HOT-ROD GIRL - Alexander Courage "All Hopped Up" (1956)

Welcome to the Wednesday Night Drags! Tonight's real gone flick is "Hot-Rod Girl!" I didn't realize it when I rented it from Netflix, but this film can be downloaded for free at the good ole Internet Archive! Once again,  The Archive never ceases to amaze me!!

Lori (REVENGE OF THE CREATURE, DAY THE WORLD ENDED) Nelson IS Lisa Vernon, the "Hot-Rod Girl!" The funny thing is that this movie isn't really about her that much!!

"Hot-Rod Girl" literally screams 1956, and no matter what, I still like 1950's movies the best!!

Is that an MG  she's smoking on the line? I don't think that import stood a chance in the quarter mile versus her souped up Thunderbird!

For me, it's hard to tell since it's a convertible whether this is a 1952, 53, 54, or 55 T-Bird! I'm sure one of you purists will let me know! They didn't really change much through those years! Beautiful car no matter what the year!

Chuck (THE RIFLEMAN) Connors is the local cop in charge of trying to keep the crazy kids in line!

One of the best impressionists of all time, Frank (THE RIDDLER) Gorshin is allowed to do some of his schtick in his role as Flat Top! One of the funniest things I ever saw on The Ed Sullivan Show was Frank Gorshin doing his impersonation of Frankenstein bowling!!

One of the gang, Del Erikson as Steve Northrup gets goaded into a street race! The final straw was when the guy in the white hot rod got in front of him and purposely backed his car into Steve's! Do people still do that kind of crap? I had a car full of weirdos run into me at a stoplight one time when I was in high school just looking for a fight, but that was back when we had metal bumpers!! Try that today, and you might total your car!

Steve dies in an accident and his brother Jeff is ruined since he was the mechanic responsible for hopping up his brother's rod! Jeff was played by John Smith who had a nice career in TV westerns as Deputy Lane Temple in 26 episodes of "Cimmaron City," and as Slim Sherman in 126 episodes of "Laramie!"

Speaking of hopped up, the killer music in "Hot-Rod Girl" was played by an all-star band of L.A. jazz and studio musicians that included names like Bud Shank, Dave Pell, Pete Candoli, Maynard Ferguson, Frank Rosolino, Barney Kessel, and Milt Holland!!! And speaking of stars, the music in "Hot-Rod Girl" was composed by the none other than Alexander Courage, the man who composed the theme for "Star Trek!!!"

And while we're on the subject of music, this gal was known as L.P. as in long-playing record, because every time she says something, she totally runs off at the mouth! The lovely L.P. was played by Roxanne (SON OF SINBAD, THE LOVED ONE) Arlen!

Every time L.P. comes up with some brilliant statement, it has this kind of effect on the other kids!

The new kid in town, Mark (CAPTAIN MIDNIGHT) Andrews as Bronc Talbott is a troublemaker! What is he, like 24?

Bronc immediately tries to make a play for Lisa, but she's holding out for Jeff to pull out of his blue funk!

So when Flat Top tries to tell Bronc to cool down, Bronc challenges him to a game of 'Chicken!'

Tough guy Bronc prevails and Flat Top gets the crap scared out of him, and swears he'll never play 'chicken' again, but the local authorities find out about the game and start putting pressure on the kids again!

In a fit of jealousy, Bronc runs Jeff and Lisa off the road, and a kid on a bicycle gets hit, and the blame goes on Jeff even though he's innocent!

When Chuck Connors presses Bronc for the truth after finding some paint off the kid's bicycle on Bronc's bumper, Bronc conks him on the head with a bottle and tries to escape, but Jeff shows up and kicks Bronc's ass, and saves his own in the process!! It's the perfect ending for a perfect movie!!

MORONS FROM OUTER SPACE / Thorn EMI Screen Entertainment - 1985

It's Moron Monday with Tabonga, here at The Dungeon!.. We gots a wild little British flick about three aliens in space who are sick of their driver, Bernard, he doesn't take anything seriously and it's really getting on their nerves. While Bernard's playing space ball in the sports pod, the others accidentally disconnect that part from the ship, leaving him stranded while they are forced to crash land on Earth...

