Friday, December 9, 2011

DINOSAUR ISLAND / Corman-Ray-Nevius-Wynorski - 1994

Welcome to Friday Night Drive-In with Tabonga, here at The Dungeon!.. It took Roger Corman, Fred Olen Ray, Craig Nevius and Jim Wynorski, all together, to produce this poor excuse of a movie just to show off hot girl boobs to young impressionable boys of all ages!

The dumb ass story goes like this... Army Captain Briggs is flying three misfit deserters, Turbo, Wayne and Buzz, home for a court martial when their plane develops engine trouble and has to crash land near an uncharted island in the Pacific (an uncharted island in 1994, is that possible?). Anyway, they find a primitive society of cavewomen (oh, sure) who even sacrifice virgins to appease The Great One (stupid!), a mean old dinosaur. The soldiers are mistaken for gods (heaven help us!), so, they must destroy the monster or face death! Oh yeah, they have sex and fall in love, too... LAME!!

The music's by jack of all trades, Chuck Cirino. Chuck also composed music for CHOPPING MALL, DEATH HOUSE, BIG BAD MAMA II, NOT OF THIS EARTH ('88), THE RETURN OF THE SWAMP THING, BEVERLY HILLS VAMP, TRANSYLVANIA TWIST, THE HAUNTING OF MORELLA, INNER SANCTUM, TEENAGE EXORCIST, 976-EVIL II, EVIL TOONS and MUNCHIE STRIKES BACK.

Lettuce bring in our littlest Dungeon helper and button pusher, yes, it's Rufus The Gnat!.. Hooray for lil' Rufus! He's here to start our Eariffic Soundclip, so, go ahead and push the big red 'GO' button, now, Rufus! Here's some noise from... DINOSAUR ISLAND!

Here's our motley crew, washed up on shore like rats and all...

Add some fake Sago Palms to the terrian, and viola, you gots prehistoric times! This flick was filmed at Bronson Canyon and Griffith Park.

Here they are, walking through the once sacred ground...

What's your problem, now?!..

I gotta go to the can!

The one Army dude that stays behind to guard the raft becomes a chew toy for this big island bully!

Of course, it's the cavewomen to the rescue!

BOTCHANO!..

This guy's definitely a god, just take a gander at this mysterious marking on his arm!!

This is Queen Morganna and her boobalicious court.

In my wildest dreams, I could never mistake these pasty pathetic palookas for some kind of gods from anywhere!! Them girls are either gulible or just plain horny!

Decent miniature foreshortening by ace cameraman, Gary Graver.

Makin' some tasty tree spider soup!

Besides the boobs, the dinosaurs were definitely the best part of the movie.

Can you believe it, there's a catfight!!..

She wants to know if he thinks she looks good enuf to be in Playpen!

No dinosaur flick would be complete without a Pterodactyl attack, would it?..

Cook this up with some dino bacon, an' mmmmm-mmm!!!

The goofs face off against The Great One and somehow kill it!.. Go figure.

Goodbye, everbloody!..

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