LIGHTS OUT / "The Angry Birds" - 1951

Here's a weird one for you, it's all about how an act of revenge that turns into a real nightmare when birds fight back...

It stars John (IN COLD BLOOD) Forsythe, Constance (GOG) Dowling, Vaughn (PSYCHO) Taylor, Warren (SHOCK TREATMENT) Parker, James (TORPEDO RUN) Winslow and Frank (Voiced 3 cartoons in the forties) Gallop.

Frank immediately gets in your face and asks you a few personal lead in questions before he fades to black before the story starts.

Waldo Bryan is a talented artist but has left the big city to live in the country where his attention has turned to illustrating birds (he's obsessed with them) instead of making lots of money from his usual publisher. His wife Adele is resentful, she misses the money and the big city social scene.

What's bothering Waldo is that his canary is not in its cage and he cannot understand how it escaped. And, why did Adele let their cat outside without its collar with bells on it, so that the birds can fly away before the cat can get them. In other words, he loves birds.

His neighbor Mr. Hanson pays a visit and notices that the birds are acting very strange with all their chatter. They never show the birds but play a soundtrack with lots of bird sounds.

Then Waldo notices his pet canary in the water bowl, apparently killed by their cat.

Waldo comes back into the house to ask Adele why she let this happen. Well, because she wants to go back to the city. She also tells him that he's a weak person, and has the heart of a bird!

His publisher pays him a visit to ask him to come back to the city, for Adele's sake, she just isn't a country girl and all...

There's a commotion outside, Waldo and Mr. Hanson try and get the cat out from under the steps because it has a bird and is mauling it unmercifully.

Waldo begs Adele to call the cat out, it will listen to her, but she refuses!

The sound of the bird crying out grinds on Waldo's soul, it's hard for him to take.

Adele thinks that her plan to get Waldo to move back to the city is a big success...

She decides to leave for the city, Waldo can follow later, but when she goes out the door she's greeted by a horde of angry birds!!

She runs back into the house where Waldo tells her that the birds will not forget and they are going to follow her for the rest of her life! His bond with the birds tells him that they will never forget!

Get ready... Waldo goes into the yard and lets the birds deep six him, much to the horror of Adele! DON'T MESS WITH THE BIRDIES!!

KATNIP KOLLEGE - "One Hep Kat's Tail" (1938)

 

Tonight's swingin' Weird Wednesday Featurette is called "Katnip Kollege," a kool seven minute Warner Brothers - Merrie Melodies kartoon from 1938.

 

Kool kudos are in order for the animation krew that consisted of Joe D'Igalo, Herman Cohen, Art Loomer, Rod Scribner, and Volney White.

 

For some reason, the only klass that's popular is "Swingology," and as you can see, the other dullology klass rooms haven't even been entered in some time!

The Professor is naturally one swingin' kat, with a voice provided by another swingin' kat, Mel Blanc!

Mr. Jones recites his history lesson in a killer swingin' fashion that matches the duds he has on!

The Professor has a nice collection of persuasive percussion!!

Then we get to see if Miss Kitty Bright did her homework right!

Kitty's voice was provided by "The Little Ray of Sunshine," Mabel Todd.

Just because they're a bunch of swingers doesn't mean they still can't pull a prank on the Professor's posterior!

But there's always gotta be one square in the group, and in this one, it's little Johnny who can't tell a "bo do o bo, from a ding a ling ding."

Wow, this sure wouldn't kut it today. They ridicule Johnny for not being a hep cat!

And the bad part is that the klass is dismissed, and they just leave him there!

The voice of Johnny was trumpet player, sometimes band leader Johnnie Davis.

Later that night, all the kool kats get together for a jam session with a full moon shining down on them!

 

"Katnip Kollege" is chock full of great music for any lovers of the "Swing Era." 

The vocal group performing most of the klassic tunes were known as "The Pied Pipers."

The Pied Pipers were very popular in the 1940's with twelve songs making the charts. Over the years, the group had many different members, toured with Frank Sinatra, and one of the koolest things they ever did was sing the dreamy backup vocals on Sam Cooke's killer hit, "You Send Me" in 1957.