Eegah!! sent us over the catchy theme song, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button there by the space helmet, NOW, Ralphie The Tarantula! Here's our audio offering for... MORONS FROM OUTER SPACE!

Here's Bernard, played by the talented Mel Smith, who was in a ton of fun Brit projects. Mel has 42 credits playing himself!

Well, you can see the sports pod being detached, Bernard's in there kicking a ball around.

The others have to try and land the spacecraft as good as they can and end up scooting along on a British freeway, creating lots of melodrama!

Meanwhile, Bernard sits in the patio area, feeling sorry for himself until...

He gets picked up by this horny space jockey because the dude thinks he's a chick!

Bernard spills the beans and informs him that he's a guy, so, the thing ejects him and he has to enter into the Earth's atmosphere the hard way!

After a long nap and a lot of exterior noise, the other crew members finally open a door to see what's all the hubbub..

An agent sees millions in the novelty of a space alien band and creates a spaceship for them to enter the stage on!

They kick ass in the rock world!

Bernard finds them, but, they ain't that happy to see him...

A mother ship comes to rescue the lost aliens, so, it's time to say goodbye to all their fans.

And, leaves Bernard stranded once again!

GEBISSEN WIRD NUR NACHTS - Jerry Van Rooyen - "TheVampire Happening" (1971)

Tonight's Saturday Night Special is called "Gebissen Wird Nur Nachts" which translates literally into English as "Bitten At Night," but the English title is "The Vampire Happening!"

"The Vampire Happening" is a strange little Freddie Francis directed vampire sex romp comedy from 1971  that is a somewhat interesting movie! Does that make it any good? Well, not exactly!!

The story of Pia Charlotte Caminneci Degermark is an odd one at best! Her first film was "Elvira Madigan" for which she won the best actress award at the Cannes Film Festival in 1967! Four years and three films later, Pia made her last film titled "The Vampire Happening" that was produced by her husband! After that, her life became a jumbled up mess of anorexia and substance abuse! She's since recovered and is still alive somewhere today, and we wish her well!

In "The Vampire Happening" Pia plays an actress named Betty Williams, and this is a sample of the kind of people who watched her movies!

Betty Williams has just flown to Transylvania where she has inherited this castle! She originally came just to check it out and then sell the place, but that plan doesn't get her very far!

Betty is greeted by the caretaker of the joint, Yvor Murillo as Josef, in his one of only two film credits!

Upon arrival, Betty finds out that her Great Grandmother Clarimonde bears a striking resemblance to herself, and soon finds out that she was also a vampire that was feared throughout the land! Pia Degermark also has the role of Clarimonde of course, only with black tresses!

Pretty cool looking shot from the flashback dream sequence, I have to admit!

"The Vampire Happening" is chock full of sexual innuendos like these servings of pudding and the mossy base of this tree!

Believe it or don't but we had no knowledge of this film when Tabonga.......

...........created this clock for "13 O'Clock Theatre!"

The music used in "The Vampire Happening" was created by Jerry (Küss Mich, Monster) Van Rooyen!! My favourite part of the whole film is the little snippet in the sound clip of the broadcast from "Transylvania Radio!" Now that's freakin' funny!

It's impossible to have a good Euro vampire tale without some kind of girl's school involved!

Cool! This vampire has gold crowns!

Here's where the real 'Happening' comes into play! It's a big vampire party and orgy replete with a genuine vampire band!!

Dracula comes to the 'Happening' in his own private company whirlybat!

This just might be the only time you will ever see a picture of a vampire eating a banana! Ferdy (The Fearless Vampire Killers) Mayne has the role of Dracula!!

It's not like I forgot to tell you the story, it's just that it's not really that important!

Dracula carries a player's card and is welcomed to the free 'all you can eat' buffet!!!

When the sun comes up, the party is over, and the vampires go down!!

I've always been of the mind that comedies should be funny for some strange reason, because if they're not, they are kind of meaningless, but like vampires, "The Vampire Happening" mostly just bites and sucks!