BRAINDRAINER / Low Budget No Brainer! - 1999

Okay, I've come to a conclusion, Friday is... Anything Goes! And come to think of it, this movie is just as coherent as the world we live in ~

I like this shot on video movie better than most of the fifties parody crap I see on Prime. Michael Legge is an actor/writer/director with 18 credits, and was the best of the characters.

The story starts with a rock streaking through space, there's actually some pretty cool space effects until after the thing hits the ground.

But, this is what a weirdo finds in a field, the rock from outer space!

Now what a minute, that is anything but a meteorite from space!! Reminds me of when we were working on THE CREEP, the editor was making a composite shot with the Moon. He had a regular pebble put in the scene, and when he asked me what I thought, I was flabbergasted, what the heck, man! Then he said, do you want me to use the real Moon?..

But anyway, two pretend doofus cops come up on the guy who's holding the 'meteorite' in his hand, he's just standing there with a stupid grin on his face. The cops try and get the rock out of his hand and they get stupider too!

Here's Michael Legge as The Amazing Jacques, a bratty girl comes to the door and wants to get paid for delivering his groceries... He looks a lot like our actor pal, Tom F.

So, Jacques pulls a hypnotic eye out of his pocket and tells the girl... You will pay my monthly newspaper bill.

She repeats the line and says that she will pay his bill...

Then, The Creeper takes The Amazing Jacques to meet someone, his boss, Spiderwoman. She wants Jacques to join their little club to try and get their hands on the meteorite, in order to take over the world! Or, something like that.

In the meantime, Senator Vapid has become victim to the rock's power, draining his brain. Dr. Garland and her blind assistant, Matt Retina, are trying to figure out what the Hell's going on. Check it out, she's holding up a chart, 'nuf said.

The Amazing Jacques hypnotizes Dr. Garland and Matt to help him and his cohorts locate the desired object...

Suddenly, Senator Vapid awakens from his trance and starts talking... He's now the mouthpiece for the alien invaders, telling the story of how they arrived on Earth, and more. Bob Eiland plays the Senator, I also thought he was very good in his role, In this scene where he's talking as the alien, he sounds like a drugged-up Elmer Fudd and it's pretty damn funny.

I just like this picture a lot.

Matt tells Jacques and Spiderwoman that he has a Robodoc that can help in the operation to remove the rock from the senator's head. But, there are no eyes, Robodoc asks Jacques if he could use his!

The operation goes haywire I believe... Come to think of it, I'm not sure what's actually going on. Machts nichts!

In some b/w scenes, Dr Garland pulls her bra out and uses it as a sling shot, which hits Senator Vapid's head. Whotta shot!

I guess the rock's in his head again (I don't know) and he seems normal again...

At his first news conference since returning to the real world, the senator tries to clear his throat, only to cough up a bunch of little rocks, which the crowd quickly grab up! Ho Boy! Eegah's up tomorrow so I recommend you check in for that, here at The Dungeon!!..