 

Listening to the metronome of the tick tocking klock hits Johnny like an aftershock, and he suddenly just gets it, and can now feel the beat!

 

Johnny heads directly over to the jam, and "Just as easy as rolling cigarettes," he now knows what to do, and all the other kats dig him, especially Kitty!

Whoa! Suddenly Johnny is all hands, but Kitty doesn't seem to mind!

In the end, it was all so easy for Johnny, "As easy as rolling off a log," which they end up doing together!

It was also too easy for the two of them to fall in love!

ROBOT MONSTER / Monsters Attack Earth! - 1953

In this truly insane, super cheap movie by Phil Tucker, Ro-Man shows up on Earth and destroys all but six people on the planet, and spends the whole movie trying to bring their demise, until he gets the hots for the girl called Alice!

Holy cow!!.. It's beyond belief what the producers thought they were going to do with a measly $16,000, and in 3-D no less. I can only imagine what the audience must have thought (fooled by the poster) when they saw it, it's so pathetic. I would have demanded my money back! But, how do you erase it from your brain... It's also known as MONSTERS FROM THE MOON and MONSTER FROM MARS!

The poor stars are George Nader as Roy, Claudia Barrett as Alice, Selena Royle as Mother, John Mylong as the Professor, Gregory Moffitt as Johnny, Pamela Paulson as Carla and George Barrows as Ro-Man.

Things get going when Johnny and Carla are wandering around in Bronson Canyon and see two men doing something in a cave. Johnny takes his space helmet off to talk to the men who are there looking for rock samples.

But, mom and big sister Alice show up, time for a nice picnic amongst the rocks and in the hot sun! Lovely spot Phil! Then, even stupider, they all lay down and take a nap there! But Johnny gets up and starts wandering around again...

He goes back to the cave and finds some dude dressed up in a gorilla suit with a cheesy space helmet glued on, playing with his bubble machine. Didn't know the circus was in town!

Ro-Man (should be Ro-Ape!) tunes in his view screen and finds the Professor and his family. He has a dire warning for them, he is NOT their friend!

Roy shows up and wants to help, but when Alice says that he's too bossy, he says... Bossy! You should be milked before you come home at night! Wow, the good old days!

Now, this part gives me fits... It looks like someone smashed this electrical unit with a sledge hammer, but Alice just lays a soldering iron (that's not even on!!) on the mess and that's what she thinks will fix it. She does this shit for like two days and finally gives up, but not for lack of trying.

I want to hurt you Phil Tucker! You make poor Alice look like a doofus, when it is YOU that is the doofus!

From the Moon I guess, the Great Guidance blows the rocket ship and its two crew members the Hell up! Good riddance to another crappy movie model!

After listening to Ro-Man's tripe, Alice decides she's going to talk with the monster and maybe she can save the world! She's immediately restrained and tied up... But now, Johnny's gone missing!

Johnny has tracked down Ro-Man and wants to know what's his beef with them. The kid let's it slip that the reason the death ray doesn't work on them is because they all took the Professor's serum! Oh no, now Ro-Man can recalculate, and bring them down - Try and fit that one into some logic circles. Johnny runs away to tell the Professor that he screwed up big time! The shot of Ro-Man shaking his fist at Johnny always cracks me up.

So, Roy and Alice get married and go on their honeymoon. Soon after that though, Carla is being buried, she went up to Ro-Man and told him that he can't hurt her because her dad would protect her. Ro-Man reaches over and chokes her out!! Roy runs into the funeral scene and says Ro-Man has Alice, then keels over dead!!

Ro-Man gets frisky and wants to see what Alice gots hidden in there...

Ro-Man gets distracted and has to leave the cave. When he does, the Professor and mom grab Alice and rescue her just in the nick of time.

So, Ro-Man finds Johnny and chokes him out too (yay), then the Great Guidance puts his destructo rays on Ro-Man for being horny, and he's outta here too!!

And the rays cause the dinosaurs' appearance again like at the beginning. This freakin' movie makes minus 13 o' sense!!

Well of course, Johnny bumped his head after he got up during naptime and went exploring. Everything's fine, Roy and the Professor are invited over for dinner by the girls. That's right, it was just a really BAD dream.. Err, MOVIE! AAARGH!!!