LI SAN JIAO WEI ZHEN DI YU MEN - "The Dragon Lives Again" (1977)

 Tonight's Saturday Night Special is either one of the best movies I've ever seen, or one of the worst! I just can't make up my mind! One thing that is for sure is that they double downed on the weirdness factor, now whether that works or not depends on how intoxicated you are. That being said, let's get this party started! 

 The movie is presented as a dedication to Bruce Lee's fans, when it's actually an exploitation of Bruce Lee's popularity that steals freely from every known action film icon the producers could think of. It's really a quite incredibly amazing piece of shit,.....I mean work of art! It's called "Li San Jiao Wei Zhen Di Yu Men," and is sometimes referred to as "Deadly Hands Of Kung Fu," or "The Dragon Lives Again!"

 This wild child of a story finds Bruce Lee, as played by Siu Lung Leung (Bruce Leong), has died and gone to Hell! In this burning inferno he meets a very weird assortment of famous people good and bad! Bruce doesn't want to be dead, and since he's not sure how to get out, he opens a gym!

Take your pick! 

This guy is either The King, The Devil, The Boss, or just some horny pervert! It's kind of hard to take serious a guy who wears what looks like a pearl lampshade on his head!

 I'm not liking the looks of this menu, just bring me a glass of ice water please!

The bosses of the Bad Guy's Club are The Godfather and The Exorcist, who are joined by soft-pore corn star Emmanuelle (played by Jenny in her only known role!) For the record, just in case this looks like a kid's movie, it's not! There is no graphic violence, but there are a couple of sex scenes that go on for quite a while!

Why Clint Eastwood and James Bond are also on the evil side, I have no idea!

 As is Zatoichi, the blind swordsman hero of Japan who rounds out this team of scoundrels!

 It might seem like overwhelming odds against Bruce, but he gets some help from Popeye and Shaolin monk and martial-arts expert Caine of "Kung Fu" fame!!

 Pull it I say!!

 Just to make it even less comprehensible, sometimes Bruce shows up as Kato, the role he had on "The Green Hornet" TV show!

 Oh, I almost forgot, Dracula is also one of the bad guys!

 Drac takes one for The Gipper!!

 James Bond is almost too easily disposed of!

 Clint Eastwood wasn't much more difficult!

 The Exorcist and The Godfather put up a pretty formidable fight!

 Bur Bruce is too much for them so they have to call in the Hoppin' Mummies chorus line!

 One of the greatest fight scenes in Kung Fu history!

 I don't think he really needed them, but Caine, Popeye, and The One-Armed Swordsman jump into the fray!

 And Yes Virginia, Popeye even has the requisite can of spinach he'll dig into before this fight is over!

Well, there's so much more to the story, but in The End, Bruce is released to go back to the Earth, and as he's whisked away, everybody left behind gives him a fond farewell. Bruce wanted to take everybody back with him, but The Boss said no because if he did, "The Earth would be an even crazier place!" Some things just aren't worth arguing over!

TALES OF TOMORROW: 'Test Flight' / Season 1 Episode 10 - 1951

Let's go back 67 years and check out this classic sci-fi TV episode from TALES OF TOMORROW... A headstrong, ambitious, sometimes unscrupulous businessman, an entrepreneurial capitalist, has ambitions to build a spaceship that is capable of interplanetary travel! Despite warnings about the foolhardiness of his undertaking, he's determined to follow through, especially when a meek scientist shares his ideas about utilizing magnetism as a propulsion system.

It stars Lee J. (THE EXORCIST) Cobb as Wayne Crowder, Vinton (THE MUMMY'S TOMB) Hayworth, Cameron (THE RAINMAKER) Prud'Homme and Harry (THE GREAT IMPOSTOR) Townes as Wilkins.

Here's Wayne Crowder, ambitious industrial capitalist, he's obsessed with the idea of building a spaceship that can travel throughout the galaxy!

His main concern is the propulsion system, so, he runs an ad in the newspaper in search of someone to help him in his quest.

Crowder's prayers are answered when a scientist named Wilkins shows up for an interview. He fills Crowder in on all the details of his propulsion system already being developed.

Crowder hires Wilkins but his financial director tells him that he has almost depleted his money supply and that if he wants to complete his pipe dream, he needs to take off like now, or, all his fortune will be lost!

Crowder goes to Wilkins' lab and tells him he has to speed up his development of his engine because the time is nigh!

