Friday, May 21, 2010

CARNAGE / Andy Milligan - 1984

Hello everbloody, an' welcome to The Friday Night Frights wif' Tabonga and lil' assistant Ralphie the Tarantula, here at the Dungeon...

The story goes like this... A newlywed couple move into an old house they just bought, which is haunted by the ghosts of another newlywed couple who commited suicide there a few years earlier.

The movie starts with a double murder/suicide bride/groom wedding/funeral happy/sad thing in some dark room in their new/old house! Andy Milligan wrote, directed and did the cinematography for this dingy little cheapskate.

Boy, Andy sure knows a lot of weird looking people there in old New York City!! We'll be doing more of Andy's bizarro work in the future with titles like TORTURE DUNGEON, GURU, THE MAD MONK and THE RATS ARE COMING! THE WEREWOLVES ARE HERE!! So, stay tuned for that!!

There's absolutely no mention of any kind of music, so it's all probably lifted from somewhere. One interesting sound segment Eegah!! included has some nice spooky stuff with a theramin, which sounds very professionally done. Hey, that's one way to try and polish a turd!

'GO' button pusher Ralphie is sitting here, ready to start the show all rolling and whatnot! You know what, Tabonga always like the term, cattywompus! Butt anyways, here's today's Eariffic Earclip... CARNAGE!

Oh baby, I feel so grown up! (pant pant) I just can't wait to!..

...Scare the hell out of you like the 7 year old brat I really am!!

The old 'person pretending to be a covered chair in the storage room' gag is always good for a cheap thrill!

Things start going haywire! You watch objects move with strings in the shadows, or turn on the wall, obviously being manipulated on a peg by someone behind the wall, with no kind of dexterity, all herky-jerky and the like, and well, it's just plain... Stoopid!!

It only takes a minute for this visiting mother and daughter team to turn on each other!

This lady who came over is attacked by the ghost bride in the basement and ends up sick in the head and bedridden!

Later, she becomes elated, then slits her own throat!

Then, the bride ghost catches some prowlers in the basement. She chops one dude's hand off and pulls this guy's guts out.. She has a ton-o-fun doing it, too!

Hey, was that a mouse?!..

No... Guess not!!

When people die, ministers do their thang!

The minister is asked to come over and try to get rid of the ghosts, but gets a hatchet in the skull instead!!

Oh, honey, I have a little surprise for you!!

Welp... Here we go again!!

4 comments:

  1. Friday Night Frights!!! I grew up with that, me and my friends would rotate sleepovers and always watch the Friday Night Frights. I have never heard another person mention this! We watched all the oldies: Them, Frankenstein Meets Wolfman, Creature From the Black Lagoon, etc. I loved them all!! Thank you so much for this post.

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  2. why is there always a bride in it? and why is she always whacko? but still they don't make movies like they used to...

    thanx for tha laff

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  3. Oh man, this reminds me I have a Milligan film I'm s'posed to review. Yikes.

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  4. Z,
    I don't think anyone minds if you put that turd on the back burner!

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