GOLDFINGER - "007 Is Paid To Take Risks, YOU ARE NOT" (1964)

 

 Time to climb out of the shadows and back into the mainstream with the second part of Eegah's!! "Gold Trilogy" that started last Wednesday with "Golden Claws Cat-Girl!"

Now of course tonight's film needs no introduction, and actually I hate even attempting doing something new and interesting with a film as classic as GOLDFINGER, so it's mostly just gonna be a bunch of pretty pictures, because let's face it, if you don't already know everything there is to know about Ian Fleming's "Goldfinger," you've obviously been living in a cave in Afghanistan for the last 40 years! But I'm sure there's still a few of you out there, so without any more bullshit, let's get it on with tonight's Super Saturday Night Special!

 

The tagline "007 Is Paid To Take Risks, YOU ARE NOT" was lifted from a 1964 British Safety Council poster!

This is Gert (The 1,000 Eyes of Dr. Mabuse) Fröbe as Auric Goldfinger! Gert was one of the major players in many a German produced Edgar Wallace flick!

All those cards and he still has a pretty shitty poker hand!

The forever beautiful Shirely Eaton is the first victim of the touch of gold! Back in the 70's, I was hitchhiking back from L.A. and this gay guy gave me and my friend Chris Smith a ride. He was all hung over, and he told us he was coming home from a masquerade party. The bird finger on his right hand was still spray painted gold, and he told us he went to the party as "Goldfinger!" That's a true story!

This shot has all the right elements, modern architecture, and an ominous shadow! Will James be okay? Well, Jeez, I hope so, the movie just got started!

 No shit, is this possibly THE worst shot you've ever seen in your life?

The Lord only knows how I long for Drive-In signs like this! Now it's all golden arches and welcome to Walmart! Whatever happened to American ingenuity and the American dream? The future sucks!

Now I know a lot of you can't identify with the game of golf, but for us golfers, it's a real treat to see 007 on the links!

Oh, gee Mr. Goldfinger. I think that shot is out of bounds! Lovin' it!!

So the golf scenes are my favourite part of the movie! Everybody's got their problems! What a shitty caddy!

One of them shots I just like!

This shot explains in no uncertain terms why the TSA checks every Goddamn Grandma that gets on a plane! Honestly, who can you trust? Ian Fleming was obviously clairvoyant!!!

 

This is Goldfinger's main man Oddjob, a lot of people don't know this, but he has a sister named Handjob! Oddjob was an ominous figure at 5' 10" and 284 pounds! He was played by Harold Sakata, a former Olympic Weightlifting Silver Medalist, who was also active as professional wrassler Tosh Togo!!

 

Here are four words you wouldn't normally expect to see in one sentence!! Even if you drop out two of them you still have "Pussy Circus," and that just ain't right!!

From the most basic security........

.....to the most flamboyant security, "Goldfinger" has it all!

James flies back home safe and sound! Well, not quite, otherwise it wouldn't be a James Bond movie!

Tune in on Wednesday for the third and final installment of this golden series, "Goldface, The Fantastic Superman!"