CITTÀ VIOLENTA - "Violent City" (1970)

Tonight's Saturday Night Special is probably the artiest action/adventure flick you'll see lately! It's a strange Italian film directed by Sergio (Devil in the Brain) Sollima called "Città Violenta" or "Violent City" that stars Charles Bronson!

After the success of "The Godfather," "Violent City" was renamed and released as "The Family!"

Charles Bronson was, and has always been, just cool! He doesn't hardly even have to act! He just has to show up, and that's good enough, and better than most! Here's just three reasons why Charles Bronson is a Dungeon Hero, "House Of Wax," "Man With A Camera," and "The Magnificent Seven!"

There's always a girl to blame, and in this case it's Jill (Girls of the Latin Quarter, Jungle Street Girls) Ireland!

I really don't think I would like driving on this road very much!

"Violent City" ain't exactly James Bond, so they spend zero amount of time explaining how gizmos and gadgets work. I don't remember any remote controlled drones being around in 1970, so I'm not sure exactly how he was able to get this view of what was going on at the racetrack!

But he could see good enough to put a slug in this driver's cranium!

In case you failed to notice, the violent city in question is New Orleans!

This is exactly the reflection you don't want to see when looking in a mirror!

Charles Bronson's nemesis in this film is El Pelon Rico Suave himself, Telly (Kojak) Savalas!! Freakin' nice bar buddy!! 

Telly might have left us long ago, but his daughter Ariana still carries the family torch of coolness!

Ariana has been performing with Post Modern Jukebox, and is not only a talented singer but also Hotter than Hell!! And here's a video to prove my point!

Here's a piece of advice for you! Don't fall in love with a hit man, and if you do, don't run out on him!

Charles tramples all over her fashion pictures because he just doesn't care anymore!

Hard to believe that an old paddle wheel can just be abandoned! History, what a pain in the ass!

They make it seem that Telly is about 10 years older than Charles for the plot, but in reality, Charles Bronson was a couple of months older than Telly Savalas!

I would be willing to bet that Charles Bronson speaks less than 1000 words in this movie! Most on his on screen time is just spent looking badass!

You can only fuck with a person for so long! Eventually you're going to have to pay!

The music in "Violent City" was composed by the Maestro Ennio Morricone, and is very cool throughout, so I'm guessing this soundtrack LP would be a pretty good listen, if you could find one!!

THE SPHINX / Monogram Pictures - 1933

Here's a little thriller from 1933 we ain't done yet, so's, here ya go!.. A man known to be a mute is suspected of committing a murder, as he was noticed at the scene. But, a witness saw and heard him talking as he was leaving the scene of the crime! The police then have to determine if he is the actual killer or if he's being framed.

It stars Lionel (SON OF FRANKENSTEIN) Atwill, Sheila (A SCREAM IN THE NIGHT) Terry, Theodore (THE HIDDEN EYE) Newton, Paul (ISLAND OF LOST SOULS) Hurst and Luis (THE BLACK CAT) Alberni.

It all starts when a man is found dead, and, a witness says that Jerome Breen (aka The Sphinx and known to be a deaf mute) was at the scene of the crime and was talking to him. So, there's a trial to figure out what the Hell is going on!

During the trial, Breen's doctor testifies that he has been a deaf mute his entire life, so, he's declared not guilty by the court and released.

The cops still think that Breen's their man. They go to his house to question him but his butler wants them to leave.

After the cops are gone, the butler goes to the piano and hits the last key, which then opens a wall panel, revealing a hidden room! Hmmm...

Later, our heroine, Jerry, attempts to break the case herself and agrees to meet Breen at his place. He writes her a note saying that he wants to see more of her and then tries to kiss her!!

Jerry plays the piano and hits the last key on the piano...

The wall panel opens up and she's now surrounded by two men with the same damn face!

The cops have the place surrounded and when they hear Jerry screaming, they break into Breen's house. No Jerry. Through a series of events, Detective Hogan is cleaning ashes from his cigar off the piano and accidentally presses that last key, opening the panel again.

The second Breen (the real deaf mute who Breen one is impersonating) comes wandering out and the cops shoot him dead!

The cuffs are put on the murderer and the cops are ready to take him away, when, he falls to the ground, dead! He has used an ancient Egyptian ring that pricks the skin on his finger and he poisons himself! Well, we only have one more post tomorrow before we begin our yearly Halloween Countdown lineup, so, get ready for that!

THE MAD MAGAZINE TV SPECIAL - "The Usual Gang Of Idiots" (1974)

Welcome to the Weird Wednesday version of The Dungeon!
Let's get serious!!!

 In 1974, MAD magazine did a TV Special." I never saw it because I didn't have a television in 1974! Pre-National Lampoon, and long before Saturday Night Live, or even Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In, MAD was always leading the way, and as far as I can tell, not really getting as much credit as they should! They never bowed down to political correctness or political pressure! "The Usual Gang of Idiots" did whatever they wanted to!

Let's face it! It's hard to be politically correct and funny too, because most funny things are offensive! It's just the nature of the beast!

They rip the auto industry a new one with all kinds of gags about stupidity and dishonesty!
This is the team coming up with new accessory ideas!

This guy is one of the most important in the company! He's making sure there's no loopholes in the fine print of the sales contracts that might cost the company any money should anything go haywire!

This was thought to be the building that housed the "Safety and Research" department, but is actually an indoor golf course for the company big shots!

This is the real "Safety and Research" department building before it collapses!

44 years later, and industry and government still think that putting up signs instead of fixing things is a good solution!
This is a big problem with modern society!

In between the skits are animated one shots! Done in Don Martin style, the joke here is the duck is the family pet, and the boy is his inflated toy! That's MAD!

This is a series of pictures of what you could see, if you could see the truth!

The Doctor is supposed to be busy, but is really working on his putting!

Inside the suggestion box is a shredder!

There is no difference in the quality of regular and super gasoline!

"Academy Awards For Parents" is a fairly stupid segment!

Another Don Martin cartoon has a guy on a desert island! He picks the flower which creates a big hole and sinks the island of course!

You know this is going to insult hospital workers everywhere, but did MAD care? Hell No!

 In 1967, in issue #115, MAD printed a bogus three dollar bill with the likeness of Alfred E. Neuman on it, and anybody who saw it would immediately know that it was a stupid joke! Anybody that is except for new money changing machines that had just entered the marketplace in laundromats etc. It got to be quite a sticky wicket!

"The Oddfather" goes on way too long! More Don Martin would have been more fun!

 Man, the F.B.I. were busy in the 60's having to keep their eyes on Lenny Bruce and Alfred E. Neuman!

 What scary times!! I'm surprised any of us made it!

"What, Me Worry?!"

MAD magazine was a big part of my youth, and had a big effect on my wry sense of humor. It was satire and it was parody, they got away with it, and I loved it!  Honestly, I didn't even know if MAD existed any more! I mean, do any printed magazines exist anymore besides rags like People you see while you're standing in line at the grocery store, but I guess they do, and more power to them!

 MAD MAGAZINE today!