VOYAGE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA - Season 4, Episode 2 - "The Deadly Dolls" (1967)

Comparatively speaking, maybe "The Italian Connection" wasn't so ridiculous after all! It's time for another Saturday Night Special in The Dungeon, and a Danke Grande to my Pal in Berlin Lord Litter for turning me on to this wild thing!

This was Season 4, Episode 2 of "Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea," and it was called "The Deadly Dolls." I think it might just be one of the weirdest TV shows I've ever seen.

There's a puppet show going on to entertain the crew of the Seaview before it heads back out to sea!

The puppeteer is none other than Vincent Price as Professor Multiple!

The crew is really enjoying the stupid show a lot!

Professor Multiple claims these were the puppets in the show, and that he has just wiped off their makeup! Trust me, you're going to need a lot of imagination if you want this to seem real at all!

The Professor is supposed to disembark the ship, but he distracts the Captain, and sneaks away and hides!

For some reason, the faceless puppets have been dumped in this closet!

Wait a minute, that one puppet that looks like Admiral Nelson is really alive!

It just gets even weirder from here!

This is where it gets really strange. The faceless puppets have all turned into exact replicates of the crew members, and the real crew has been put to sleep. Even the Captain now has a double, but he hasn't been put to sleep yet!

Now if it wasn't weird enough just to see Vincent Price aboard the Seaview, how about seeing Vincent Price walking around with a puppet of Admiral Nelson on his shoulder? That's just a very odd image in my book!

The Professor was once a puppet too, and he and his whole team are from outer space, and are being controlled by one giant psychedelic light show machine!

The Admiral Nelson puppet is a mean little bastard, and he can just disappear and reappear in the blink of an eye. They can't shoot him because he's a puppet, and how can you kill something that is not alive? At least that's the story!

Here's the boss who is pulling all the strings in the background!

I mean seriously, WTF!? 

This is sillier looking than "The Man With Two Heads!"

It's a good thing that the Seaview has a lot of air ducts the Captain can use to get away from these fools!

And having access to a flame thrower is a good deal too!

You can't shoot them, but you can burn them. You would think that dying was dying. If the damn thing wasn't alive then how does burning it up have any affect?

Credibility is not a factor here!

The doll's arm around Vincent's neck is the kicker!

This is just an image I don't think I could have even ever imagined on my own!

"What shall we do with them now?"

The Admiral says "Burn 'Em!"

The Seaview remains the boss of the ocean! Ain't no puppets gonna take over the world just yet. Maybe tomorrow, but for today, we're still safe!

If you would like to see this masterpiece of silliness yourself, "The Deadly Dolls" can be found at The Internet Archive (But it's a crappy copy that's cropped all weird), or on YouTube (But it has English sub-titles you can't turn off, even though it's in English), or I ended up watching it on Daily Motion, but there were more commercials than the original TV show had, and they didn't even add them where the original ads were placed. 

Those are your three free choices, enjoy and have fun!!!

CAMEL SPIDERS / A Roger Corman TV Movie! - 2011

Here's a New Horizons TV movie that Roger Corman was the executive producer. Seems strange, but, here you go... The story's based on actual creatures that have tormented US troops in the Middle East. The voracious spiders have now invaded the southwestern deserts of the US. The Camel Spiders roam freely as they hunt for prey, unafraid of anything, including man. No place is safe and no one is beyond their paralyzing attack!

Eegah!! and I loved insects and spiders, we had a 1" version of this species in our area, and I'm telling you, it was terrifying to watch them feed on other insects!.. SERIOUSLY.

This one stars Brian (SLEEPWALKERS) Krause, C. (MAD DOGS AND ENGLISHMEN) Thomas Howell, Melissa (MUNCHIE STRIKES BACK) Brasselle, Frankie (TOMB OF THE WEREWOLF) Cullen and Hayley (RAPTOR) Sanchez.

Over in the Middle East, our troopers are fighting the enemy, and, there are US casualties. Those get boxed up and sent back to the states...

Unfortunately, back in the states, a troop transport carrying the caskets gets in a wreck, causing a crack to open. A pile of Camel Spiders dart out into the desert. They had laid eggs in the bodies... The timeline seems whack, but, whatever.

The damn things are huge, and fast!! The CGI looked great throughout the movie.

Okay, the teacher there, out learning his students all about nature and stuff, well, he's stupid enough to walk over to one of them to say hi...

After all Hell breaks loose, a small group of people make it to a military facility, where, the people in charge there try to figure out their next move.

How would you like to try and identify a charging Camel Spider in that light?

Dude's car stalls, so, he opens the hood... (I would have never imagined that just having a varmint sitting there would make a car stall!) Anyway, the guy closes the hood just a little too late, you get the picture.

These guys seem to have an endless supply of rounds in their rifles, and, they mow down all of the attacking monsters in their tracks.

But, they're coming out of the freakin' building now. They call in the jets and the missiles do their thing, blowing the Hellish Spiders to smithereens!

Great job private, now, gimme 50 push ups for losing your hat!

So, everything's perfect now... Wait a minute, this is a Corman flick, actually, something's quite wrong at this drive-in theater...

That's right, the spiders ain't goin' away any time soon. In THE TINGLER style, we see the little monsters on the screen... Join us tomorrow when we return with more cool junk 4 U.

LA MALA ORDINA - "The Italian Connection" (1972)

Here's a solid Weird Wednesday film for you!

 It might not be the most ridiculous movie ever made, but it's a strong contender!

It's called "La Mala Ordina" or auf Englisch, "The Italian Connection!"

The American 'stars' are Henry Silva and Woody Strode!

Right out of the box, this movie makes no sense! This "Godfather" dude wants some insignificant mosquito pimp eliminated, and he wants to make sure that everybody knows about it!

His name is Luca Canali, and he's played by Mario Adorf!

A survey from a few years back has Mario Adorf as the number two most popular actor of all time in Germany!! And why not, Mario has 200+ credits to his name, and I'm not sure he's done yet!

Let's see, I already told you that Luca was a pimp!

Don't threaten Luca with your petty knife, or he'll headbutt your ass, and then you'll be sorry!

My Dad had big ears, and I've got big ears, but this bat boy has got us both beat!

World class villain, Aldolfo (Larfo) Celi as Don Vito Tressoldi is the last man you want to see you dead! An interesting side note is that Mario Adorf and Adolfo Celi have both been in the movie "Ten Little Indians." There's just one thing, it's two different versions of the movie. Mario Adorf was in the 1965 release as Herr Grohmann, and Adolfo Celi was in the 1974 film as The General!
Agatha Christie's "Ten Little Indians" was also the basis for movies made in 1959, 1981, 1987, and 1989! I guess that's when you know it's a good story!

The killer Pop Rock Disco Funk soundtrack was created by Armando Trovaioli!

The makers of this film go out of their way to get your attention, and the boob count is high!

Here's a good look from the book, "Whores Of The World!"

Almost timeless!

I just love this wacky shot!

Looking as good as ever, Sylva (Lisa And The Devil) Koscina, has the role of  Luca Canali's estranged wife!

Wow! To prove they're not messing around, they kill Luca's ex-wife and daughter!

Everybody in the world might be trying to kill him, but he's not going to let some bastard get away with that!

The hard headed Luca headbutts the windshield to get to the killer!

Exactly!