AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE / Mail Order Bride - 2002

I started watching Adult Swim from day one and watched it every night for almost twenty years, until we dumped our cable service. Aqua Teen Hunger Force was there to assault our senses with things never imagined before.

This episode takes place during Xmas, our gang's house is one piece of crap located in New Jersey and the boys have the worst decorations in the neighborhood... Or anywhere!

Frylock is checking out Meatwad's present wish list...

He's having a problem figuring out what the Hell it is Meatwad wants.

In the meantime, Shake and their next door neighbor Carl are working on their own Xmas present, and boy is it a whopper!

You see, Shake and Carl have ordered a mail order bride from Chechnya, and, a semi truck and trailer has just pulled up in front of Shake's house.

The bride-to-be is dropped off and of course Carl is the first one out to greet her.

Svetlana's reading the contract when Shake gets in her face and orders her to go cook something for him, he's starving!

Then Carl asks her to put some special clothes on he picked out for the occasion!

She runs into Carl's house and shuts the door. Carl thinks he's got it made until he discovers that the door's locked!

Carl tries to get over to his house on a ladder...

But, it collapses and Carl ends up with a broken neck. He yells at her, hey baby, look what I did just for you!

Svetlana immediately puts a board over the window.

So, Carl is out of the hospital and is still excited about getting married in the morning. That's some wild looking head gear he's sporting.

So, night falls and it's a short wait for Shake and Carl's wedding day to begin.

The wedding's at Carl's house, Svetlana wants to have the ceremony take place in separate rooms, and with the door locked.

The ceremony is just ending when Svetlana burns rubber in Carl's car to get the Hell away from those guys as quickly as possible!

Carl paid a DJ for the celebration and he's not going to waste his money. That's George Lowe playing himself, you'll remember him as the voice of Space Ghost in SPACE GHOST, COAST TO COAST.

As usual, Carl and the boys get burned, bad. The only one that's having a good time is Meatwad!

NOWHERE TO GO - "Except Onto A Woman's Couch" (1958)

 

Tonight's Weird Wednesday presentation is a great British film from 1958 entitled "Nowhere To Go." This film is weirder than Hell, has some amazing cast members, and the camera work is well thought out for each and every shot!

"Nowhere To Go" is about a con man played by George Nader who escapes from prison, tries to pull of a big heist, fails, and consequently has "Nowhere To Go!"

As you can see, "Nowhere To Go" is a very stylish and atmospheric film.

 

Dungeon Super Hero George Nader is Paul Gregory. He's a predator!

George Nader's list of credits is about as amazing as anyone's in the outright strange but awesome category, and you can check it out for yourself by following this link!

Just a couple of prime examples are "House Of A 1000 Dolls," "The Million Eyes Of Sumuru," "The Human Duplicators," "Robot Monster," and all the Jerry Cotton movies.

 

So much is so strange about this film, from the camera angles to the really odd cuts, it will really keep you wondering!

Even people just walking down the street are interesting!

This was Director Seth Holt's first film!

In 1971 Seth Holt passed away at the age of 47 before his last film, "Blood Of The Mummy's Tomb," was completed!

In one of her earliest roles, Dame Maggie Smith has the role of Paul Gregory's potential significant other, Bridget Howard.

Magnificent Maggie is well known these days for her ongoing role as Professor Minerva McGonagall in the Harry Potter series of films, and she's still working today!

 George Nader is another actor I absolutely cannot believe doesn't have a star on the stupid Hollywood Walk Of Fame. My word, they should be ashamed! I could give a list of at least 100 people less deserving, that do have a star.

Paul Gregory is up to his ears in trouble, and it's getting to the point where he has zero allies!

All that, and we haven't even got to the real reason I wanted to watch this movie yet!

So how do you like the entertainment in this club? It was hard to get a good shot, but the main act is a blackbird balanced on a soccer ball rolling it around in a little ring.

And her she is, everybody's favourite vampiress, Andree Melly, as Rosa the cocktail waitress who brings Paul home to her flat for the night! As quirky as ever, Rosa doesn't like the bird. 

Around these parts, Andree's most memorable role is that of Gina in "The Brides Of Dracula."

Rosa has a cat that makes it difficult for Paul to get any rest.

When the law is on your tail, it's always best to head to the rooftops!

Believe it or not, Snoop Dog, Snoopy, and Snow White have stars on the HWoF, but not Maggie Smith. I really think it's time to rethink that whole project!

For being a con man, Paul Gregory respects the women who help him out, and even sleeps on the couch in Bridget Howard's home. Bridget has one of the most interesting doors to her bedroom I have ever seen.

Not riding off into the sunset, "Nowhere To Go" is not one of those kinds of films!

There's no happy ending here.

Last, but absolutely not least, "Nowhere To Go" has got a killer jazzy soundtrack by Jamaican-born  trumpeter Dizzy Reece, with help from tenor sax player Tubby Hayes. I wasn't really that familiar with these players, so when I first read the name Dizzy Reece, it really confounded me, and I just figured out why. When I was a kid, I used to watch a lot of baseball on TV, and one the most famous pair of announcers at the time were ex-players Dizzy Dean and Pee Wee Reese. Yeah, I know Reese is spelled differently, but that's still pretty weird!

Here's a damn fine reason this film is so good!

The Dizzy Reece Quartet - "Nowhere To Go"

BEANY AND CECIL In "The 7th Voyage Of Singood" - 1962

The clock on the wall sez it's time for a Beany And Cecil cartoon, here at The Dungeon! This is one of the later titles near the end of production, and, it's just strange, maybe they were running out of ideas, which is a good possibility.

Remember some of the other maps Cap'n Huffenpuff had, many locations with those 'pun-ee' names. Well, you won't find that here.

Cap'n and the boys are on their way to Ash Canistan (whoa) to cash in their empty bottles (is that a weird thing to be doing or what) for the deposits (weird).

Then, out of nowhere in his ship, DJ playing Singood corners Cecil and busts a tennis racquet over his head, just for starters.

But when Cecil fights back, DJ resorts to releasing Greeny The Seasick Genie!

When you watch Greeny go through his paces, I'm convinced that he's drunk, not seasick.. He's having too much fun!! And he hiccups like a mofo, c'mon!

DJ orders Greeny to make a wall for the gang to run into, but DJ runs into it instead... I don't get it. Anyway, the little genie is starting to get on DJ's nerves.

Cecil fights back with cannon balls but Greeny keeps turning them into fruit and eating them. Again, what the Hell, man.

DJ wants to plant a bomb on the Leakin' Lena so Greeny fixes him up with a diving suit, using another wish.

It doesn't go well for DJ...

I can't remember what slang term DJ uses but he ends up naked in a bucket of water. 

This one's easy, DJ says.. Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle!

Finally, looks like DJ mentioned something about being tied up in a knot and he's captured by Cap'n Huffenpuff and the boys.

DJ summons Greeny and tells him... You know where you can go!!

So, DJ ends up where he belongs, and guess what?!.. That was his last wish!!!

Beany asks Cecil where DJ and Greeny went. Cecil says... The devil if I know!