So, Wilkins and Crowder finally take off in their V-2 rocket...

Crowder feels the g-force as they climb into space, they even use (new at the time) stock footage of their ascent, miles above the Earth.

After they have proved that the rocket works flawlessly, Crowder tell Wilkins to turn the ship around and head back to Earth. But, Wilkins has set the controls for Mars, Crowder freaks out and tries to choke him!.. Now what?!

Wilkins then transforms into a freakin' Martian!

And, Mars looms in the distance, the final destination for the two astronuts!! Hey, tune in tomorrow for a special Saturday post from Eegah!! Later dudes and dudettes!

THE GONG SHOW - Chuck Barris (1976 - 1979)

Todays Whacko Wednesday Feature is one of my all-time fave TV shows. "The Gong Show" came on in the in 1976, and stayed on the air until mid 1979, the brainchild of Mr. Chuck Barris, who, just in case you don't know, also created "The Dating Game." That's where it all started! Chuck has got to be one of the most interesting people to ever walk the planet, too bad he just passed away last year at the age of 87, so any secrets he had, he took with him, and I don't think he would have told anybody the truth if they ever asked him anyway! So this one's for Chuckie!

I get the feeling that Chuck wasn't always the happy go lucky guy he portrays on the show, but for me, he was hilarious about 90% of the time, and that's a good ratio!

Chuck wrote a fictional autobiography called "Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind" that was made into a movie directed by George Clooney in his first attempt at directing, that came out in 2002 and starred Sam Rockwell as Chuck.

If you're a Gong Show fan, this movie will drive you crazy because it portrays Chuck as the lovable game show host and he's also a 'not such a nice guy' hit man for the C.I.A. Chuck never claimed it wasn't true, but there doesn't appear to be any real evidence to back up his story, but........Who the Hell really knows? We're talking about Chuck Barris here, not some normal person!

The Clone Rangers are just one of the acts you can find on YouTube, but it's hard to find anything that is decent quality! Everything looks like it was recorded on a VHS tape, mabye even on the slow speed, but it doesn't really detract from this array of awesome entertainment that much!

I forgot the name of this act, but you get the idea!

I didn't know that there were Gong Show bubblegum trading cards until yesterday!

After Chuck, my favorite recurring cast member was the lovely and hilarious singer Jaye P. Morgan! Jaye P. had been a successful singer long before this show was ever thought of. She had a big hit in 1951 called "Life Is Just A Bowl Of Cherries," and I think that concept is how she has lived her life, to the fullest!

Also in 1976, Jaye P. came out with this album of funky pop soul songs on the Candor label. It's good enough that I still have my copy, and am listening to it right now! Jaye P. was just cool!

One of the regulars on the show was Gene Patton, aka Gene Gene, The Dancing Machine! Gene tears it up right here, and gets everybody so excited that...........

.........On an uncensored version Jape P. actually exposes herself! Now that's some damn fine daytime TV!

This weird Ventriloquist disassembles his dummy and gets gonged for his efforts!

This guy played Mason Williams' "Classical Gas" Jimi style on his acoustic guitar!

What outfits!

Sometime they actually had very talented people on like this gal who can actually sing and belts out a powerful number!

So now we get to the good part! I've seen a lot of great stuff on The Gong Show including "The Mystic Knights Of The Oingo Boingo, but for me, I think one of the best acts ever on the show was the fabulous Bait Brothers!

These guys kill it, and to prove it, here's the link so you can go watch it yourself! If you've never seen their act, you're in for a treat! 

The Bait Brothers and "Shake The Ground!"

The Bait Brothers also appeared in "The Gong Show Movie" and even made an appearance on Don Kirshner's "Rock Concert" TV show!

This performance by Tami and the Starlets is truly amazing. It's at the very beginning of this longer clip that is also on YouTube. You've just got to see and hear Tami perform Captain and Tennille's "Love Will Keep Us Together!" Have Mercy!

One of my favorite comedians, Gary Mule Deer is extremely amusing as always when he attempts to use a corn chip as a guitar pick!

Leave it to Chuck!
They rudely close the curtain on this old guy about 30 seconds into his schtick, and that's where I'm going to leave you!

That's about it! I am literally going to go watch some more Gong Show as soon as I finish writing this sentence! I could use a good laugh right about now, and Chuck always managed to bring it!