Saturday, April 23, 2011

PSYCHOMANIA - Cameron/Whtaker/Worth - "The Death Wheelers" (1973)

Well, what do you know? It's a back to back Easter weekendmania! The title of tonight's feature is "Psychomania," but I think they really meant "Deeply Misunderstood Psychomaniac Dead Bikers" or something along that line, which is much better that the alternate release title, "The Death Wheelers," which I think was really pushing it!

The music was composed by John Cameron, whom we've never written about before because this "Psychomania" was basically his only horror outing, but he did do the music for some classic 90's TV remakes of "Frankenstein," Jekyll and Hyde," and "Jack The Ripper!"

Not real scary, but that's a pretty cool skull head logo that The Living Dead gang have going on! "I don't want a pickle, I just wanna ride on my motor sickle" - Arlo Guthrie

The Living Dead moto-psycho gang are a pretty tough group, and they do really mean things like knocking over traffic cones! Shame on you people!!

There's a mess of froggy hocus pocus going on and what ends up happening is that the leader of the Living Dead, Tom Latham, finds out that it is possible to achieve immortality, and here's the kicker, as long as you believe you're going to make it to the other side and be immortal when you die, so he kills himself!! Tom's a true believer!

At the funeral, the guy on the left lipsynchs a very smaltzy song called "Riding Free" written by David Whitaker and Johnny Worth and sung by Harvey Andrews! The rest of the Living Dead flesh out the scene in their classy funeral attire! There's Abby, Jane, Bertram, Hatchet, Chopped Meat, Gash, and Hinky, and that's dead Tom sitting upright on his bike in the hole!

After the funeral and later that night, Tom comes back to life, and blasts out of the grave on his bike, goes to town, calls home and talks to his Mom, has a drink, and leaves a wake of dead bodies in his path!

Nicky Henson has the role of Tom Latham! From dead bikers to Demetrius in "A Midsummer Night's Dream," Nicky has done it all, and is still active today!

As expected, the rest of the gang can't figure out what the Hell is going on, so they shank this guy who must be an impostor, and when he doesn't die, they become believers! Tom has truly rumbled from the grave!

Jane has got the biggest balls and the self confidence it takes to pull off this little trick, and she boldly eats it out on the highway!

In no time at all the immortal twosome are out terrorizing old ladies again!

Tom and Jane have come back from the dead like Jesus, and the best thing that they can think to do is to give somebody the raspberries, thumb their noses at them, and slash their tires!

There's so much crap going on that the rest of the gang gets arrested, and we get to see the sheer power of the dead when Tom and Jane bust them out!

Well, that display of strength was enough to finally convince the rest of the gang, and so one by one, they each commit suicide in their own particular manner like jumping out the window of a high rise building, or........

.........Drowning........or.....

........jumping off an overpass into traffic!!

And Jane and Tom approve each and every successful rite of passage to the other side!

Which presents the age old question, if you were able to achieve immortality, what would you do with your time? Would you use it to intimidate, bully, and coerce innocent women, children and babies in the supermarket? The Living Dead are not a bunch of rocket surgeons, that's for sure!

Everybody in the gang cashed in their chips except Abby, so Tom tries to get her to crash through a wall with him, but she takes the living route instead and pisses him off!

Tom's Mom is a clairvoyant and has had enough of her dead son and his dead friends antics, so she throws a different spell on them. She is joined by Shadwell, her manslave butler, and Dungeon Hall of Famer, George Sanders!

The ending will come as no big surprise to anybody, except now you know why there were those weird looking stone forms during the opening credits! I'm sure Mrs. Latham would have been a lot more forgiving if the gang had just found something constructive to do with their time!

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