THE FLYING SQUAD - "Our Miss Brooks" (1940)

 

This week's Saturday Night Special is a 1940 British film penned by Dungeon Hero Edgar Wallace called "The Flying Squad."

 

When I first saw the title "The Flying Squad," I immediately thought this was a war film, but it's not. "The Flying Squad" was an independent arm of the law formed in 1919 that was originally called "The Mobile Patrol Experiment." Their job was to conduct surveillance and gather intelligence on known robbers and pickpockets. They were given no boundaries and were attached to no divisions, and basically only answered to themselves.

Mark McGill is a dirty no good, lowdown murderer and dope smuggler played by Jack (Theater Of Blood) Hawkins.

Pretty Phyllis Brooks is a gullible and naive woman named Ann Perryman.

Phyllis was born in Boise, Idaho, and traveled in social circles that included people like John F. Kennedy, who was the Godfather of her oldest son. She was also in two Charlie Chan movies.

Sebastian (Anakin Skywalker) Shaw is Inspector Bradley of "The Flying Squad."

Ann Perryman's brother Ronald is up to his neck in trouble, and Tiser is Mark McGill's henchman.

Sedeman is washed up out of work actor, and Li Joseph is a senile olde man who only knows how to play one annoying song on the violin.

The trap door in the floor is a straight drop into the river. McGill uses it to throw out the trash.

Ronald introduces his sister to McGill.

The olde man Li is driving the gang crazy with his incessant violin playing.

This looks like a shot from some Edgar Allen Poe film.

McGill kills Ronald, and poor olde Li saw it happen, so he has to be disposed of too.

Rat dog McGill convinces Ann that Inspector Bradley was responsible for the death of her brother, even though he was really the one who did it, and she falls for it.

These two are just regular colourful Edgar Wallace characters.

Phyllis Brooks was engaged at one time to Cary Grant, but she ended up marrying Torbert Macdonald, who had been John F. Kennedy's roommate at Harvard University, and went on to become an 11-term Congressman in Massachusetts.

Dumbass McGill blows his cover when he leaves the phone off the hook after talking to Ann.

Before it's over, McGill has Ann moving drugs for him, and she doesn't even know it.

"The Flying Squad" is only 64 minutes long, so it doesn't waste your time with a bunch of fluff and filler! It's a bit droll, but it's worth an hour of your time.

A TURKEY FREAK THANKSGIVING

Well, I have a special post Thanksgiving Day treat for you. This is what can happen to you if you get an invite from your old Army pal to spend that special Turkey Day at his turkey farm and hatchery with his family and friends...

Here's Joe's turkey farm on the outskirts of the small town of Pumpkin Center, you can see Joe has all the bases covered, including selling poultry manure for the pumpkins.

Our man Turk shows up at his pal's place but Joe's away doing some deliveries, so, Joe's wife Janie has Turk come to the pool with her to smoke a big old joint.

Turk gets way too stoned and he grabs a turkey, runs out into the street and lets it go, saying, shoo, shoo! Problem is, see that open door, one of the workers sees Turk do the deed.

Joe is informed about the the turkey so Joe goes in to ask him what the whole thing was all about, but walks in on Turk and Janie getting intimate while smoking another joint.

Joe goes to see his in-house chemist, Poindexter, and asks him if he could make him a special serum out of some turkey hormones. Poindexter says, sure...

Then Joe goes to their in-house chef, Tokie, and asks him to inject the serum into a special turkey that he prepares for Turk. The look on Tokie's face says it all.

Tokie takes the turkey to Turk, who's ravenous after a joint. Gobble, gobble, gobble!

It was delicious but it's making him feel nauseous, urp. 

Turk goes to his room to lay down, and when he wakes up, he's a freaking turkey monster, and has an appetite for humans!

Turk runs wild in the dark and seeks revenge on humans for all the turkeys what gave their lives on Thanksgiving Day!

He chokes this guy out and cuts his arm off with that industrial saw there!

But in the end, Turk is shot dead and he becomes a Thanksgiving Day Feast at the turkey farm. Well, I guess there's a moral here, but I don't know what it'd be!

