BIOKIDS / Filmstar Productions - 1990

Welcome to Friday Night Filipino Drive-In Theater with Tabonga, here at The Dungeon!.. Tonite's little obscurity pits some bionically enhanced kids against The Clown and his gang of misfits...

Mr. Mon del Rosario gets credit as musical director, so, no telling who did the very catchy theme! Mon also worked on these other movies... WORKING GIRLS 2, MACHO DANCER, BARBI: MAID IN THE PHILIPPINES, BALBAKWA: THE INVISIBLE MAN, WOOLY BOOLY: AND CLASSMATE KONG ALIEN, HOTDOG, TOOTSIE WOOTSIE: AND BANDANG WALANG ATRASAN and ROBIN GOOD.

Okay, lettuce bring in our littlest Dungeon fiend and button pusher, sure 'nuf, Rufus The Gnat!.. Howdy, Rufus! Welp, according to the atomic alarm clock that just started blinking, it's time to start the show, so, push the big red 'GO' button there by the trash compactor, now, Rufus! Here's our soundclip for... BIOKIDS!

Here are the soon-to-be Biokids as they're sneaking into the 'haunted house!' Does this look 'haunted' to anybloody? Haunted house must have a different meaning in the Philippines than here in the US! Looks kinda religious/sexual deviant to me!

While the little dude is leaning on the nude, keeping a lookout, she winks and blows him a kiss!

Where's the spider webs?!.. Haunted houses have spider webs!!

Before and after shots of the Biokids. After they found the professor taking a nap, he got right up because he realized he had the guinea pigs he was looking for!

C'mon, those are cool looking helmuts!

And, check it out, mini cycles!!

The professor can have breakfast as he watches the action on his video monitor! That's a two egg cooker there on top of the map.

I think that Frownie The Clownie would be a better name.

During one fight, this guy gets wound up and screws himself into the ground!

Then, there's this guy! The Clown was actually digging on his face with a big knife!!.. Weirdsville!

A cool shot of Clownie without his wig.

The Clown makes his own Bioman to take care of the pesky Biokids!

He he he he he he!..


The mini cycles can convert into these! With machine guns, even!

This is the best the professor can do for himself?

Clownie has more Biomen created, they attack!

The Biokids all focus their beams on the big guys and blow them up real good!

TESEO CONTRO IL MINOTAURO - Carlo Rustichelli - "The Wild Beast of Crete" (1960)

The great Central Valley of California has produced it's share of celebrities over the years, but nobody will probably outshine the accomplishments of Mr. Bob Mathias! Born in Tulare, Calif, Bob won the Gold Medal at the 1948 Olympics in the Decathlon. He was the youngest person to ever win the Gold Medal in a track and field event! He played football at Stanford for a couple of years, and then at the next Olympics, he won the Decathlon a second time by an incredible 912 points. It was 1952 and Bob Mathias not only won back to back decathlons, a never before accomplished feat, but he also played in The Rose Bowl the same year!

Okay, let's get this party started, and everybody knows that human sacrifices lose some of their zing if there's not a whole bunch of dancing girls as the opening act, so without further adieu, here's "The Minotaur"! Cool big head Minotaur set!!

The music for "The Minotaur" was composed by the Maestro Carlo Rustichelli whom we've written about many times before, and rightfully so, since his 263 compositions have included titles like "Blood and Black Lace," and "Kill,Baby,Kill" etc, etc, etc ad nauseum!

The real musical story here is that the super fantastic guitar player Roy Buchanan grew up just 17 miles down Highway 99 from Bob Mathias in the booming metropolis of Pixley, California, which even today sports less than 3000 denizens!! It just shows to go you, that having the worst air in the whole United States hasn't affected The Valley's ability to crank out talent over the years!

"Wave your hands in the air like you don't care, Glide by the people as they start to look and stare, Do your dance, do your dance, do your dance quick Momma, Come on baby tell me What's The Word?" - Cameo ("Word Up" was also covered by another Big Valley phenomena, the band KORN)

My Word, did you see that Thelma Lou, that woman's got fire coming right out of her head!!

It's kind of interesting that the only black people in "Teseo Contro Il Minotauro" are in the band!

The former Miss Liguria, and Italian Sex Goddess Rosanna Schiaffino does double duty as Princess Fedra and also as Arianna, and what about that 36-22-35 outfit? Abbaio!!!

Because "The Minotaur" was made in Italy, instead of Bob, they call him Prince Teseo, and his best pal is named Chirone. Chirone is played by Alberto Lupo who was the star of Dungeon fave, "Atom Age Vampire."

These guys really do look like brothers! Bob Mathias served in The Marine Corp and was a Republican member of the US House of Representatives representing California from 1967 to 1975!! He passed away in 2006!

It seems that all of Rosanna's outfits are built to showcase that 22 inch waist! The dude in the lower photo really wanted to be Rod Taylor, but he just couldn't pull it off!

He went that way Boss!!!

There's still time left for one more dance number!

And it's off for the final confrontation with The Minotaur! Just to refresh your memory, so you know what The Minotaur is up against, The Decathlon is made up of 10 events in 2 days that include: a 100 meter race, the long jump, the shot put, the high jump, the 400 meter race, the 100 meter hurdles, the discus throw, the pole vault, the javelin throw, and it wraps up with a 1500 meter race! That's why the winner is declared "The World's Greatest Athelete!"

Finally we get to see the big guy that all the commotion's about! You've probably never seen one, but this is a Minotaur. It's kind of like a miniature version of the Tour de France, but in Italy!

"Aw, it's just a little blood, no big deal, it washes right off!" I don't know why, but you can catch "The Minotaur" streaming on Netflix!