HOUSE OF MYSTERY - "The Curse Of Kai" (1934)

Welcome to O.G. Wednesday down in The Dungeon, and tonight's classic big monkey horror show, "House Of Mystery!" This movie is so mysterious, even the title is a mystery; is it "House of," or "The House of"......?  Only The Gorilla knows, and he ain't talking!

 

 Okay, "House Of Mystery" may not be the best movie ever made, but it sure has one of the most classic titles of all times! Made some freakin' 80 years ago in 1934, this version wasn't even the first movie ever made with this title! There were also two "The House Of Mystery" movies made before this, one in 1901, and one made in 1921! After this film, there were even more movies titled "House Of Mystery," one in 1940, and one in 1961!  None of these movies are about the same thing! To top it all off, there was a movie made in 1938 titled "Mystery House!"

I'm not quite sure about the time and place of this film, but I think it might be Asia - 1913!

The guy on the left with what looks like a golf club, but is really a riding crop, is a big jerk, drunken lout named John Prendergast! He's played by Clay(Don't Bet On Blondes)Clement! He's quite the ass, maybe he wasn't acting!

This hot dancing girl is Joyzelle Joyner as Chanda! If she looks kind of exotic, it's probably because she was born in Alabama! Here's a monkey biscuit's worth of the theme song, and the wild music that Chanda is twirling to!

These 1913 Asian people are simian worshipers! Take note of the big guy in the background! The high priest is Brandon (Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde, White Zombie, The Hunchback Of Notre Dame) Hurst!

When John Prendergast was drunk, he hurt an innocent little monkey, and now he's cursed for life to death!

Chanda helps John Predergast escape, and they head for higher ground to live happily ever after! (Take note of how normal she looks!)

There was a reason that John Prendergast was acting like such an ass, he is one!

John is tracked down some time into the future by the investors of the original expedition, and he tells them to all come to his creepy olde house, and he will explain the whole situation! Two of the investors can't make it, because they were recently murdered in England! John explains to the group that he didn't tell them, because he didn't want to pass the curse onto them, and that he had tried to give the treasure back to the natives, but they wouldn't accept it!

These two are quite the couple! On the left is the chocolate-gobblin' hypochondriac Mrs. Geraldine Carfax as played by Dale(House Of Horror)Fuller, and on the right is Fritzi(Red Hot Speed)Ridgeway as Stella Walker, her keeper! Chanda off in the background makes it a perfect threesome!

Sometimes you can't tell whether this movie is a comedy or if it's the fact that the characters are just stupid! I think it's the latter! The plumber who also turns out to be the undercover guy from Scotland Yard is played by John(Swing Time Johnny)Sheehan! Chanda is everywhere, always watching, but not saying much, and the same thing is true for the plumber!

John's an olde horndog, and crippled or not, he's hot for his nurse Ella Browning, and wants her to marry him! Note Chanda is in the back watching just like the big gorillas used to do! Ella Browning is played by cutie pie Verna(Duck Soup)Hillie!!

Time for the big seance scene, so Stella can conjure up the spirit of Pocahontas and get answers to all these crazy question!

Again, is this a comedy or not? I'm confused! These three are a cross between The Three Stooges, and The Keystone Kops! Two words come to mind, blundering idiots!

"I'm bringing home a baby bumble bee!" No credit for who was loping around in the hairy suit! People keep getting killed, and every time, strangely there has been some kind of exotic incense burning in their room!

Chanda has been in the dark about John's trend towards infidelity, but now she has caught him red-handed! He has even told Ella that Chanda is nothing more than merely his housekeeper! Bad move jerk-off!

Almost all the investors are dead by the time that John reveals that he is not crippled at all, and is just a dirty, nasty scalliwag! Here's a final toast, and a suggestion that Chanda should go back to her native country for a while and chill! Maybe he'll call her later!!

Chanda exits the room, and locks the door before John sees or smells the incense burning! He's seen it before and he knows what's coming next, and you don't need a lot of imagination to figure it out either!

Here's four examples of how Director William Nigh packed as much as he could into each and every shot! I'm sure if he thought he could have got the entire cast into every shot, he sure as Hell would have done it!

I made you this wallpaper from a random sample of what you get if you do a Google search for House of Mystery poster! I thought it was pretty cool! Just for the record, if you're in the market to see a 1930's big monkey movie for free, you can find "House Of Mystery" to stream or download over at the always utterly amazing, and always free, Internet Archive!!  Fuckin' A!!