5 BAMBOLE PER LA LUNA D'AGOSTO - Il Balletto di Bronzo - "5 Dolls For An August Moon" (1970)

When I saved the short sound file for "5 Dolls For An August Moon," I named it "Crazy Ass Mario Bava Movie," and now as I'm writing this, I haven't changed my mind one bit!

It's Mario ("Black Sunday," "Hercules In The Haunted World," "Blood And Black Lace," "Planet Of The Vampires") Bava! Basically, the man can do no wrong, and when he does, it's still 7 times better than anything else you're likely to see!

Just got a new stylus for my turntable! I thought it was going to be impossible to find, but actually it was cheap and easy, so let's put it in the groove for the 60's Italian prog band Il Balletto di Bronzo and their contribution to some of the score for this movie!

Sometimes when the going gets rough, you just feel like a Mai-Tai!

Guess what Brainiac, it's a knife!

There's an island and the people who were invited there for the weekend are getting killed off, one by one!!

And you don't know who it was!! It's a question and a statement!

Nice place to die!! - Where?

Pushin' Th' Little White Daisies Up!!

Oh, My! He's been stabbed! What shall we do??

This movie is basically another takeoff on Agatha Christie's "Ten Little Indians!" Keyword: Hairy Chest!

Not knowing what else to do, they stash the bodies in a large walk-in meat refridgemirator!

Mario Bava has a great eye for cinematography, in fact, he has two great eyes, and this shot is a testament to both of them!

No, kids! Smoking still isn't cool, even if you go the extra suave route, and use your dirty feet! How about a pack of Toe-Jam Menthol Lights for your pleasure?

One by one, the bodies keep piling up or hanging around, as it were!!

In the not so distant past, this reel to reel tape recorder was state of the art super high tech stuff!

It's almost New Year's Eve, What the Hell!?     CHEERS!!!

......and that is exactly the same way I saw it too! Most of the time it doesn't really pay to be mean, so as The Youngblood's said, "C'mon people now, smile on your brother, everybody get together, try and love one another right now!" RIGHT! ...."this court finds you responsible!"

THE GOLDEN ARROW / Titanus - 1962

It's Magic Carpet Friday with Tabonga, here at The Dungeon!.. Here's a feature from Italy starring Tab Hunter and filmed at many actual ancient ruins and locations. At the time, this is not a movie Eegah!! and I would go to see, you know, like... Where's the freakin' rubber monster?! Love the name of the production company, Titanus!

Eegah!! sent over a musical soundclip for our earjoyment, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button there next to the atomic broken arrow, NOW, Rufus The Gnat! Here's an earfull of... THE GOLDEN ARROW!

Tab seems slightly out of place as the working class hero, Hassan, a blond, but, he easily wins the magic golden arrow archery contest.

This causes problems with the ruling class and he's thrown in the clink.

He's saved by a trio of helpful genies, they're his to command since he won the archery contest. He makes his escape.

Hey, what do you know... An ancient i-pad with an Etruscan skin!

He meets the Queen of Rocky Valley and has to fight off these burning men!

He's turned into a ghostlike figure by a genie, so, he pulls a Three Stooges 'needle in the ass' gag on the prince, who's trying to horn in on his girl.

The genies bring out the flying carpets for an all out war with the enemies, Hassan gets a bird's eye view of the action.

The genies gather up large pieces of pottery and drop them on their unsuspecting victims!

And, the bad guys get theirs in the end, they lose the treasure chest and land in a slag pond, where they belong!

ERCOLE ALLA CONQUISTA DI ATLANTIDE - Armando Trovajoli & Gino Marinuzzi - "Hercules And The Conquest Of Atlantis" (1961)

Over the years, there have been scores of films, TV shows, cartoons, and video games, all about the cat with the amazing strength named Hercules!

"Hercules And The Captive Women" made in 1961 is a classical example!

An alternate title for this movie is "Hercules And The Conquest Of Atlantis!" The strange music was composed by Gino Marinuzzi Jr. and Armando Trovajoli! Armando just passed away this year at the age of 95! Armando had 218 music credits that included a lot of Dungeon faves like "Werewolf In A Girl's Dormitory," "Mole Men Against The Sons Of Hercules," and "Toto Vs. Maciste!" Gino only had 26 musical credits, but that list includes "Planet Of The Vampires," "Kommissar X - Drei Gelbe Katzen," and "The Son of Hercules vs. Venus!" Pretty heady stuff!!!

Hercules says "Really?"

This particular adventure brings Hercules to the shores of some distant beach water, where he must deal with a woman known as Antinea, The Queen of Atlantis!

Laura Efrikian as the Queen's daughter Ismene, has been imbedded in the side of a hill! Hercules to the rescue!

Herc says "What The Heck?"

This olde geezer is pulling all the strings, including the ones on the condor Herc fights along with a snake and a lion! But that's just all fodder for the proverbial Herculean cannon!

Time to literally break out the big guns! Herc now has to do battle with this mini-dinosaur creature, and he uses his big guns to break off the creature's horn, which renders it useless, kind of like shooting a zombie in the head, but not without an epic struggle of massive proportions first!! The best Hercules movies always contain some kind of fantasy elements, and this one is no exception!

Message to tough guys: It's really hard to look menacing when standing with your hands on your hips!

Hercules doesn't look exactly macho in this outfit either! The Playboy centerfold pose circa 1961 doesn't help!

The Queen of Atlantis looks like a small UFO has landed in her hair! The Queen was played by bad girl fave, Fay (Dragstrip Girl, Teenage Doll) Spain!

The guys on the island are all plagued with bad acne, and none of the girls want to go out with them!

Hercules gets real confused and almost busts a brain cell!

And then it dawns on him, "What am I doing here? Help Mr. Custer!"

 Give the makers of "Ercole Alla Conquista Di Atlantide" credit for employing lots of extras just like in "The Walking Dead!" I like that guy laying up there on that whatever-the-Hell-that-is outcropping!

The Queen's Army of super secret special forces shows up and tries to give Herc a bad time!

When the Queen's guards take their helmets off, they all kind of look like the same guy! WTF?!!

Now Herc is really confused! This was Reg Park's first on screen appearance as Hercules! He would go on to reprise the role four more times in "Hercules In The Haunted World," "Samson In King Solomon's Mines," "Hercules, Prisoner Of Evil," and  "Hercules The Avenger!" Whether you call him Ercole, Ursus, Samson or Maciste, it's all the same guy, good ole Hercules!!

Aw, what the Hell? It all turned out to be a big joke! Smile Herc, you're on "Candid Camera!"