AMAZING STORIES - "Thanksgiving" (1986)

 

35 years ago, in 1986, on this very day, there was a holiday edition of "Amazing Stories" on TV, and that's what tonight's Weird Wednesday is all about.

 

It was the ninth episode from season two, and what a perfect title for a show on the eve of "Thanksgiving."

This is where a grumpy bachelor named Calvin lives. If you can't read the sign, it says "Rocks, Cactus, Bones." It's kind of like Calvin's own personal Disneyland out in the desert!

Calvin is played by the always entertaining David Carradine, and that's his step daughter Dora Johnson in the background. They are the only two characters in this warped "Thanksgiving" story.

Dora would like to have a good old fashioned Turkey Dinner for Thanksgiving, but Calvin doesn't want to have anything to do with it.

Calvin's got different plans, like working on this dry well.

The bottom of the well drops out. Calvin lowers a flashlight into it, and when he pulls it back up, somebody or something has kept the flashlight and put some gold wrapped in a bag. Calvin decides he wants more so he takes the gold and goes into town to get some supplies.

Dora Johnson is played by the actress Kyra Sedgwick. The very talented Kyra has also produced and directed films.

Although Calvin has instructed Dora to stay away from the hole while he's away, she pens a letter to whatever's down there.

 

Dora then proceeds to lower a dictionary and a big piece of ham into the hole.

Whatever's in that hole thought the ham was might tasty, and wants to know what else she has got.

Whatever is down there is mighty generous, and sends up a whole basket of jewelry as a payment.

Dumbass Calvin comes back with a big load of flashlights, because that's what he thinks whatever is down there likes.

But what they really want is more food!

 Calvin is not the brightest person in the world, and he decides he'll just go down there and take what he wants, so Dora lowers him into the hole.

When Dora hoists Calvin back up, all she finds is a shell of a man that's full of jewels and coins. There's also a note that says "Our scholars have determined this food to be turkey, what else do you have?"

Happy Thanksgiving!!

NIGHT GALLERY / "Hell's Bells" - 1971

Here's a wild tale starring our favorite wild man, John Astin, as hippie Randy Miller, who finds out that Hell isn't what he thought it'd be...

We start with someone driving 90 miles an hour through the woods at night.

That someone is hipster Randy Miller, we see him push the gas pedal all the way to the floor as he sits calmly behind the wheel.

UH-OH!!!

And he runs off the road and rolls down a hill, then his car explodes, killing him.

On the way to wherever he's going from there, monster heads harass him and one of them swallows him down...

He slides down a chute and ends up in a waiting room!

A woman pops in to pick up the gum wrapper he threw on the floor. He asks her.. Lady, what's going on around here? She answers him with with an angry voice... Go through that door when the sign says 'next' and, MY NAME IS FAT LADY!! She disappears.

As he's waiting for his turn, Randy tries to imagine what Hell's like with visions of the underworld filling his head, and he says.. What a trip!!

Finally, the 'next' sign signals that Randy's up to bat.

As he enters, he notices that it's an old fashioned room with a fireplace, chairs and lots of wallpaper on the walls.

He sees a record player and puts a tune on, hoping to hear his band's song or some current hits, but it plays old swing tunes! The hipster tries to turn it off but it just keeps playing the old tunes, much to his displeasure!

He sits down by an old gentleman and asks him.. Hey, did you hear about the Beatles breaking up? Bummer! And the old man replies.. We use arsenic on them, it works great!

Then he just smiles back at Randy.

Then this couple is ready to start showing 8,500 slides from their last vacation!

Randy is totally confused. The devil pops in and Randy wants to know where in the Hell's the action, what he's experiencing so far is just plain... BORING!!

The devil informs Randy that in heaven, they have exactly the same thing there, it's just a matter of what individuals consider their heaven and Hell! Then the devil leaves.

The couple, with glee, start their slide show of their vacation, explaining what's going on with each slide they put up...

Needless to say, Randy is in his own personal Hell, an afterlife of BOREDOM!! I can identify with that!! We love John Astin!!!