A CAR-TUNE PORTRAIT - Fleischer Studios (1937)

I'm Beat! So here's a quickie from the Fleischer Studios in Florida, circa 1937!

"A Car-Tune Portrait" is the simplest of tales!

And they were able to do it with just a handful of people!

It starts with a cartoon artist drawing some of the different characters in a cartoon orchestra!

Then he draws the stage and curtains!

The lion conductor comes out and announces in no certain terms that tonight's concert is to show that a bunch of cartoon characters can actually perform seriously when they want to!

If you want to hear his speech, then click right HERE!

The lion's voice is done by actor and narrator David Ross!

The tune the orchestra chose to perform to show off their chops is "Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2" by Franz Liszt!

I like these two shots of the musician's silhouettes!

It was all going so well, but it doesn't take long for everything to go into the crapper!

As the whole thing breaks down, it turns into one calamity after another!

The lion can't take it any more and completely loses his cool!

And the whole stage turns into one gigantic free-for-all royale rumble!

The lion tries desperately to make them all stop, but it's too late, the damage has been done!

But it's not over without one last final insult!

As it turns out, animated characters can't be trusted to be serious after all!

If you've got seven minutes to kill, and you like frustrated lions, you can find the whole kit and caboodle on right Here on Youtube!

DARK STAR / Bryanston Pictures, Jack H. Harris Enterprises, University of Southern California - 1974

It's time for a visit to this wild little flick directed by John Carpenter in his first full length feature. Before that, John wrote and directed these short movies from 1962-9... REVENGE OF THE COLOSSAL BEAST, TERROR FROM SPACE, WARRIOR AND THE DEMON, SORCEROR FROM OUTER SPACE, GORGO VERSES GODZILLA and GORGON, THE SPACE MONSTER! DARK STAR is about four astronauts in deep space whose mission is to destroy unstable planets in star systems. As their mission draws to completion, they have to cope with a runaway alien, a faulty computer system and a smart bomb that thinks it's God!

I have a wacky sound clip for your approval, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button located there by our exploded world globe, NOW, Ralphie The Tarantula!.. Here's a sample from... DARK STAR!

John Carpenter composed the music for 37 productions, including this one!

After Dark Star blows that planet up, they get the computer readout, mission accomplished!

Here's crewman Pinback trying to get in some tanning time when Boiler comes through, he wants to practice shooting his laser rifle! Pinback is played by Dan O'Bannon. If you know nothing about this guy, well, he went on to write ALIEN, DEAD AND BURIED, BLUE THUNDER, THE RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD, LIFEFORCE, INVADERS FROM MARS, SCREAMERS and many more. And, he was also director of possibly the best zombie flick ever and a personal favorite, THE RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD... This guy is awesome!

Pinback has to go tend the weird space aliens they have captured while on their mission.

Wouldn't you know it, the beach ball alien gives him a hard time and makes Pinback's life miserable by attacking him and pushing him into deadly situations!

Even though Pinback finds a way back to safety, the damn opening is too freaking small!

Planet Bomb #20 is stuck and will not drop, oops... Now what?!

Well, FLIP OUT!!.. That's a good place start...

Doolittle goes out to talk to the bomb, you know, to try and use logic to get it to abort the countdown. Alas, all it can do is reduce the explosion to a mile in diameter!

Everyone gets into their spacesuits and quickly exit the ship, trying to get to a safe distance from the explosion. After the detonation, parts of the ship surround the area.

Since you're going to die in space anyway, you might as well grab a piece of flat metal and surf your way to oblivion!! See us again Wednesday for another piece of our giant movie review puzzle...

SELF MADE MAIDS - The Three Stooges - "Oh Baby!" (1950)

Once you get on a roll with the Stooges, it's hard to stop! So welcome back to the Saturday Night Special Stooge edition of Dwrayger Dungeon!

 "Self Made Maids" was made in 1950, and is one of the most energetic of all the Stooges shorts I've ever seen, at least for the first 7 or 8 minutes anyway!

And this is the major reason why!

 Seeing Larry, Moe, and Shemp decked out as three sisters named Larraine, Moella, and Shempetta is quite a wonder to behold, and will really open your eyes up to how good of actors these guys really were!

 And they play it to the hilt! Some of their female mannerisms are hilarious!

In this shot, Larraine is making adjustments and Shempetta has a run in her stocking!
Check out this short sound clip to cop a feel!

 And when they skip out of the room, you just can't help but snicker!

 The guys are artistes, and the girls are coming to get their portraits painted!

 Larry falls for Moella!

 Shemp goes after Larraine, and.......

 ........Moe thinks Shempetta is so hot it makes his blood boil! He has his hand on a thermometer that is about to explode from all the heat!

 Pretty amazing effect for 1950!

 The guys are trying to get the girls to hold still so they can get their portraits perfect!

But the flowers they were posing with were covered with ants!

 Moe even has the role of the girl's Father!

Shades of "Orphan Black" 64 years earlier!

 So the boys are coming to visit the sisters and meet their Father!

 Unfortunately, they met him earlier before they knew who he was, and it didn't go very well at all!

Consequently, when they meet again, the Father wants to kill Larry, Moe, and Shemp!

 As it winds down, there's a whole lot of chasing and running around in circles to no avail!

 If that wasn't enough, they also play these three guys........

The next thing you know is they're all married and have these wonderful and adorable children!

Now, THAT is a story!

If you want to see it, and I suggest you do, then once again, it's your lucky day thanks to those crazy people over at Youtube!