as Victor, Erika Peters as Nina, Judy Bamber as Bea and Lisa Lang as Anita. Also, Bradford Dillman was the narrator.

We start with this guy, one of Dr. Franks weird experiments, who also serves as his helper when needed. The MST guys refer to him as Stephen Stills!

Here's Dr. Frank's latest creation, a walking dead girl.

Mrs. March is interested in such things, as she plans on getting a body like that one soon...

Speaking of bodies, Mrs. March is waiting impatiently for her assistant, Victor, to return from the airport with three European women that she can pick out her new body from...

Mrs. March has the girls strip down so that she can check out what she'll look like in a few days from now.

Probably the most disturbing thing in the movie is the way she looks at the girls, with pure delight, fantasizing about the way she's going to look! The girls think she's a little weird, and they have no idea what she has in store for them.

Anita is the odd girl out, Dr. Frank has a special experiment he wants to perform on her, like, giving her a cat's brain!.. Hmmm.

Well, Anita gets her cat brain and immediately scratches one of Bea's eyes out! Then later, Anita falls off the roof to her death!

Bea is kept under sedation by Dr. Frank until he can give her a new eye later on.

Nina begs Victor (who hates Mrs. March) to help her, which he does. He has her sign the legal papers so that she will inherit the estate...

But, guess who was standing behind the curtain? Victor gets it in the back!

So, it's time for the operation to put Mrs. March's brain in Nina's body.

So, Nina wakes up to find out that Dr. Frank put the old lady's brain in the cat!! How?? Then Dr. Frank decides he needs to get rid of Nina to get the inheritance. He goes into the radiation room to get it prepared for Nina, but...

The cat with Mrs. March's brain locks the door behind the doctor, flips a switch, drops some levers and pushes the 'danger' button. Crap, he should not have shown the old biddy how the damn thing is operated, oops!

Now it's the doctor's turn to face the atomic music!

The place is starting to shake as the atomic machine goes into self destruction. Bea gets to the lab and helps Nina get loose.

But, Bea sees her new eyeball and goes to look at it, and gets a face full of fire and radiation!

Goodnight sweet Bea!

Nina barely gets out of the place alive, before...

The place goes up in flames! Nina runs away, followed by the cat with Mrs. March's brain! Well, there you go.. don't play with atomic matches, kids!

Monster Music

Monster Music
AAARRGGHHH!!!! Ya'll Come On Back Now, Y'Hear??