They used to show
"Cult Of The Cobra" all the time on TV when I was a kid, but I never did really like it! Besides the fact that it's a simple accursed mystery tale disguised as a horror flick, the basic premise is just bothersome!
Here's the basic storyline!! If the stupid American G.I.'s had just done as they were told, there wouldn't have been a problem or a story! They were warned, one guy didn't listen, and now the whole team has to pay the price!
Talent is not a problem as "Cult Of The Cobra" sports an all-star cast that includes Jack (FORBIDDEN PLANET - BART MAVERICK) Kelly, William (109 Episodes of The F.B.I.) Reynolds, David (The Fugitive) Janssen, Marshall (IT! The Terror From Beyond Space) Thompson, Richard (77 Sunset Strip - The Big Valley) Long, and James (Mutiny In Outer Space) Dobson!!!!!! Daru the snake charmer is played by Leonard (The Claw) Strong! In this beginning scene, Daru is telling the boys about the ancient sacred snake ceremony that he will sneak them into for 100 bucks, but there's just one catch, "No Cameras!"
The Asian version of the RCA Victor His Master's Voice logo with a monkey instead of a dog!
I was in The Army! I know what guys do when they're off duty, they get really drunk, and act stupid, no matter what part of the world they're in! Too bad these characters didn't have some pinball machines to keep them occupied and out of trouble!!
"Remember, No Pictures!"
James Dobson's character is an idiot! He thinks he can sneak a picture of the ceremony with one of those old-time flashes that throw a massive white light, and make a big popping sound to boot! Reminds me of the time Tabonga and I smoked a cigarette in the car when my Mom went into the market for five minutes, and we thought she wouldn't notice the smell!!
The Carlssons get credit for the dance numbers! Good Luck finding out any more info on them!
A huge melee breaks out when the guys are discovered and brain bat Dobson tries to make off with the snake urn, like they're not in enough trouble already!!
The other five stage a daring escape!!
Meanwhile, now in the hospital, Dobson has an uninvited guest! All I can say is that the dumbass ends up reaping exactly what he sowed, "The Curse Of The Cobra!"
The boys all head back to America, and the next thing you know, a beautiful stranger shows up in their town! This stunning beauty is one of Tabonga's favourite actresses, the sultry siren Faith Domergue! Faith is a Dungeon Goddess, and her next three movies after this were "This Island Earth," "It Came From Beneath The Sea," and "The Atomic Man!"
David Janssen is the next to go! After some 97 credits, hard working, fast living David succumbed to a heart attack at the age of 48!
Faith's character is named Lisa Moya, and she just recently moved into an apartment directly across from Marshall Thompson's pad. They've only gone out a couple of times, but she already feels compelled to go to David's funeral!
One by one, the curse takes it's toll! Jack Kelly is the next victim!! Dig that krazy snake eye lens!
There's not a whole lot of suspense here, the viewer knows exactly what's going on from the get go! Looks like they spent a lot on these silhouette images!
They just don't make movies like this anymore because these days somebody would have looked up cults on Google after the first death, and the film would have only been 20 minutes long!
Everybody else is getting it figured out, but Marshall is a little dense, and doesn't realize Lisa is a snake until after he tosses her off a balcony, and in this amazing transformation scene, changes back to her normal self!!
Aw, Man, snake or not, now I'm never going to get any! Damn, Damn, Damn!!!
Beautiful poster!!
OKAY!!! The time has finally come! The moment you've been waiting for, the Super Saturday Seventies Spectacular Special, "STARCRASH"!!! 
Caroline Munro is the stunning Stella Star, and mighty Marjoe Gortner is Akton!! Leave it to the Italians to come up with a cast that includes a one time four year old child evangelist coupled with one of the UK's queens of horror! But we're just getting started......Pretty cool spaceship they've got!!
If you had to pick somebody to be the super slimeball tough guy Count Zarth Arn that wants to rule the universe, Joe (MANIAC) Spinell would have to be the guy at the top of the list!! 
Still more leftovers from "Wizard Of Mars," is that even remotely possible? Well, maybe conceptually anyway!
Caroline Munro has had an awesome career! Not only was she Dr. Phibes dead wife Victoria Regina Phibes in both of the Dr. Phibes movies, she was also Naomi in the "The Spy Who Loved Me," and along with Joe Spinell, was in "Maniac" and another film we'll get around to some day, "The Last Horror Film!"
This space skull barbarian shot of Stella Star looks like some kind of classic fantastic Frank Frazetta comic illustration!!
It's said that Caroline Munro and her blonde counterpart Ingrid Pitt were known as the Jane Russell and Marilyn Monroe of UK horror! It's funny how Caroline Munro and Marilyn Monroe sound so similar, but Caroline was the one compared to Jane Russell not Marilyn!
I couldn't find my copy, but I might still have this Caroline Munro 12" single "Pump Me Up" that was produced by Gary Numan around here somewhere! Caroline Munro was never big on posing nude, she didn't need to!!
Caroline and Marjoe are joined on a good part of their journey by the campy robot Elle, who has Judd (The Last Horror Film) Hamilton inside, and whose obnoxious twangy voice in English was provided by actor and folk singer Hamilton Camp, who had a song that hit #76 in 1968 called "Here's To You!" The Pelón Thor was portrayed by Robert (Born Loser Glory Stomper Outlaw Rider) Tessier! Robert rounded out his career in the 1990 feature "Fertilize the Blaspheming Bombshell!"
Stella Star's meeting with this giant amazon robot seemed awfully reminiscent of one one of the Sinbad movies as do Count Zarth Arn's armed robot guards! Caroline Munro also had the role of Margiana in "The Golden Voyage Of Sinbad"
In a very primitive encounter with a bunch of cavemen launched off of trampolines, the robot Elle literally gets his brains bashed in, and Stella is left alone again!
Next up a stylish masked man appears out of nowhere to watch over Stella, and bigger than elephant poop, it's none other than..........
.........The Hoff, in his second ever film production! David Hasselhoff's previous film appearance was in "Revenge Of The Cheerleaders" where he played a character named Boner!
Thor ends up showing his true traitorous colours, and Marjoe has to kick his ass with what appears to be miracles of power! Just in case you wondered, Marjoe's name was derived from a combination of Mary and Joseph!
Just try and sit back, relax, and bask in the beauty of these combined four shots of cinematic wonder!!
Because "Starcrash" is SO bad, I can easily say it's one of the best flicks I've seen this year! Just like Joe Spinell in most of his films, it's that bad!! Joe Spinell passed away back in 1989 at the age of 52, from what are still undetermined causes!
Probably the most disappointing element of "Starcrash" is the uninspiring music by the genius John (Can you say James Bond?) Barry!! It is so brutally Star something else, it will keep your mind in wonder!
The gorgeous Caroline Munro looks so much like Spongebob's friend Sandy Cheeks in this final picture that it has left me speechless!!!
"Starcrash," what a fantastic giant heap of steaming dung, and what a great movie!!!!
