THE AQUABATS! SUPER SHOW! / "Night Of The Cactus!" - 2012

I thought I'd check out some stuff on Shout Factory and started watching Aquabats. It really feels like a Saturday morning kid show, but I don't know where it originally played. The characters from left to right are.. Jimmy The Robot, Ricky Fitness, MC Bat Commander, Eagle Bones Falconhawk and Crash McLarson. They're a music group supposedly on a world tour. (?)

Anyway, their 'friend' Ronmark has them set up in a tent in the middle of the desert at night, to play a special song for him to woo his ex-girlfriend back into his arms when she arrives.

Unfortunately, a meteorite has just crashed in the hills, so, Ronmark and his girl, Zalga, make up and drive away into the night. Thing is, The Aquabats didn't get paid because they didn't get to play the song before the couple made up!

So, the glowing meteorite is just laying there until it shoots a liquid all over a cactus, and strange things happen.

Since the guys didn't get paid have no money, they decide to find the meteorite and sell it to a scientist or something, for money.

But MC Bat sticks his finger into a hole in the rock, and it immediately mutates his hand into an octopus tentacle!

Ronmark and Zalga are having their own problems, that big old mutant cactus the meteorite created has just kidnapped Zalga.

And, like in a kids show, there's a cartoon!

They have a continuing story going on in a cartoon in every episode. Here, like in FANTASTIC VOYAGE, they have to miniaturize themselves and go inside their friend Jimmy The Robot, through his nose, to find out what the problem is with his functions.

They race along in their van while being chased by who knows what.

They scream a lot because of all the dangers they encounter. I was looking at this scene and could only think of one thing... STEVE DITKO!!

Zalga is starting to think that the cactus likes her, he lets her down a tries to show his affection for her.

The thing even dances for her, and she seems to be enjoying herself.

The Aquabats show up to save the day, but even Eagle Bones fails with his guitar ray!

The Aquabats, Zalga and Ronmark pile into the van for safety while the cactus monster keeps pounding away on the exterior... What to do?,,

Well, it's time for a group sing-along about science as they mix up a formula that will change the cactus back to normal.

They create their mixture, so, Crash tosses the meteorite (they saved) as a diversion so that they can all get out of the van and attack the monster.

Zalga acts as if she is going to save the cactus, but, she grabs the mixture and douses it on the thing herself, and it turns back into a regular old cactus... Yay?!

Zalga straps the cactus to her car and leaves Ronmark in the dust. Later as he's walking away, he sees the meteorite and picks it up, only to be sprayed in the face! This episode makes about as much sense as the world does today, so, we're in good company!

MONSTERS - "The Farmer's Daughter" (1989)

This Wacky Wednesday feature is episode six from season two of the 1989 TV show "Monsters!"

 

Almost as old as the concept of why did the chicken cross the road, jokes about the farmer's daughter have been around for decades.

The farmer's daughter's parents are like Ma and Pa Kettle, except they don't have any last names. Ma was played by Bobo (Blood Bride) Lewis, and Pa was played by George (Old Indy) Hall. Oddly enough, Bobo was also in a 1963 TV series titled "The Farmer's Daughter."

It's a cold and stormy night, so who else but a traveling salesman should show up?

And who might that traveling salesman be? None other than one of the finest comedians in the world, the one and only Soupy Sales as Howard Filby!

Ma and Pa ain't got no phone, and they ain't got no car, so Howard has no choice but to spend the night.

Ma and Pa break out the family photo albums for entertainment!

One of the photos is of a lovely young woman named Lucy as played by Stephanie Phillips who just happens to be Ma and Pa's daughter, she also just happens to be upstairs. Stephanie has only one other credit, and that's as reporter #2 in a TV movie titled "Call Me Anna."

Even the dimmest bulb in the world knows that no matter the time and place, if you sleep with the farmer's daughter, you damn well better keep your grubby mitts off of her, or there's gonna be trouble. Howard doesn't seem to understand the concept as he stares upstairs in delight!

Ma rigs up a 'modesty sheet' between Howard and Lucy just to keep him honest in his intentions.

Howard just can't take talking to a sexy silhouette any longer, so he eventually talks Lucy into revealing herself.

It's love at first sight for Howard Firby.

Lucy tells Howard that he can kiss her, as long as he doesn't touch her.

But of course, that's impossible for Howard under the circumstances, and then he finds out that Lucy disintegrates if he touches her. Why it was okay for them to kiss is up to you to figure out!

As expected, Howard is shocked by the whole situation!

But then, he did ask her to marry him, so what else can he do?

Lucy's condition just keeps getting worse.

 

And worse!

Take the commercials out of a thirty minute show in 1989, and you're only left with twenty-one minutes of story, and that's just fine with me. There's no filler, no long chase scenes, and little wasted time, and you can do the whole thing with only a handful of actors, or in this case, four. I've got a short attention span, so I'd rather watch three of these shows instead of an hour and a half movie any day!

Hey, did you hear the one about the farmer's daughter?

It ain't so funny no more!!

THE THREE STOOGES In "Men In Black" - 1934

Here's just the third short the Stooges made for Columbia Pictures, and it's a doozy. But, I don't get the 'men in black' title, they're dressed in white! Also, Curly's name was Curley in their earliest episodes before they later dropped the E.

The Stooges have been in medical school so long (years), superintendent Dr. Graves announces that the boys are now doctors, but, they need to work hard 'for Duty and Humanity.'

Then, the electronic PA repeatedly announces... "Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard!"

The boys take off like a bullet and Curly slams the door behind him, which causes the glass to break! The maintenance man shows up to find a big mess to deal with, as Dr. Graves and the other new doctors look on in disbelief . This is a running gag throughout the story, glass gets replaced, broken, replaced, broken, on and on.

In their quest for duty and humanity, the boys definitely overdo it. Love the guy on the left.

And, there's lots of flirting going on! You know, mid thirties, woo woo.

When the boys go to a room to assist another doctor in analyzing a patience's condition, she looks up at the boys and says...

 The place is haunted!

Larry hams it up and sings into Moe's stethoscope!

Then they're sent to a room to deal with mental patient played by the great Billy Gilbert (dude had 233 acting credits and was in everything back then). Anyway, it doesn't go well because the guy's nuts, he even acts like a cat and hisses at them, spitting all over Larry and Moe!

Later, Dr. Graves has accidently swallowed the combination to the safe, what to do?!

They don't carry around those mallets all the time for nothing!..

They have Dr. Graves on the table, ready to be operated on by the boys! The PA comes on and says... Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard, and the boys respond with, shut Up! The PA shoots back... You shut up!

After the operation, Moe stitches up Dr. Graves...

Moe then remembers... Where are the tools?!

The nurse helps Dr. Graves up, and he clinks and clanks his way out of the room.

Then the PA's up to its old tricks and the Stooges have had enough, they take their mallets and have at it. They finally get to the thing's innards and tear it to shreds! 

But it keeps calling for them, and they can't figure it out, until they find the culprit, that big transistor wobbling around there on the floor.

They grab their revolvers (don't ask me) and put the thing out of their misery! Welp, hope you had a few laffs with our favorite guys, The Stooges! We did!